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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that school is not optional?

39 replies

StuntNun · 22/11/2012 17:01

I have been fretting about this for a week so I thought an AIBU would clear things up for me. I had a baby last Thursday night and my in laws very kindly looked after my DSs aged 9 and 6 while DH and I were at the hospital. My MIL picked them up from school on Thursday at 1 p.m. and my DH was home late Friday morning so he was available to have the kids back and bring them up to the hospital after school to visit me and their new baby brother.

Okay here's the AIBU bit: my in laws didn't take the kids to school on Friday. They live about ten miles away from the school so I had said to MIL not to worry if they were a bit late as the school would understand. But I can't believe they didn't take them at all. Poor DS2 missed out on computer club which he had been looking forward to. I have never kept my kids off school unless they were sick apart from one day for my SIL's wedding which was on a weekday.

So AIBU to think that it isn't acceptable to keep your grandchildren off school because you can't be bothered to take them? Obviously I appreciate them looking after the kids but it never crossed my mind that thy wouldn't take them to school.

OP posts:
PandaNot · 22/11/2012 17:03

Actually in the circumstances I really wouldn't be bothered about one day. Can't imagine that school will be either.

missymoomoomee · 22/11/2012 17:05

YAB a bit U. It was one day, they probably wanted to make a bit of a fuss of them.

Congratulations btw :)

LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake · 22/11/2012 17:05

I agree with you, it would never cross my mind that you would have to say....er, take them to school Confused

Justforlaughs · 22/11/2012 17:05

As long as the children had a good day with their grandparents I wouldn't worry about it. The school won't. Congratulations! Thanks

Original poster
StuntNun · 22/11/2012 17:07

I realise it will give the other kids a chance to catch up Grin so I'm not bothered about the effect on the kids, but it seems so odd to me that they didn't take them to school. I can't imagine them letting their own kids skive off for a day. It's not like they could come up to the hospital because visiting hours didn't start until 3 p.m.

OP posts:
elliejjtiny · 22/11/2012 17:12

YANBU. My inlaws live 30 miles away from us and they took DS1 to school when they looked after him and DS2 when I was having DS3.

Thisisaeuphemism · 22/11/2012 17:12

I would be pissed off. Really.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 22/11/2012 17:14

I'd be pissed off too.

CaliforniaLeaving · 22/11/2012 17:15

It's one day I'd drop it.
It's the day their little brother or sister was born. Maybe they thought Dh was taking them in to visit during school hours so hung onto them.

baskingseals · 22/11/2012 17:16

it really wouldn't bother me.

congratulations Grin

MarianForrester · 22/11/2012 17:18

I think YABU. It's one day and lovely for the children to have a day with GPs with all the excitement of a baby sibling.

Plenty of days for school Smile Congratulations btw

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 22/11/2012 17:18

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Congratulations Thanks

Feminine · 22/11/2012 17:19

Wouldn't bother me.

Plus, you said you have done it yourself too.

ISingSoprano · 22/11/2012 17:19

I would be a bit peeved but probably wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Just put it down to experience and next time make it clear that they are going to school. Congratulations Smile

maybenow · 22/11/2012 17:21

Of course it's not reasonable if it's because 'you can't be bothered to take them' and they could have managed to take them BUT given the occassion i think it's forgiveable (getting a new sibling is a lot bigger occassion than an aunt's wedding!).

autumnlights12 · 22/11/2012 17:26

you're in the middle of newborn babydom and have the time to fret over something as trivial as this? For what it's worth, when I gave birth to dd3 we let dd1 and dd2 have the next day off school as a treat so they could see her and feel included in everything.

ArkadyRose · 22/11/2012 17:27

YANBU. The school certainly won't consider it optional and will take a pretty dim view of an unauthorised absence - and after all, it's not the grandparents who will have to make the explanations to the school afterwards.

BuddyTheChristmasElf · 22/11/2012 17:27

YANBU, it lovely to have a new sibling but its also a big upheaval, so IMO its nice for older DCs to have the stability of school while home goes a bit mad for a while iYKWIM

I wouldn't have thought you'd have to spell it out, and the fact that you discussed lateness it's surely implied! if they wanted a day off with them they could have asked but they didn't they let you believe they would be in school then held them out behind your back

toofattorun · 22/11/2012 17:31

YANBU. They should have taken them to school but its not the end of the world for one day. congratulations btw.

CinnabarRed · 22/11/2012 17:33

I wonder if the GPs thought it would be nice for their DGSs to have some special attention, given that the new arrival (congratulations, BTW) will inevitably take up big chunks of your time for the next few weeks?

I also agree that if the GPs didn't take your DSs because they couldn't be bothered then they're out of order but don't discount the possibility that they didn't take them for some completely different reason, based on the very best of intentions.

autumnlights12 · 22/11/2012 17:34

The school would take a dim view? Get real! Both my dd's were at different schools when I had dd3 and both schools said the same thing when I phoned to say they wouldn't be coming in the day after. That they understood and would expect them to be at home under the circumstances!

simplesusan · 22/11/2012 17:38

My inlaws wouldn't have taken them either if that helps!

Thisisaeuphemism · 22/11/2012 17:40

But the kids weren't with the new baby but were with the gps who for some reason failed to tell the op they weren't planning to take them to school.

DilysPrice · 22/11/2012 17:40

YANBU, but don't go overboard.

blisterpack · 22/11/2012 17:44

I would have preferred their way. It was just one day, and it would have been nice to have been made a fuss of. since it's inevitable that they'd be ignored a bit in the next few weeks, or maybe that's just me

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