to have told her (in essence, albeit politely) to keep her advice to herself?

[hatesponge]

Out shopping today I bumped into a friend/acquaintance. Chat ensued, about Christmas, how's the children, work, etc. Usual stuff.

Then onto me, and if I'm seeing anyone. So I truthfully say no, not much happening on that score, never mind, with a bit of a laugh, hoping to change the subject.

However, she then launches into a long discourse about how I'm not getting any younger (I was 40 this year), how all the decent men will be getting snapped up by women who are more pro-active, that I REALLY need to get myself out there properly and get looking because otherwise I'll be stuck on my own forever, and so on.

In the end I had to cut her off and say thanks, but I have made an effort and put myself out there hate that expression and the fact I haven't met anyone (yet) doesn't mean I'm not trying or doing anything wrong, it's just luck, and also that I'm not just prepared to settle for any bloke to avoid being on my own.

She looked at me a bit and said something along the lines of well, so long as YOU think you're doing the right thing when clearly she didn't believe a word i'd said and then fairly quickly ended the conversation.

I don't think I was BU, however she clearly did...

She sounds very rude, actually. Although I'm thinking she may also have hit a nerve with you?

Very rude on her part. I can't stand people who spout off advice like that when you haven't even asked for it. Good on you for telling her (politely) to feck off.

YANBU

It probably did hit a nerve - I have been single for a while, I would like not to be (hence making an effort, getting out there etc) I don't really want to be told I'm probably past it, or that it's my fault I haven't met anyone, especially as I've had this 'you need to do more' stuff from several people now (none of whom I've actually asked for advice/help!)

Tell her you're rethinking your sexuality, with a meaningful ogle. She sounds like you won't see her for dust.

And/or that you don't want a decent man, thanks, you want an indecent one.

Cheeky rude cow!

Focus on what YOU want OP. Forget about what other people say.

I do try. Just easier said than done sometimes :)

Glad the wisdom of MN is that I wasn't BU though!

Yanbu. This is a convo for a cup of tea and on your terms if you want it.

But, if you are one of my million mates who 'just can't find the right man' then I do sympathise with her. We genuinely want the best for our friends and see them screwing up a lot.

Sorry it hit a nerve.

Rude of her. I would have ceased the conversation as soon as you said 'Not much happening there'.

Tbh I don't understand why someone women feel the need to question other women about their lovelife, as if it is something to brag about or as if the woman's worth is tied up with their relationships. After my Mum divorced my Dad she never remarried or settled down again. This blew her friends' minds!

Mf - well, sometimes it's because hours of our lives go into listening to how much they want to find a man (and, no, I don't talk about my children back).

Most of the time I just want to scream 'Well, you do know you'll need to have sex with him if you want to marry him?!' Most of my single girls just don't really equate sex with getting married and having babies. But this could well be just my friends!

In future I would just interrupt with " let me just stop you there, I believe that advice is best given only when asked for and I'm not asking."

Agree without sumdaegirl,
She was RUDE!

Gimme - did you read my post? I agreed with the OP.

Next time tell her that you've got a great rampin rabbit and are quite satisfied at the moment.

Can you imagine her face!

"X met her man internet dating and they are getting married next month" Implication, if x can do it, even you anyone can.

"Surely there are some nice men at .... " Implication, you are picky and if you would just put up with any old shit like I have you too can bag one before you turn to dust .

YANBU Nod, smile and think about the far side of fuck.

Sundaegiril -that should have said agree WITH you! Bloody iPad! I agree with sumdaegirl it is a tea and biscuit chat on your terms.

Ah.

Say that you are waiting for some of the men too come back in circulation in their 40s when they get bored with their wives, then enquire after her oh.

have to say I'm loving some of the suggested responses, I am far too much of a coward to say anything like that in RL but the thought of doing so is making me