to wonder what would happen if you brought up a child w/o mirrors?

[quirrelquarrel]

Say if they didn't know what one was until 10?

I think it would be a ridiculous idea really, but it's very interesting to poke around the various reasons for why someone might choose to do that. What do you think? What do you think would change if the next generation of under 10s had no idea of what they looked like? In terms of realising that what you see and what others see are the same (well, we think!)......would this have a huge or negligible effect?

I would recommend reading 'The Birthday of the Infanta' by Oscar Wilde. Very good story on that very theme.

Oh really?

My best friend's an Oscar Wilde freak, so that'd be something good to discuss with him. Thanks!

Interesting. It breaks my heart because of some cruel gits my non fat ds thinks he's fat. He's 7. He had no concept of being fat until someone called him it. So no mirrors wouldn't have helped that!

I'm assuming this is very theoretical as how would you deal with reflections in windows?

How could you do it? You could have no mirrors in your home, but for them to never see a mirror you could never go on a shop, or a public toilet

Oh yeah, absolutely, it's theoretical. I mean it's impossible to think of a world without reflections, but just in a very narrow sense of imagining, as you said, theoretically.....

haha great minds Roly and Nancy

It's an interesting theory, isn't it?
Impossible but fascinating though.

MrsRichards WTAF?!?! He's 7 who tells a 7 year old they are fat???? Fucking disgraceful-can't believe how annoyed I actually feel about that
Anyway as for the mirrors thing-all a bit odd really as there are reflections everywhere.

Some little charmer at school. My boy is tall and built solid but not fat. He sucks his tummy in. I don't really know how to convince him otherwise

How would not having mirrors change anything - other people can still see and as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, those with sight would still have gravitas to those who are aesthetically pleasing. Even babies do that , and they aren't socially conditioned.

But you would never get to see the person who lives in it and copies you surely they would feel neglected

Was talking around this subject with friends the other week. a couple of us ( now adults) grew up in houses with out or almost without mirrors. One is now a very glamourous looking lady who cares deeply about her appearance and thinks her parents were wrong to deliberately not allow mirrors.
The other ( me) is not that fussed about her appearance ( I will be clean and tidy), I don't use make up, and I now have very few mirrors in my house. Not deliberate just a thing I( and my parents before me) don't "need".

Friends who grew up with mirrors find it hard to understand that I can live with out constantly checking what I look like. I know what I look like.

Growing up there was a mirror in the bathroom for my dad to shave with and a mirror near the front door at adult head height.

Now I have a mirror in the bathroom & a mirror at adult head height in the spare room because MiL whinged about not having one to use. There is little pocket mirror somewhere in DS's toy box.

Hmm yes but I think it's bizarre to think of one of our most reliable and easiest tools for self evaluation just not being there any more. Would it make us less narcissistic as a species? Probably not, but then, cavemen who weren't exposed to anywhere near the amount of reflection that we are today weren't as individualistic as we are now, were they?
I mean, what do mirrors mean for children? They're a constant reference point. I'm not such an idealist as to say, all the problems of beauty and the bliddy beauty myth and so forth would vanish away, but in terms of other more abstract consequences........yeah, interesting to consider.

I'm so sad that a 7 year old would see fit to call him fat!!

Please tell him solid is good-all luvly, luscious, fabulous & supremely gorgeous rugby players are 'well built' I know he will not appreciate this yet but he will get there.....

And I don't think that making snap judgements on someone by their appearance is necessarily ALL wrong- we react to people's reactions. If they make it clear we're happy looking, we'll probably subconsciously mould ourselves to be happy to match the image. Or is that bull really?

ah that came out all wrong, nevermind!
I'm tired

A man lived on a remote Scottish island in the 1800s and had never seen a mirror. He found one at a market one day, picked it up and looked in it. "Ah! My dear father. How well I remember him and he hasn't changed a bit." He bought the 'picture' took it home and hid it in a chest. His wife one day found it and picked it up. "Well its as I thought, he's tired of me! But I don't think much of his fancy woman. I never saw such an ugly bitch!"

I don't think mirrors mean much to my DS. he knows what they are, he sees them about the world. he just doesn't look in one every single time he walks into his bedroom. They don't mean much to me. Certainly not a "constant reference point".

Have you ever wondered why in a mirror things are reflected Left/ right but not top/ bottom ?

Mirrors help develop a sense of self and belonging in a child. Highly recommended for young children with self esteem issues.

I dont look in the mirror very often. Dh put them up. He is 6ft7. I am 5ft4.

what if there were never reflections and you never saw your own face?

By "constant reference point" I didn't really mean it in a literal way more in a- we know it's there way.

LOL nokidshere and Meringue, where's that from?

We have a bathroom mirror, and one in our bedroom (more a light thing, it's wrongly positioned to really look in it much!) where my daughter doesn't go.
At 4, one of her favourite things is to do shows on the dining room table where she can watch herself in the reflection (when it's dark) in the patio door.
She's not judging anything, just playing, exploring, having fun.

My son is besotted with himself. Apparently, i was the same. Bt six months he was pure vogueing every ime a camera came out. Made us realise we take too many photos of him. Dont want him to be totally narcissistic!

I suppose it would be interesting to investigate the sense of self that blind children have as opposed to seeing children. Of course with blind children the confounding factor would be that they've never seen any face, not just their own, but it would still be interesting to find out whether the fact that they don't have a sense of their own appearance affects how they think of themselves.