To think that having manners does not mean being a pretentious git?

[SlightlySuperiorPeasant]

To me, having good manners means doing your best to put other people at ease and to be polite in difficult situations.

Apparently, some people think that having good manners is based completely on knowing all the social rules that define a social class - which fork to use, what to talk about/not talk about at dinner, which buttons to do up etc. - and sneer at people who try their best but "aren't quite our sort".

AIBU to think that sneery types are mannerless gits?

Agree that manners and etiquette are two very different things.

In my experience, the people with the most class, and often (but not always) the most money, are the ones that display both good manners and good etiquette. The people that sneer at others tend to be the ones who spend their lives wishing they had more money, more social standing and kissing the arses of those who do have more.

People who are comfortable and confident with themselves do not feel the need to sneer at others.

Eti-what now?

if you have got manners you have got class imo.

Can I ask some etiquette questions please?
Should curry and/or other dishes be eaten with just a fork?
When should napkins be supplied?
Can you remind me please, which words should be used. napkins/serviettes/soemthing else. tiolet,lavatory/something else lounge/sitting room/living room settee/sofa/something else. Thanks.

Seeker you are very wise!

amillionyears no idea about the curry question. Personally, napkins when it's a bit more formal eg sunday lunch, dinner party etc (but that's just me).
Napkins
Loo
Drawing room (or sitting room)
Sofa

But I would only use these in company where it is appropriate and not likely to make others uncomfortable or me look like a git. If everyone else is talking about the lounge/settee then I would use those. Which is where, I suppose, manners and etiquette overlap....

Curry, like asparagus, should properly be eaten with the fingers. The tips of the fingers of the right hand to be very specific!

ha or ah

amillionyears a good rule of thumb is to avoid the word that looks French e.g. serviette, toilet, lounge, settee.

I think you may be having a joke

Why? It's a good rule!

Sorry. I thought you may have read another thread of mine a few days ago.

Apologies.

Yes, thank you, I will bear that in mind from now on.

People who sneer are not generally well mannered. I think it goes deeper than that though ime usually the people who sneer are the people who think they are better than others but are generally so pig thick that they don't realise how much of the etiquette stuff they get wrong. Ask them for some sugar and they will probably tell you they aint got none.

Ooo amillion I have no idea what you're talking about but I'm dying to know! Apologies if you're French

:o married

One should use a fork when it is appropriate to use a fork alone, so when no cutting is required. Eating curry with just a fork is fine providing no knife is ever involved.

Please could I ask what the correct reply to, "How do you do?" is?
This greeting always throws me, so I normally offer my friendliest grin in response!

I can't remember the last time anyone said that. But I suppose "very pleased to meet you"

'how do you do' it's a salutation, not a question.

Sorry - in case I am not clear; the response is 'how do you do' as well as the question.

the correct reply is 'how do you do'

Or: "How do you do what?"

If anyone under 80 said it to me I think I might be inclined to have an inward sneer

I honestly don't think anyone has ever said it to me....

Arf at Slightly

So, would one then proceed with "Pleased to meet you" or "Nice to see you again" style greetings?

hoping to meet someone who says this now

no I don't think so.....i think that's it, ever so brusque.

A vet said it to me once when he came to horse yard.... and I thought it was the start of a question regarding the horse!