AIBU mummy friends

[TickleFlower]

I would really like some mummy friends but can't seem to meet anyone. Have tried posting on boards but no luck. I was in hospital and then ill so missed my postnatal group, where I think I would've made friends :(

Where are you? I know how tough it is when you can't join in as I was also ill after dd2 was born so missed out on nct group was meant to be in.

There are drop in groups, playgroups etc- I know people have got to know other mums just by bumping into them. Maybe if you can be brave and get out to some baby groups you could meet some other mums. Can your hv help with tips?

Are you SAHM? Could you go to baby/toddler groups?

Why do you want 'mummy friends'

Friendships should be based on personalities. Not the fact that you happen to have both reproduced.

I have 1 mummy friend. I was friends with her for 6 years before she had her first around the same time I had my second.

is it friends you are looking for does it have to be 'mummy friends'?

Can you find the local Children's Centre (SureStart) and take your baby to some groups? You'll no doubt meet some mums with similar aged children and there are so many support groups ran in the centre. They also may know of any other mums and baby groups you could go to.

Good luck :)

I already go to soft play and swimming but haven't managed to meet up with anyone from them.

It would be nice to go to park with someone rather than just by myself with DD

Go to playgroups looking friendly and relaxed. If you see someone you like the look of go and chat them up. If they rebuff you move on eventually you will find someone you click with then you can meet their friends you are away. Its like looking for a boyfriend in your twenties.

I met my best mum friend in a cafe, another at the 6 week hearing test and the rest I pulled at a big playgroup (to which none of us have been for years).

Soft play and swimming aren't great for meeting people because people tend to go there in groups and it's hard to break into that. Baby/toddler groups are your best bet I think. I moved when DS was under 1 and in the year since I've made a load of great friends through the local group.

I also met my best friend at a group... we havent been back since too busy gossipping over coffee and cake

I'm only with my DD on Thursdays and Fridays when there aren't many groups on.

I think I just want a friend with similar ages baby that we can chat about

Nora although I agree that mummy friends is an annoying phrase, making friends who are also on maternity leave and thus free to meet up and break the tedium of caring for a baby are very useful. Not everyone is lucky enough to know people in the same area with a baby of the same age - I certainly didn't first time round, and second time round nearly all my daytime friends will be former mummy friends.

Anyhoo, to answer question, second asking HV about local baby groups. If baby's tiny, a breastfeeding cafe might be a good idea, they're often quite social as well as clinic-based. Libraries usually have some kind of nursery rhyme session, and children's library sections often function as ad hoc playgroups.

If you try baby groups, be aware that the first couple of times you go, you're unlikely to make much headway in the friendmaking stakes. But persevere - eventually people will remember your names and what seemed like cliques will reveal themselves as just fellow mums you haven't chatted to yet (well, mainly )

Ah, x posted - clearly if you're only off Thursday/Friday then your DC is no longer a tiny.

There's also the Mumsnet local boards, you could try posting there? (I have heard that netmums is quite good for that too, shhh ...)

Tried netmums and on here, no luck!!

No she's 15months :)

toddler groups. I found the small village ones easier to make friends.
I didn't really have any good, reliable mummy friends to do stuff with till ds started nursery at 3 - sorry not much help to you now, but we now do loads of stuff with the other mums.
NCT groups are usually really good for making friends - there's an nct toddler group in our town. Or you could volunteer with the NCT to help out at events and meet people that way?

Where abouts are you?

Norwich

TickleFlower - are you in a town or rural? I do think it's hard to make friends in that 45mins/1hr session these groups are on, even if you go regularly. There are bound to be lovely mums but I think making that extra ask of "would you like to meet up for coffee?" takes courage!

I found it much like being the new girl at school. First time round we did an NCT class (tiny but lovely group) but since then, two have moved away and others have gone back to work. Second time round the NCT didn't do refresher classes in my area so I felt just like TickleFlower.

Agree with Tempus, it's the being available as you are on maternity leave thing. Finding one or two people that you could go for a walk in the park with to stop you rocking back and forth in a darkened room is so important.

Apart from knowing about Sure start centres, NCT bumps,babies and toddlers group, our HV provided a list of groups in the area (those in church halls etc) that were running throughout the week. V helpful, as is finding out from other mums what things they go to. Hell, I even accosted a woman gardening 3 doors up from me and asked her if she had a new baby as I'd seen one of those red widget feeding pillows in her bay window (she must have thought I was nuts, I thought I was nuts)! We now have a good chat when we are both free.

Good luck!

In that case I can help you

There's a great norwich mn group on fb
Full of lovely people who often meet up

Just had a look and I can't link as an on phone but if you search mn Norwich meet up on fb you'll find it

Ask your HV if she knows of any other Mums locally, who might be interested in a coffee, or a trip to the park together - you never know

I was lucky enough to find a great wee post-natal exercise class at the local sportscentre- that's where all my "mummy friends" came from, and I'm still friends with a couple of them nearly 9 years later. They were invaluable in the early years, as I was one of the first of my friends to have children, and having people at the same lifestage was a godsend.

I did feel really self-concious at first, and like I was dating again, in a wierd way! But I soon discovered there were lots of other mums feeling the same, and as our group grew we always invited in and welcomed newcomers, so be brave! And good luck

Arghh can't find facebook page. Only one group that has only 2 people on it

Ill get the info to you somehow
If all else fails ill get on the pc tomorrow

Ah it's private I'll let an admin know and someone will pm you

Look for groups that are on weekly as you will get the same people there and it is easier to get to know them. It can be scary but you have to try. If there are free play sessions it is easier as the activities are less structured and you can chat over a cuppa as opposed to some groups which are leader led with no chat time till after and then people want to go home.
I have been really lucky with my surestart centre and love having some mummy friends as you are in the same boat and they 'get you' when you are tired or covered in weetabix. Hopefully there will be some nice freindly people who introduce themselves to you and make you feel welcome. Good luck