To have wanted to celebrate?

[ThinkyPantsWorryWort]

Just after a quick poll of opinion really. Had a very sleepless night last night as I had an extremely important meeting today. It went better than I could have hoped and I came home v. happy.

I suggested a celebratory take away as a family. O/h said no. Although he is very proud of me he Feels not having a celebrationary meal is a consequence of the fact that 3 weeks ago I said I'd start dieting again and I haven't. (lost 3 stone so far; another 2 to go - I will do it).

Am currently quietly cooking tea for dd; he knows he's upset me but I can't quite articulate why I'm so hurt.

I think the issue here is the lack of shopping to be honest.

It sounds as though if either you or your DH had of had time to do it, this wouldn't really be a problem.

When I used to smoke, I vowed to cut down before I gave up. But there were times if something upset me, I'd smoke a fag for comfort. If something really good happened, I'd smoke a fag to celebrate. If I'd been really 'good' and cut right down for a few days, I'd smoke a fag 'because I'd been so good so far'.

Despite the fact my DH smoked at the time too, he wouldn't come outside for a fag with me because he could see what I was doing wasn't helpful to me ....therefore he didn't want to be a part of it as he felt that would have encouraged me more and he was right - although I couldn't see it at the time.

I know smoking and diet are two different things, but I feel the sentiment here is the same.

I think had you have said 'shall we get a take away because I am knackered and we don't have anything in' the response may have been different.

however i don't think he did anything wrong. He hasn't told you no, he has said he doesn't want one. Although i don't get how he said that and the bit about consequences. Its doesn't seem to fit.

He shouldn't have to have it because you want it. I rarely drink. Dh drinks a occasionally. If he got stroppy with me because he wanted to celebrate by drinking and i didn't fancy a drink, i would be annoyed at that. I don't see why i should drink because he wants one, iyswim.

I see what you both mean. Thing is, that's what he said. First that as a consequence of not starting my diet again (first time it's ever been mentioned) he wasn't going to share a takeaway with me. Then that he didn't want to as is being healthy. It doesn't fit! Am left thinking the truth must be in the middle somewhere.

Not having been shopping is my fault as it's normally something I do. Going to have to brave it later though.

See alot would say you should have both known.

Buy in our house dh does all shopping and cooking and I do all washing and ironing. So he would know we had no food, i wouldn't. I would know there was loads of ironing. He wouldn't. Depends how your household works.

I think, regarding how he put it, he felt a twat for the way he said it so changed it. He should have apologised. If me and dh say somethig that sounds twattish, rather than cover it we say something like 'sorry that came put wrong what i meant is...' or 'i didn't that to sound so harsh, sorry'.

Fair enough if he doesn't want a take away, but then he sorts dinner surely?
But "as a consequence of you not starting your diet again". He sounds like a prick, YANBU

That's exactly why it's my fault! I shop, he cooks. I wash, he puts away. So I knew there wasn't much in.

Thank you for all your replies. We will talk properly once dd is in bed; I'm certain he'll apologise. I just wanted to know, mostly, whether or not I had had unrealistic expectations of tonight.

Can't believe the number of posters here who seem to think it's acceptable for DH to decide the OP MUST NOT go out for a celebratory meal because she's on a diet!

This sounds controlling and frankly, rather spiteful. Of course it's possible to go out for a nice healthy non-fattening meal! Steak and salad anyone? And even if OP did indulge in a few carbs or a pud, as a one-off it won't make any difference to her diet!

Can't believe the number of posters here who seem to think it's acceptable for DH to decide the OP MUST NOT go out for a celebratory meal because she's on a diet!

He didn't decide anything of the sort.

I think you misread the OP.

Maybe because instead of "Well done, put your feet up and relax" you're slaving over a hot stove yet again putting others first despite your tough day.

The correct answer from dp was "I'd prefer to support your healthy eating, how about i cook us a stirfry while you watch that programme you recorded the other day"

Is it a health matter, with your weight? Is that perhaps why he is being this way?

I would be upset if my DH said this too.

lapsed absolutely. If that's what happened. But its not.