to let my five year old still sleep in my bed, or are the 'eyebrow raisers' BU?

[mummytowillow]

There are just the two of us in our house, my daughter is five and loves sleeping in my bed.

She went through a stage where she went to sleep in my bed and stayed there all night. I've managed to get her to go to sleep in her bed, but by about 1am she's sneaked into my bed. Sometimes I notice, sometimes I just wake in the morning and she's there!

To be honest, I quite like it, were very close and rarely spend time away from each other apart from work and school. I have a king size bed so no space issues and she doesn't wriggle and sleeps all night.

BUT people who find this out raise their eyebrows and say its not normal?

My mum is very vocal about it, thinks it wrong, she'll get used to it, she's not a baby blah blah blah. I'm single, no boyfriends so that's not a problem, so who is being unreasonable, me, her or the 'eyebrow raisers'.

And if I need to get her out of the habit, how on earth do I do it. Its just easy to let her get in when its 1am, cold and I'm cosy and warm!

my kids go to bed when they are tired,since they started school and nursery thats been anytime between 6 and 9 o clock,depending on what theyve been doing.ive never liked the idea of bedtimes,im not always tired at the same time every night so why would they be.

flow4 hey had a lot of children who were tired at school so they decided the parents needed a sleep expert to help them out. Someone is making money (why is there no cynical face?)

The whole bed sharing issue is nobody's business but your own. There is no right or wrong on this issue. She won't be in your bed when she is 15 - it is just a few years.

At least you have got her to start the night off in her own bed and that is quite a big step if she is used to sleeping with you. Well done on that.

If you had a partner and he didn't like it then you would need to come to an arrangement between yourselves. It may be a problem if you start a relationship but until then, if you enjoy it too, why worry?

There's nothing wrong with it at all.

It's not a problem as long as you and your DD are happy. Sod what other people think.

I had to stop DS (17month old) habit as he would kick and wriggle loads and try to turf his daddy out the bed. One of them had to go shame DP couldn't just take the hint and bugger off to the sofa as DS is so lovely and cuddly so DS was back in his cot not to long ago. In all fairness, the bed is mine and DPs and he deserves some decent shut eye of a night which he wasn't getting with our little boy between us.

As a side note, DP's aunt was still finding her DS was getting into bed next to her in the night up until 2 years ago and the boy is now 16! I'm not judging but I do find that weird. And would still find it weird if it was a DD btw

in japan they bedshare until they go to university,traditionally.

stillsmarting, it's a shame they didn't bring in a sleep expert to suggest schools should start later! At least the teens!

takingbackmonday. Hugs. X

It is the best thing ever.
DS's new bed is coming this week, he's going to leave me... Wail...

Would much rather sleep with him than dh!

My son regularly came into our bed until he was 10. It didn't bother us, except that we were worried he'd never stop. Now he's 13 and we have to beg him to get in.

He refuses.

My 11 yo DD still sleeps in my bed every night! Im single and she has her own room but we just like to be together. My mother is horrified so we dont admit to it any more. I know one day she wont want to be there but until then we are happy. It also means only one set of bedding to wash which has to be a bonus!

My 9 DD still co-sleeps with me but I am a LP, tho with a partner who is very understanding resigned to not being able to sleep over . She has slept with me ever since her dad left when she was 18months old and my lovely dad (who I miss every single day) stayed with me for a week as I was so distraught.

When I couldn't sleep because I was so upset, he told me to climb into bed with her and hold her little chubby hand and things wouldn't seem soooo bad. He was right - I love hearing her gently snore, kissing her ears and neck + she is so cute asleep (unlike when she is awake!)

I blame it all on her grandad, it was his idea!!

I love this thread! :)

So much love and happiness... :)

How could anyone other than some miserable twisted killjoy ever think that co-sleeping with your child could be 'wrong'?!

Thanks for the amazing replies, she's all tucked up in my bed now and were going to carry on just hope she's not still doing it when she's 15!

