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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To question whether you can really love someone after a couple of dates?!

60 replies

Fondantfancy99 · 26/11/2012 13:15

Friend has just met a new guy online dating. Very happy for her but also slightly concerned - they have already exchanged I love yous (after about 5 dates) and she has introduced him to her entire family including aunties and uncles! I've witnessed some fast-moving relationships in the past (including me and DP who moved in together after a few months) but this is a new extreme!

I personally think it takes a while longer to really love someone. AIBU?

OP posts:

Original poster

Fondantfancy99 · 26/11/2012 15:42

Wow lots of stories of love at first sight :o

OP posts:

HoratiaWinwood · 26/11/2012 15:52

themumsnot I was about to get really indignant then that you had mixed me up with some other poster ... but I realised just in time that it was a literary joke! Come and join us in Adult Fiction in the GH Book Club.

MoomieAndFreddie · 26/11/2012 16:49

my 2p worth:

basically, i think most compatible couples pretty much fall in love at first sight, or very very quickly

BUT, out of them, i think not all move quickly into saying i love you, moving in together, etc, they are more cautious. so even though they havent made massive declarations to eachother, they ARE "in love"

and also i think the way men are portrayed as scared of commitment etc makes people surprised when relationships move quickly. but i actually think that is a myth that all men don't want commitment etc

does that make sense?

IfNotNowThenWhen · 26/11/2012 16:55

Yeah, it does. Ime men fall in love really quickly, or not at all. but then they do tend to fall in love with looks. Since I have been over 30 no man has been in love with me. When I was young and pretty I was beating them off with a shitty stick :(

MoomieAndFreddie · 26/11/2012 16:57

oh ifnot thats sad, don't say that, i bet you are gorgeous :(

BridgetBidet · 26/11/2012 17:07

Yep, I knew very early on and we've been together 13 years now.

Also a girl I worked with around the same time met her husband and was engaged within a few months and they are still together 10 years on with 2 kids.

BridgetBidet · 26/11/2012 17:09

I got on with my DH so well we didn't spend a night apart for about 18 months after we met each other until his aunt died and he had to go home to Ireland alone.

We moved in together properly after about 6 months by necessity but I think if you know, you know.

IloveJudgeJudy · 26/11/2012 17:17

I told DH. I loved him after a week. He took a bit longer. Together 22 years, married 20. Both late 20s. Still very happy.

electricalbanana · 26/11/2012 17:24

i met my DH online and i had fallen in love with him and he with me before we met! we had spoken on the phone for weeks before i said yes to meet him. i had no idea what he looked like and he me. I fell in love with his voice and his manner...we had some very very long conversations.

I met him....and my instincts were right

he is as lovely as i imagined.

we didnt "profess our love" for a few weeks but it was very very obvious this was not just a shag.

8 years later.....still rocks my boat!

brighthair · 26/11/2012 17:29

My parents were engaged after 6 weeks and married after 13 weeks (no, not shotgun wedding)
It's their 38th wedding anniversary next year

MurderOfGoths · 26/11/2012 17:29

I told DH I loved him on our second date

Seems to have worked out ok

IfNotNowThenWhen · 26/11/2012 17:30

Aw thanks Moomie . I am OK, just facing the fact that I am not the catch I used to be!

electricalbanana · 26/11/2012 17:34

ifnot ....my profile on t'interweb described me as

Short fat hairy frodo type with hair feet
Looking for the lord of her ring

apparently it made him laugh...

i am no beauty (was in my hay day -1980s)...

i bet you look better than my profile!

ARightOldPickle · 26/11/2012 17:37

We knew from the first date, DH proposed after 5 weeks and we married 18 months later. Still together many many years later (old timers!)

So I say yes!

MerryCunnyFuntingChristmas · 26/11/2012 17:41

My friend got a new boyfriend, 4 weeks after they first got together they got matching tattoos, he got her name tattooed on him but she didn't get his. After 5 weeks they were engaged, after 6 weeks they split up. After roughly a week they got back together, then split up a week later, they got back together and I think they're still together. I can't keep up

My conclusion? I have no frigging idea.

x2boys · 26/11/2012 17:41

wel; we said we loved each other after two weeks enaged at six weeks married at six months 8years and 2 children later i still cant imagine life without him love him to bits although all that butterflies in stomach everything is just wonderful feeling goes after a few months

JuliaScurr · 26/11/2012 17:44

ifnot they were young, fit, and a bit immature
now they are like you - wise, ripened and luscious

WhatWouldSantaDo · 26/11/2012 17:47

I knew from the moment I saw DH, he says the same.
That Savage Garden song 'I Knew I Loved You' pretty much sums up how I feel about him.
I told my friends after I met him that he was The One.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 26/11/2012 18:03

I met DP on Facebook. We have a lot of mutual friends, one being my cousin. Its odd that we hadnt met before as we went to similar places, but it seems fate had a plan!

Anyway, we had a very long phone converstation before meeting a few days later. I stood him up the next week but then regretted it and apologised profusely.

I think it was about 6 weeks before he was living with me. It wasnt official, he just stayed over and never really left. We got engaged 3 months later. He was the first to say he loved me, he says he knew from the first night I was the one.

I do think its a bit silly to plaster it all over facebook and twitter though. We were quite private really.

Bonsoir · 26/11/2012 18:04

Yes of course you can be madly in love after a few seconds!

Oblomov · 26/11/2012 18:08

I knew alot about dh before I went on a date. I moved into his house as a lodger and so knew alot about him, how he lived, what kind of person he was, his thoughts on ... politcis, infidelity etc, what he cooked, etc. I knew very early that he was a very good man.
If you've been on 2 x 2 hr dates, you may not know that much about someone.
But don't dismiss my feelings as infatuation, becasue it wasn't. We never told eachother that we loved eachother for a bit, but I knew, right from the moment I met him, that he was something special.

Oblomov · 26/11/2012 18:10

WhatWouldSantaDo:
"I knew from the moment I saw DH, he says the same.
That Savage Garden song 'I Knew I Loved You' pretty much sums up how I feel about him.
I told my friends after I met him that he was The One."

Ditto.

zlist · 26/11/2012 18:18

I met DH on the Internet - due to the distance we talked on the phone for several weeks before meeting (at his house and I stayed the weekend). He told me he loved me after that 'date'. I was a bit about that and the talk of marriage soon after that but his friends and family make it clear that was far removed from his MO. I was a bit slower but it was still pretty quick for me! Anyway, we have now been married for 9 years - most of the time happily.

MummyToBe2013 · 26/11/2012 18:35

Started chatting online to DP on a Tuesday, we met on the Friday, saw each other on the Sunday, exchanged "I love yous" the following Tuesday - one week after first meeting online. Been together 14 months.

Crinkle77 · 26/11/2012 18:45

I think you know you have met 'the one' pretty much straighaway. I know it is a cliche but sometimes you just have that spark and you know if it is something special

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