To wish I didn't know what I was getting for Christmas

[FatherChristmasIsWatchingYou]

DP and I don't live together and are about to celebrate our second Christmas together. We are both on a very tight budget. Last year we agreed on what we would spend on each other. This we both started our Christmas shopping without coming up with a budget. The conversation came up about how much we were spending, so we asked each other what we had already spent on each other.

Anyway, to cut a long story short. He said £10. I knew full well he had purchased it off the internet the night before as he told me he had bought something for me. I knew he was buying his dad a DVD that night so I sort of figured he'd got me a DVD. I suddenly panicked thinking, I bet we bought each other the same DVD as its something we both wanted to see at the cinema but didn't get chance to (TED). So I rang his brother (who DP lives with) and asked him, did DP get me a DVD? He said yes, and then NAMED THE DVD he got me! Luckily, it is not the same one but I'm so pissed off that he told me what DP had got me.

I know this is pretty trivial but I basically am only getting a DVD and something else under £10 this Christmas off DP. I will not be seeing DP now until January as he has gone abroad (he flies today) with his family, so the presents are all I have of DP this Christmas.

AIBU to be pissed off that DP's brother told me what I'm getting for Christmas?

Seriously??? For real or a wind up? If you are over the age of 12 then surely a windup

How old are you???

I'm 25! What has my age got to do with anything? And no it is not a wind-up.

What is wrong with wanting to watch Ted??

It depends. Did you say "Did he get me a DVD for Xmas?" then YABU as it is normal to answer "Yes, he got....." if the person wasnt really thinking.

If you said "I am worried that we got each other the same gift as I have got him X" and then his brother said "Well he got you Y" instead of saying "Its fine, he hasnt got you that" then YANBU

He knew the reason I was asking, to check we didn't get the same one

What is wrong with wanting to watch Ted??

Snobbery. You should only want to watch foreign language films, without subtitles as only stupid people need the subtitles :o

I can understand not wanting to know, part of Xmas is a nice surprise and if you are only buying each other one gift each then there is no scope for any other surprises! Its the very reason why we dont do Xmas lists in this house, I dont want to the kids to look at a pile of gifts and know exactly what is in them! The fun is surely in the "Oh WOW!!! " for both the giver and the receiver?

Isn't a gift more about the thought that goes into it rather than the cost? I've just told my son (20 and struggling to make ends meet this Christmas) that a £5 that is carefully thought out is far more precious than a £100 gift that is given without thought or care.

Maybe he thought you were worried you got the same one.

Which you were worried about.

So there's no problem really.

Um, you asked and he answered. Your reaction to the whole situation seems very over the top, but I'm guessing that's because you're going to miss your DP over Christmas, so I won't be mean
I hope you manage to enjoy your Christmas despite knowing what one of your presents is.

Do none of you understand that if you are getting one gift only, then it takes the shine off it a bit that you know in advance what it is?

Yabu, a DVD is a rubbish present anyway, surely you could have both put a little more thought into what to get each other.

a DVD is a rubbish present anyway

Jeez, could you be more of a bitch?!

DH will be getting a DVD this year because he just lost his job and we dont know if his redundancy will be through by then, and because.....thats what he wants!

I could spend days walking around town for gift with "a little thought" in it, but he WANTS a DVD, as does the OP. Presumably you will be handing back any DVDs you get this Xmas with "no thank you, its a rubbish present, can you exchange it for something else that you have put a little more thought into please?".

I know what I'm getting for xmas, same as I get every year, nothing. We buy stuff for each other in the january sales instead.

You shouldn't have asked anything at all if you didn't want to know. Or just said I've got DP x dvd he hasn't got me the same one has he?

There is nothing you can do about it now so I'd just let it go if I were you, its not really a massive problem in the grand scheme of things.

To make a fuss about the surprise of a Christmas present being ruined when you are a grown adult is just silly but especially as it is something as unimaginative as a DVD.

I won't be spending much more than 10 pounds on my dp he will get a framed photo from our holiday this year and a footprint of our baby to go on the Christmas tree, in my opinion it isn't about how much you spend it's about choosing something that they will look at in years to come and think oh that's what honeytea gave me for Christmas 2012. I don't think a DVD would do that.

Hands OP a grip

Ted is an awesome film. Just thought it needed saying

Sorry but you do sound like a teenager having a strop as you haven't got the right gift.
I'm not getting anything this year off anyone (well I might possibly be sent something little from a friend) but I don't mind. I am an adult...not a child. I will eat good food, watch trashy tv next to a glittering tree and I'll be happy. Sounds like you need to get priorities in life sorted.

For fear of sounding like a preaching cliche user 'there are people starving in the world. Literally starving.' Get a grip.

Let's hope someone gives you a grip for Christmas.

Think someone should give one to Honeytea too