To think that colleagues shouldn't take the piss out of my packed lunch? (trivial)

[NairyHipples]

I've been on a diet for the last week, my packed lunch generally consists of chicken salad and lentils, or soup and seeded bread. My colleagues (all men) think it is hysterical that I eat lentils (whilst scoffing Pringles and quaffing Red Bull) so any put-downs would be much appreciated.

My twins current put down is: Shut up, nobody loves you!
Seems to work quite well!

NotSo I shall use 'Did you mean to be so rude' tomorrow

The simple but classic "Jog on" preceded by an overly long pronounced raspberry.

If you can, follow up with a slow and meaningful two fingers. And a satisfied belch.

Eat my roughage enhanced shorts

Binfull
They are used to me giving them 2 fingers, so I shall burp in their faces and reduce my fingers from two to one as long as the boss isn't looking

Dawn I would say that but one of my colleagues is autistic and would take it to heart

All men huh?

Well, I'd pass comment on who bought their packed lunch or why are they even interested in my packed lunched if they weren't petty school children.

''ah at least it healthy and not a heart attack in a tube like your pringles''

I would show them my lunch every day as soon as I arrived for work with a smile or grin.They would then get fed up after a while.
If you do put downs, they will know they have got to you,and do it for longer, or else find something else to wind you up about.

"Pull my finger" will get the point across.

It's the guys in my office who are on the weird diets at the moment.
Unfortunately it causes some of them bad breath!

I eat what I want at work and don't care what they think though. Sometimes it will be a pot noodle, sometimes some left over curry, sometimes beans on toast.

My od favourite for work is 'Ahh, you're sweet'.

Said like you'd say it to a really annoying 3 year old.
Seems to cover most bases.

od old

If I were you I'd launch into a long speech about how your Doctor has told you to eat this kind of thing because you had to take a stool sample to the surgery because you were crapping rabbit pellets and they were green but some were runny and the smell was something else and you get cramps and have terrible dreadful flatulence ...............and on and on until they feel too sick to eat their fucking Pringles and will definitely never raise the subject again!

'whats up? cant you cook lentils? Its not hard, the instructions are on the pack...Oh sorry you need to be able to read for that!'

I'd use the Queen's line
"how nice for you"
or
"eating this will leave me fit enough to dance on your grave"
or
"I'm staying hungry with my lunch and my job ambitions"

I'll keep thinking ....