AIBU to think that this is a bit weird?

[NoWayNoHow]

I have a good friend - we don't live close to each other, so Skype and text as much as we can.

Recently, she has started sending birthday/Christmas/anniversary/etc cards signed "Friend's DH, friend, DC1 and DC2". Bearing in mind I've met her husband 3 times in 9 years and don't particularly like him I find this a little odd.

When I send cards to my friends, they're really from me to them. I put DH and DS's names on there after mine as it's polite, but my DH doesn't even know they're being sent, and I can't imagine that my friend's DH knows either. It's all in her handwriting, too.

AIBU to think that by putting her DH's name first, she's behaving as though she thinks he's more important than her?

I do that. I could do it the other way round but I do it without thinking. My dh is definitely not more important than me! Maybe you are just overthinking it.

YABU- she's part of a family. I always sign my cards from us all. What's the problem? are you being sent good wishes that you don't want? I think she sounds perfectly normal.

Since I got married and had kids, I come as a package so all my cards are signed love Slag, Mr Slag and the DCs xx

If someone said they didn't know my husband and kids well enough to receive good wishes form them, I would think they were being odd, not me.

As for putting her DH's name first, that's probably habit rather than subservience. Some couples are always called Bob and Sue, and some are always called Julie and Ron. It's just how it is.

YABU!

My friend always puts her DH's name first on cards. I don't!

If I'm writing cards to MIL, I put DH's name first, if the cards are to my family, I put my name first, then DH and the kids.

I always put my husband's name first. It's habit. And traditionally, it's the 'correct' order. Apparently. Or something. I think.

I always put dh's name first. It's not in order of importance at all, it just flows better! Nothing more than that.

I put my DH's name first as it comes before mine alphabetically.

YouOldSlag I'm not saying it's odd that she puts her family on the cards - I think most people do that, I know I certainly do. However, if it's a card to DH's friend, then he will put his name first, then mine and DS, and if it's to someone I know, then I do my name first, then DH and DS.

If she'd always put her H's name first, I don't think I'd notice it as much (although I'd still think it's a bit odd) but she's only starting doing it recently, bearing in mind we've know each other for 13 years, and she's been married for 7.

I did this early with a Christmas card to my friend. I have no idea why I did it, think it was because it was wondering what DH was getting up to at the time

Wow, I really had no idea I was so much in the minority!

Do people who put their H's name first - do you do that even when it's your own friends pre-partner? And why?

I put my DH name first and he puts mine first.
Same in conversation just convention so we don't come across as completely egocentric

I ALWAYS put my name first on cards if I have to write them. Even to dp's family, who have obviously known him a lot longer than they have known me. If he wants his name first he has to write the cards.

I think YANBU. To put your DH's name first when you're sending a card to your friend, whom he doesn't even know, is odd.

Just trying to work out what I'd think if someone send me a card with "Love from Slag" in it.

I do it in all cards. Just habit I suppose. Our names roll off the tongue better with his name first so that could be it. It really doesn't state anything about the roles in our marriage! One has to go first and I write his first. I think you are reading too much into this!

I always put my name first if I'm writing the cards - anyone who wants their name first can write the cards instead if they'd like to I think the 'writer' should put their name first - it just makes more sense to me.

I suppose if the names sounded odd that way around I'd do it the other way - but I've never given it much though and can't, right at this minute, think of any names that sound OK one way and not the other...

Well - maybe a few

June & Terry
Ben & Bill
Barney & Fred
Jerry & Tom

My old boss used to sign her xmas cards from her, her dh, her dd and her ds. I didnt think it was polite, i thought it was strange - i had never met her family

dexter yes, apparently I am! I genuinely had no idea it was so common to put someone else's name before you own when writing a card to someone you're friends with.

I just keep thinking that DH or I would never do that, eg if it was one of DH's friends that I don't really know, I don't think he'd dream of putting my name first. For me, it just seems strange.

Is this like who gets to be "person 1" in the census?

Trills only if the person standing at your door with the flip chart is an old mate from school!!

I'm no.1 in the census!

Nobody stands at your door - there's a form to fill in.

Last year when it happened there was a reasonably heated thread about people who filled in the forms and put their DHs as person 1.

ChippingIn made me think of it with anyone who wants their name first can write the cards instead if they'd like to

I'm also passenger 1 as I usually book the holidays.