to not want exDh gf to put a photo of my Ds on facebook?

[nobutts]

Exdh has a gf, fiance in fact and her profile pic is of her and my ( her stepson to all intents) We are civil and polite; I totally accept she's part of DS life. She is pretty naive though being in her teens and people on her Fb would recognise DS as mine. AIBU to be annoyed and ask her to change it?
Totally up for your opinions.

How would ex react if you spoke to him about it?

Does it matter that much?

I can understand you being annoyed, but unless you are very upset then I doubt it's worth the hassle.

Yanbu to not like it. But is there really anything you can do if ex h has OK'd it.

If you have a good relationship with ex I would tell him I felt uncomfortable and ask him if it could he removed. If you can't do that, I can't offer advice as I am not sure if there is anything you can do.

I would speak to her not him as whatever I said to him would be shouted down if it were reasonable or otherwise. I think she'd listen and take it down but tbf there's plenty of stuff I don't like that she has posted ( mainly when she was having affair with exdh) but that doesn't mean INBU to ask her to remove IYSWIM. I have a Do who doesn't post pics of us as a family to Fb just because he thinks it's our private life.

I guess I'm not really upset I just think it's annoying and I think thoughtless too. I'd like to think she had more dignity and consideration but perhaps that is clouded by the circumstances of the start of their relationship ( everyone was horrified and she received abuse via FB.. Not from me of course) so it seems kind of a cross between tacky and rubbing it in my face.

That post should read DP not do.

Thanks for your responses; sounds like it's a bit of a suck-it-up thing probably.

If you personally do not put photos of your ds on Facebook, then I think you have all moral grounds to ask anybody, even exnew partners to take photos off.

However, if you put photos on Facebook, your argument will not stand up and may look like you are being petty.

I think yabu but can understand why you are unhappy. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask what her security settings are so access is limited to the photos.

Since she is obviously doing it to wind you up then no point in saying anything. Think Lottie is a bit harsh, you move on when you are ready!

Firstly, although it seems your relationship is amicable. I think it's odd that you are fb buddies with your ex's oh. Does anybody else put pics on fb of your ds? If they do, you shouldn't have a problem with her doing it too and your problem is with her, not the pics.

YANBU to be annoyed about it but there isn't really anything you can do without coming across badly. My ex's then-fiancée (now wife) had a photo of her and my son on facebook for ages, and actually has a whole photo album of stuff they've done while he's been with them. Sometimes it grates a little, but in the grand scheme of things it's not worth getting worked up about.

Think of it this way - from a kid's perspective, you can never have too many people love you.

Do you put photos of your DS on Facebook? Does your ex?

What pingu said really. You can be annoyed by it but pick you battles wisely. It's not that bad really if you also put pics of ds on Fb. If you get in another relationship and your Dp were to post a pic, your ex would have every right to ask them/you to take it down

I can see why you're annoyed however look at it this way; i have seen many children pushed out of their father's life because the new woman can't cope with the competition from the child (yes, the man is as much to blame there) - this is a sign (annoying and grating as it is) that she is embracing that relationship. She will be key to making sure DS has a relationship with his father. Sad, but often true. As Kenleeeee says - a child can never have enough people to love them.

We had this in reverse. My ex dh saw my current dh had a photo of him with dd and asked him to take it down.. we told him to get lost basically. If he wasn't snooping on fb he would never have known. Our profiles are set to private so all you could see is the photo. We then blocked him and everyone he had on his friends list sohe couldn't check up on us unless he went to the effort of making a new fb or asking someone he didn't know well to check.

I think you have to let this one go. And block her. Save yourself the aggro.

I can understand why you're annoyed but she's not necessarily doing it to annoy you. She could just genuinely consider your son a part of her life and has put the photo up with no malice intended.

If you don't put photos of your son up yourself then maybe have a word but otherwise I would let this one go.

at least she wants to be part of his life, as already said, unlike so many 'stepmothers'

thanks for the advice. I agree. it grates a bit but so what in the grand scheme. We're not friends on FB, but it's her profile pic and she came up as a 'friend suggestion.
Lottie I agree with you about putting up with seeing them together.. i am really pleased that she is active and interested in DS and can confirm that I have definitely "moved on" as you say, have a new DP with whom i'm expecting DC 2 and support plently of flexible contact with DS and both of them.
piglit you put it so well about children needing lots of people to love them.. it's often hard to accept as these people come along though.
brownie, fairy and Worra yes I put pics up and so does EXH but not DP, although i guess he's welcome to in this light.

Reflecting I think this has more to do with what I think of FB and how it should be used perhaps rather than her.. I don't think it's to annoy me at all just vv naive.. and TBSanta he's late 30's and there's soooo much more to the story than just that sadly.