As a side note, DP's aunt was still finding her DS was getting into bed next to her in the night up until 2 years ago and the boy is now 16

Years ago, before I had my DD, my parents had friends whose son used to sleep with his mum at the age of about 11 (dad worked nights). I remember having a conversation with my mum about it and thinking it was very odd and a bit creepy tbh. Wouldn't bat an eyelid at it now I have my own child!

Dd slept with me last night and DH got her room. Unfortunately she has taken to sleeping halfway down the bed recently and I kept waking up freezing as she was taking the duvet with her.

Many a night I go to bed and 'find' my ds (10) asleep there. As he is an octopus as well as a furnace, it is not unusual for me to give up and go to his bed instead. But he seems to sleep a heck of a lot better in my bed (and yes, it doesn't matter if my bed is a single, double or a sheet on the floor, he prefers my bed to his own) so I figure what the heck.

Mine are ds16 and dd13. Doesnt stop them sneaking into bed when DP is away. Its not BU. Theyre still my babies!

(Just an aside... Does anyone know... How does a thread become a 'classic'? Co-sleeping is so stigmatised, especially with older children, but this thread is FULL of lovely stories from scores and scores of parents who do it. :) It might provide real help and reassurance to many parents in future, so it seems to me worth keeping :) )

Do you know, I wasted 5 years of my life having broken nights sleep. Trying to get my DCs to stay in their beds. I lost count of how many nights I laid on the floor in DDs room, holding her hand through the cot, exhausted, just praying for a few hours sleep.

There is such a stigma about getting children to stay in their beds and sleep through the night. I had 3 DCs and two of them were poor sleepers (1st was a doddle!) some nights it was like musical beds in our house, I never knew where I would wake up.

I wish I had known, and not felt such a failure, that all they wanted was to snuggle up with me. I could have saved us all so much stress and tiredness. Another night last night, where Dd came into our room, about 2 am and patted my face. I just sat up, let her climb in, and went back to sleep.

She is my last DC at home. I will let her as long as she wants to and I will treasure every minute of it.

Good call flow 4 !

I don't really know the proper way to go about getting a thread in classics but if I've anything at all to say to MNHQ I tend to report my own post - they seem very forgiving if this is not the proper protocol and always get back to me.

Actually I think the proper way could be to start a thread in "site stuff" or write them an email ?

But my way seems handy and works well enough for me !!

And YY - so many lovely and reassuring stories on here for folks to read if they're getting any "eyebrow raisers"

When XH left at Easter DD was quite upset and slept with me for a while. Then she went back to her own bed, but ended up back in mine again for the past few months...

I have got her back in to her own bed, as I do think that she should sleep there and also I hope to meet somebody at some point and don't want to kick her out when a new man appears as I feel she would be hurt by that...

So now she goes to sleep in her own bed every evening, but sometimes does get up and get in with me in the early hours and its not a problem..

I just wanted to comfort my child the best I could after her "daddy" walked out on her.

I've found this :) www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/394563-nominations-for-inclusion-in-mumsnet-classics/AllOnOnePage

Funnily enough, when DH went away on Thursday, DD was a bit about sleeping in the big bed now she's grown up and 14 and I felt a bit sad. The awful Noro virus kicked in on Friday at 5pm. She slunk in after 20 minutes in her bed and clung to me for most of the night, waking me at least every 30 minutes to say she wanted to die and asking for helpl. Last night she slept much better but still clung on a bit. Tonight she's going back to her bed.

DH has called and said he will sleep in the spare room until he's sure that all the germs are gone and I'm not infectious and about to go down with it .

ignore anyone who says you shouldn't.
snuggle in with your daughter. these are the best years of your life.
my 'snuggled' daughter is now 30, living round the corner with her husband and baby. we are in daily contact and miss each other if we don't speak.
she reminded me the other day that we had 'sorted for Es and whiz' on her hifi as our alarm, so she must have been 12 or 13 and still snuggling. i love her. you love your daughter. snuggle and let the world think whatever it likes!

My ds (nearly 10) still comes into my bed sometimes. He got in last week to say good night and fell asleep

Camhs dissaproved though, and told ds that he wasn't allowed to sleep with me ever again

I think that as a now and again thing, it's fine.