or was the car that honked at me?

[GotMyGoat]

I just popped out to the shops with dd, who was in her pushchair. Horribly dark, windy and rainy so I was rushing

There's a fairly small crossroads - so think american suburb, no lights or pedestrian crossings , that we have to cross to get to the shops, very close to our house

The roads were like this

a
b c
d

Me and dd were standing to the right of road d, roads b, c and d were empty but there was a small queue of cars in road a, the first car of which was standing still but indicating to go into b (obviously checking that it was clear to go). Cars never move quickly here, and it is a tricky turning so its always slow slow traffic.

So I stepped into the road to quickly cross with dd, knowing that we had time to cross as the first car hadn't even turned into b yet.

I was 3/4s of the way across the small road (d) when suddenly a car honked at me and was right next me, I turned - bewildered- and the lady in the car was shouting at me, I gestured back to road a saying 'but you were over there!' but I doubt she heard me.

I almost burst into tears, which is why i've written this very long aibu.

I just talked to DH about it and what I think must have happened is that either the first car in the queue changed its mind and suddenly went for d, and had not seen me, or that the second car in the queue had gone straight forward after the first car had turned, and had not seen me untill the honk.

Because I was already 3/4s into the road, I don't think it can be my fault - the car should have made sure the road was clear before revving forward, and me and dd with pushchair would have been pretty obvious!

but I don't drive, and I was rushing as it was wet and horrid - so aibu?

Not sure from what you have said but it pays to be extra cautious in the wet & dark!!

I'm struggling to picture it, but I'm learning to drive and it doesn't sound reasonable to me, you should always give way to pedestrians already crossing and it's a dodgy use of the horn I think ?

I'm not completely sure I follow your outline of events (but then my brain's a bit creaky atm), but as far as I am aware, a car/road user should never turn into a road when a pedestrian is crossing...

Don't cross so close to turnings.

In the dark and wet, the driver will be concentrating on the speed and distance of other cars. You took a big risk.

Oh no! My crossroads picture didn't work sorry of course its difficult to picture,

its meant to look like a cross, so a and d are opposite, and b and c are opposite.

sorry

I suppose, because its right next to where we live we are very used to crossing where we do - so maybe we should cross further up the road. That's a valid point.

I always thought it was safer to cross where we do as we can see if cars are suddenly going to come from round the corner - and they can see us.

Not sure I can work out what happened there but I always assume that drivers have not seen me if I am crossing and if I am driving I assume that pedestrians have not seen me either. Only go if it is safe to do so.

What is the horn for?

To warn others that you are there, such as people crossing!

That comes across wrong - I was referring to the fact that you didn't notice the car approaching until it was close to you.

don't cross on a junction.

the horn was to say 'helloooo im here' or 'get out of my way' in this case!

Hmm... maybe I should have waited till the opposite road was empty, I was keen to take the opportunity of a driver turning off so we could get out of the rain.

Horrible thinking that I could have put dd at risk, so prefer to think it was the drivers fault. Maybe i'll accept 10% of the blame for not taking my time.

But they must have started moving again, after I had stepped into the road.

Twitchytail this is good advice:

Don't trust the way cars are indicating. If there is a car there, always assume it might come towards you.

Still hard to work out exactly what was going on, even with your little map thing. I think you're right, it's most likely that she was no.2 in the queue and couldn't see you until she was almost on top of you. The shouting and arm-waving may well have been as much fear as anger, rather in the same way as we have to fight the urge to shout at toddlers when we lose sight of them and are convinced for a few seconds they've been abducted/broken their neck/set light to themselves, before they appear from behind a bush in the garden IYSWIM.

She may have been going too fast for the conditions, but sadly far too many drivers do. When it's wet and windy and dark, it's safest to assume no driver can see you. In fact, even in bright sunshine, assume no driver has seen you. Might be too busy looking at the satnav, chatting on the mobile, arguing with a child in the back seat...

Not going to say YANBU OR YABU, I can see both points of view.

15 xposts!

Forgot to say, my d grandad was stone deaf and routinely went for miles with indicators still blinking away from the last turning he'd made.

You had right of way not her as the pedestrian if you had already started to cross. She was probably rushed past other car and didn't check for people on foot. I would cross further from junction in future though because being right doesn't stop you getting hurt.

I think I might join you on the fence too imperial, I can see that I could have done things to make it safer, just as the driver could have done. And yes, although her reaction was very threatening, I can understand it if it was done out of fear.

What a boring aibu. Should I shout and scream a bit to make it more exciting?

If you are in America, it's expected that you cross at the corners and stay within the white lines (crosswalks) if there are none then it's a really small road and you're still supposed to cross at the corners. It's how they teach the kids in school and you have right of way as pedestrian. So honking lady was wrong and you were in the right.
I hate that we have no street lights, no pavements, no pedestrian crossings around us.

You were right but her car is bigger. Sounds like it gave you a scare, and maybe her, altho the horn beeping makes it more likely she was an arse and therefore also either can't use indicators correctly or doesn't stop to look before crossing roads.

You were right but her car is bigger. Sounds like it gave you a scare, and maybe her, altho the horn beeping makes it more likely she was an arse and therefore also either can't use indicators correctly or doesn't stop to look before crossing roads.

Well it's very simple if you were in the UK - pedestrians have right of way at ALL times.

So if you were in the road, she would have to wait.

No idea what the situation is in the US though.