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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell dd1 to dump her friend

17 replies

ScaryHairyMcSweary · 23/11/2012 21:15

We keep getting head lice, We have narrowed it down to a friend that dd1 only sees every two months when she is here staying with her Mum for the weekend.
We de louse every Sunday and we are clear for six out of the eight weeks. Then her friend comes to stay or dd stays at hers and a week later.. there they are. It is dd1, dd2 and me Sad
I don't want to stop the friendship but it is driving me mad. Dd1 is 13 and her friend is 12 so too old for me to say " let me check you" and even if I did the follow up wouldn't happen.
I love the girl like she was my own and have spoken to her GP'S who have her for the other time but they say she is clear Sad
I just can't afford to spend any more on lyclear or whatever so am only on the conditioner and comb method.
My 2 yr old is suffering too and I worry about her going to nursery, advice please I really do not want to stop contact but I am going mad with scratching.
I am also worried that it is not her and would cause heartache for no reason .. so stuck.

OP posts:
PomBearWithAnOFRS · 23/11/2012 21:20

Have a look at her hair - just say something like "oh X, can I just have a quick look please? I know it's awful but I'd hate to send you home with them if you've caught them - we think they might have come from nursery/school/somewhere innocuous for excuse purposes"
If she does have them, treat her alongside your DDs, or ban her from the house and your DD from her house. There isn't much else you can do :(
If it's not her, you'll have to try and track down where they are coming from.
Better for a kind friend's mum with her welfare at heart to check and if they're there, help get rid than for a kid at school to suddenly shout "URGHHH you got NITS" and ostracise her...

Original poster
ScaryHairyMcSweary · 23/11/2012 21:22

I know, but even if I got rid of the lice the eggs need getting a week later and she doesn't come to us for another five weeks at least?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 23/11/2012 21:25

Do you do all the usual, tie hair back in a plait, tea tree shampoo and conditioner to try to repulse the little bastards?

thebody · 23/11/2012 21:25

Her friend is twelve!! At that age she should be very aware of having head lice..

This is frankly unbelievable.. If you really think its from her then why havnt you approached her mom?

thebody · 23/11/2012 21:27

Oh and a good bit treatment kills lice and eggs. There's no waiting to hatch time.

Original poster
ScaryHairyMcSweary · 23/11/2012 21:27

Well I do, I send dd1 to hers with a plait and loads of hairspray.
Thy usually go to birthday parties where dd1 wants to have her hair down and "trendy"
I feel so awful Sad

OP posts:
bradywasmyfavouriteking · 23/11/2012 21:27

Speak to her mum?

CuriousMama · 23/11/2012 21:28

Oh I had this when mine were little. A 'friend' was quite laid back about her dcs having head lice. Mine got them off hers so I had to distance myself from them. Which was a shame.
I'm a bit surprised older dcs get their heads close enough but maybe girls are different? It's sad for the girl. Have you said to the motehr can you check dd?

CuriousMama · 23/11/2012 21:28

Mother*

Original poster
ScaryHairyMcSweary · 23/11/2012 21:32

thebody she doesn't live with her Mum and she is not approachable (one of the reasons she doesn't have custody) but have spoken to her gp's who have custody and they say she is clear. She may be, I could be at fault here.

OP posts:
Original poster
ScaryHairyMcSweary · 23/11/2012 21:36

There heads get close because they share a bed on sleepovers when she is here or there.
I think I will do as suggested by pombear and just treat her with an all in one treatment when she is here.
I'll just say that the little un came back from nursery with them.

OP posts:
thebody · 23/11/2012 21:45

Oh bless her, yes that sounds a great plan. How embarrassing for her though to have this at 12.

Good job she has you in her life tbh as you may be needed to help her in greater challenges in the future.

If her GPS can't recognise nits then how will they help her through puberty?

You could be really important to her op.

Original poster
ScaryHairyMcSweary · 23/11/2012 22:11

Thanks thebody I have already given her dd1's old bras as my dd is big busted advanced.
Her Grandma thinks bras are not needed until you are 15.
The poor girl has had an awful start and I did look into fostering her but while her blood family can offer a decent home it is not an option Sad

OP posts:
helpyourself · 23/11/2012 22:21

Don't discourage the friendship. Sad
You can get lyclear on prescription.

Original poster
ScaryHairyMcSweary · 23/11/2012 22:27

Thank you helpyourself I didn't know that.
I am in Wales so it would be free, as you can tell it would be the last resort.

OP posts:
CaliforniaLeaving · 23/11/2012 22:34

Once your Dd is clear, put tea tree oil in her shampoo and make sure you do some tight plaits (and hairspray like someone else said) before she plays with her. It has ran rampant through the school here and (fingers crossed) we have managed to keep it away.

thebody · 23/11/2012 22:38

Well it's a crossroads isn't it.

Totally understand if you not want your dd to be exposed to this? But think you seem a really lovely person so I think you will keep up the friendship ( amongst others of course) and be there for this kid,,

Good on you op

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