Too much time in playpen for toddler?

[lexiss]

This morning DS 17 months woke up at 6am. I got up bf him and put him in the playpen. It is one of those extra large, hexagonal playpens.

Around 6.15 I gave him some water and changed his nappy. Then I went back to bed after making sure the playpen had only safe toys and the baby monitor was plugged in.

I fell asleep and woke up at 8.30. I went out to see DS and he was happily playing with this toys. He is very into small manipulative puzzles, shape boxes, stacking cups etc at the moment and he was busy playing with these.

He had been in the playpen for nearly 2.5 hours! Is this too long? Is there a problem that he plays happliy for this length of time by himself?

Most days I have a nap during the day for an hour or so and DS spends this time in the playpen but I have never left him for 2.5 hours before.

What do you think about this?

I mean wasn't Opps!

Right okay, I guess I do agree it's not neglect.

I think it's just the thought of them in another room on their own for that long and at 17 months could possibly climb the playpen.

I would probably think different if I was used to DS sleeping in another room, I am biased.

Oh okay. :)

I completely agree with what you say about first babies. I atm only have DS but before him I had never even held a baby. It is very hard to work out what you are meant to be doing! :)

Back to the thread...mummy jobs in the way :-)

I don't think that you can compare a cot to a playpen. A cot you sleep in, you wake and you get up and out of the cot. ( in my house anyway)

My god i must be a martyr, i always had mine with me at that age. I showered they showered, i cleaned they cleaned. I didn't feel the need to stimulate them every second but i wouldn't have just left them in another room. That's why you need a playpen to leave them alone for long periods of time?

I also worry about children that are so content to do so little. It's because mine are such active, interested children. I can't get my head around leaving them, they would have done dangerous stuff. A friends child could be left in her pram for long periods of time..she would always say how lucky she was, what a good child she was. I was really worried about her, developmentally she was miles behind my son. she just stared into space a lot :-(

Surely part of raising an 'active interested' individual is giving them chances to discover things for themselves and play alone?

If they follow you constantly then that could easily restrict their chances to do that

What will they discover stuck in a playpen, Sirzy? (I agree in principle, btw)

How to entertain themselves?

Being left to play with (checked) safe toys is not neglect, FFS. It might not be a parenting style you might want to copy (2.5 hours with zero interaction isn't great), but there is some real hysteria on here tonight, isn't there? Neglect??

I didn't have a playpen, they are just cages for small children. I made the house safe. Why do people need them?

Seriously? It's a safe space to deposit a child so you can have a shower, go to the loo etc in peace. I lived in a rented house so it was not possible to make it completely safe, therefore the very large playpen was required.

Jesus! The OP has pointed out that this has only happened ONCE!

I am so fed up with this 'live with being exhausted, that is your lot as a parent' bloody mantra which gets trotted out all the bloody time on MN. It isn't good for you.

My playpen is known as a baby cage, it keeps the wild animals in and also gives DS1 the chance to play with a toy or two without being chewed/thrown etc...

No I whole heartedly agree MInferior it is not good to be run down and exhausted and be a martyr to it. It is not good to survive on 2 hours sleep because you won't put the baby down/give it to someone else. you will not get a medal or thanks from a 18yr old saying thanks mum for never putting me in a playpen.

I got round the need for a playpen when they were little by shipping them off to nursery, bad mother that I am

And you may have done yourself lasting damage during that time too. I kind of want to be around when my children are older. My decent nights' sleep are purely for their benefit, obviously - I am a far-thinking slave to their needs

You don't need a play pen for a child to learn how to play on it's own.

2.5 hrs playing on their own - such a long time for a 17.5 month old.

I have 2 children that happily play on their own. I don't see what enforced isolation has to do with teaching that.

I had a friend who did CC and would put her baby in the cot at 7, he would babble to himself for an hour at night and an hour in the morning because he had learnt things weren't going to change. He wasn't out enough in the day and had long,long naps and as a result couldn't sleep at 7. Like the poster's friend above he was the most developmentally delayed- he was the last to crawl, the last to walk and he was socially awkward, sat on his mum's lap all the time even at 4. I don't think this was a coincidence.

Exactly you wouldn't want to be so tired you get haggered and they won't be seen with you!

Actually I went back to work when mine were four months old (and before you start with the pitchforks, I was self-employed without any maternity pay beyond SMP and my savings, and I earned more than Mr Inferior during that period) thus assuring plenty of Stimulation and Care for my PFB and her sister. But obviously that did involve terrible things like removing myself from my children's needy presence.

OP I understand where you are coming from as my DD is not a heavy sleeper and regularly wakes at night. Last night she woke up for two hours before wanting to go back to sleep.

What I do is have her cot bed next to my own. When she wakes up and I am still exhausted I put her in there with some large toys (no choking hazard) and rest next to her in bed. If she doesn't want to be in the cot bed, I put her right on my bed. This is even better as I can feel her moving around. I nap or rest but don't fully fall asleep. This way I can get a little bit more rest while still knowing she is OK.

The only thing I would say was wrong with what you did is that you weren't in the same room and you were actually sleeping.

I do close my eyes to rest, but I am a light sleeper so I know I wouldn't fall into a deep sleep.

But, you are not a monster so don't let anyone make you feel like you have done something reprehensible.

Sleep deprivation could lead to a much more unsafe environment for your child. If you are sleepy and groggy all the time after months of sleeplessness, you might not be on the ball enough to provide the safe environment your child needs all the time.

Well ancedotal evidence isn't reliable GB, both my dd were advanced and that was with a routine where they had there last bottle at 6 and I didn't need to do cc because they would just drop off. They were both sleeping 8 hrs straight at 4 and 6 weeks without sleeptraining.

Oh and by advanced I don't mean genius's I mean walking at 8 months social skills better then average and always top from nursery.