Enforcing basic manners?

[GreatBallsofFluff]

Trivial and boring I'm afraid.

Dd has a friend for a sleepover. Friend has not been to our house before. They're entertaining themselves well (I'm just letting them get on with it) but i am at the lack of basic manners from this girl. I asked if they wanted a drink earlie. Dd said "yes please" as she's been taught. Friend just said "ok" and the same with crisps later. I am kicking myself now for not doing as I would with dd which is standing my ground to start off with. Now I'm thinking 'do I bother from now?' Part of me thinks as long as dd keeps it up then why should i care but the other part thinks if I instill it on dd then I should with her friend too.

Both are 8 by the way so I haven't dealt with this in years since dd was about 4.

You don't need to teach or reinforce manners with her - its not your job.

You should tell her that in your house food in the kitchen is not help yourself. I guess it is different in her house.

People can great at pleases and thankyous, or a bit socially awkward, but it doesn't really mean much either way (other than that is what they were taught at home).

What matters ....Is she nice to your DD? Do they enjoy each others company? Is she kind when it really matters (...I know you probably can't tell from one meeting...) . I would take this over politeness.

I'll remember that as a quality to look for in a house when I next move

Yanbu!!! Definatly reinforce manners , anyone young or old shud have respect in someone else's house!! And the food things completely out of order!! Dd is 2.3 and make her say please and Thankyou at every opportunity ( if she hasnt already said it) she even says Thankyou to the bus driver ( despite being in pushchair!) manners never do anyone any harm, and tbf if a child felt intimidated in a strange house the would normally be more withdrawn not be cheeky enough to take food !!

Himalaya good point. Dd is having a great time and that's what matters

I second the thoughts about manners being important but less so than kindness and getting in well with dc. My dd's on off best friend is very polite but it's quite superficial. Always please and thank you but not really all that respectful beneath it.

Oh and I definitely think some children behave differently when in someone else's home. Assume that and remind-even if it might not be true.