to be offended that my brother doesn't want to come for xmas?

[CreamOfTomatoSoup]

He said he wants to spend it with a girl he's been seeing for about 2 months (not described as his girlfriend). He also doesn't want to drive to our house 'just for a meal' because it will cost him 50 pounds worth of petrol (he's welcome to stay for as long as he likes, not just come for a meal). He always seems to have plenty of money to spend on his car and his computers etc, but doesn't pay rent (lives with Dmum) and is using this as a reason to not come at xmas.
AIBU to be offended?

Using lack of money as a reason, not living with mum. Sorry.

His choice.

yabu. Its his Christmas as well. Let him spend it how he wants.

Yabu

Does he usually come to yours for christmas? Maybe he just doesn't really want to this year but feels he has to come up with some excuse as you would be upset if he just came out and said he would far rather stay at home in his pants watching bad tv and eating nutella out of the jar...

Just a thought.

YABU. His choice.

Sad yes, but don't be offended. Invite him to come at some point over Christmas/ new year instead. Don't take it personally, he's in 'love'!!! :)

YABU why should he do what you want him to do at xmas?

Why be offended? It is his life.. he sounds like he is happy with his own plans.

Well, you can't actually be unreasonable, because that it how you feel.

But it is his life and his choice and sometimes you have to tell yourself that you are giving them the gift of being happy that they are happy.

He wants to spend Christmas with his new girlfriend, what's wrong with that?
People grow up and move on.

It wouldn't offend me at all. It sounds like he is an adult and is doing his own thing. I have never understood people taking offense if a family member wants to have his/her own holiday experience.

Christmas doesn't revolve around you and your wants.

YABU

It's his choice what he does for Christmas. He may just not want to come. He's in a new relationship, but that doesn't mean that he's not head over heels in love. You should be happy that he's with someone he wants to share his Christmas with.

It's his Christmas. He should spend it how he wants to tbh.

Me and Dh have always spent Christmas together, even before we were married (although we were together as boyfriend/girlfriend). We do family stuff on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day.

Yeah, ok IABU. Not sure only 3 of us and a baby will get through all that turkey though!

get a smaller turkey! or do fun and delicious things with the leftovers. Pot pie is always a good use for that extra bird.

OOOh recipe please!

YABU. Maybe he just doesn't fancy spending xmas with you 2 and the baby. As a single guy, that probably sounds really boring. I always remember when I was about 20, student and childless. My sister had a toddler at the time, and on xmas eve day, we were having dinner, my niece was sleeping, and I was told to speak quietly in case I woke up the child. I thought it was ridiculous and after that, I didn't go home for xmas for a few years. It really stuck to my mind that xmas at home was utterly boring and totally dominated by my niece's routine and therefore not worth the effort. I am not saying I was right, but at that age, that's how I saw it.

It wouldn't offend me. But I am a bit at my Mum who says she's not coming to ours this Christmas because her dog is ill (chronic illness) and Mum thinks this might be her last Christmas so wants to stay with her........

Would you really want someone there who wants to be somewhere else? I wouldn't. You'll survive without him.

I wouldnt leave my pet either if it was very ill. ginmakesitallok (love that name btw!) And if it is most likely the dog's last christmas what's the problem? Your mum can come to you next christmas!

I can see why you might feel a bit put out by it but YABU.

My DB is coming to mine with his GF this year and I am quite shocked to be honest. They are hip and happening 20 somethings and they are coming to me to be surrounded by kids! I will love having him so I am happy.

My set up now would have been my worst nightmare a few years ago oh how I miss the days of going out and getting pissed on Christmas Eve and not getting up until lunch time