To feel peeved when men look hotter than their wives / girlfriends?

[TessBob]

And I will tell you for why.... because for every bloke that looks gorgeously groomed and well put-together there is a partner who is clearly having to do 99% of the prep to leave the house all on her own.

Do you know what I mean? My boyf is a very nice man, and great with the children (surely that should be an acronym on here, no? GWTC). But I can't tell you how naffed off I feel whenever we go out and he looks hot and I'm so not. Which is every single sodding time.

I'm not shallow, but my self-esteem could do with a boost, and looking like the sad f**er next to the handsome bloke is not a winning combination.

I see it in so many situations, where dads look untouched by parenthood - still holding it together, doing their hair, shaving or beard-trimming, decent clothes on, still looking like their pre-kids selves, and the women look sartorially shocked, and as though they only had time, once the kids were all packed up and in the car, to chuck on a Ken Dodd wig and bite their own lips to get some colour up.

It naffs me off! It is all the evidence you need that one partner is doing the bulk of the work. Am I wrong?!?

I had to laugh at your post - Ken Dodd wig

Why not hand the kids over to him and get ready? Am I missing something? My DH is a total scruffbag (but very handsome with it - sort of hobo chic) and I look like a bag of spanners but couldn't care less.

god no idea

i am married to a man who thinks he is dressed up if he is wearing chinos with his rugby shirt rather than jeans and who thinks that if a jumper only has food from one meal spilt on it, then it's clean

Gymboywalton I think you are married to my dh! I have to secretly charity bag his clothes when he's not looking and then pretend that their disappearance is a mystery. If a dad can look mumsy then he does.

Gymboy are we married to the same man?! Dh can be a bit of a scruff but he does do heaps round the house and with the dc's so maybe that's why and not because he's a lazy old git

You probably look a lot better than you realise.

Anyway, tell him he has to be ready by a particular time cos you need some time to get ready to go out and he's going to look after the kids while you do. That should make him look a bit shitter too so everybody's happy.

Funnily enough I did notice a couple in clarks the other day. Dad and son looked like they had stepped out of a gap advert and poor mum well she looked like me tired, harassed ....

I find this is rarely the case. Most of my friends are really attractive and for the most part their husbands are not at the same level they've just let themselves go.

Although it was funny cause dad through a strop because she said no to his choices of shoes for their ds. He huffed off saying "you ask me for opinions and then never let me choose ANYTHING!"

Well there's no need to go out looking scruffy though is there? I don't understand women who claim they don't 'have time' to do their hair/make up/get dressed properly of a morning. Surely it's a case of making time, no? Call me vain but I wouldn't dream of leaving the house without having showered, dressed, hair done and make up on.

Before anyone starts, I have 4 DCs and have even managed to achieve all that each morning even when I've had a newborn. There's no secret to it, I just get up early enough. I don't like getting up at 6am but I'm realistic enough to know that if I don't then I won't have time to get myself ready.

And as for going out with my DH - if he's here then it's easier to get ready because he helps out with the children. He's far from a perfect husband but I'll be buggered if he gets time to get ready and I don't.

I don't get it

I give the kids to DH for an hour if we're going "out out". He has his shower, dresses himself then he's done, leaving him plenty of time to attend to DC. I take a bit longer, so by handing responsibility over to him, we are all ready to go at about the same time. I think I look ok!

I should add though, I am slightly pissed off that his body has remained totally unchanged by being the parent of 4 children whereas mine definitely has changed

Never heard of anything so ridiculous.. if you want to make an effort, make an effort, if you dont, then dont.. having children has nothing to do with it.

If one partner is doing the bulk of the work then that is an issue that needs sorting. I don't really identify with this scenario though because I don't think my husband has ever spent longer getting ready than me. When the kids were young if I was getting ready I'd just tell him, go in bathroom, lock door, get on with it. Some women like to be martyrs to motherhood and won't just tell their men to get on with it.

What squeaky said.

DH and I are both naturally stunning so I don't understand what you are talking about.

Nah, I always looked a mess day to day, haven't really changed with kids. I do scrub up ok though! Husband and I like to play a little game on holiday sitting at a cafe as of an evening. We check out all the meandering couples to see if which sex is generally the fitter one. In about 90+ % of couples surveyed - the woman looks much better than they man. how shallow are we?

My dh is effortlessly beautiful.

I need ten minutes.

So we get a sprog each ready then I do myself up.

you clearly live in a sexy dad hotspot!!!!

I never see this

I go agree that (a) kids fucked my body not DPs and (b) he has aged better than me, olive skin.grrrr

in all honesty though I'd say my husband outshines me. I'm the slob and fatter, I'm sure when we got together years ago there were a few raised eyebrows, one girl I was at school with actually inferred it - the cow!

Make the effort, tell your DH you need him to have the DCS for 10 minutes while you get ready. If you need to start getting up a little earlier before him and say "I'm getting ready now, can you deal with the DCs?" so he still has time. If what you're doing is only allowing enough time for you both to be groomed and glamorous if you get ready at the same time then you haven't factored in the fact you have DCs and no longer can get ready at the same time, but need to stagger it so one of you are looking after the DCs/getting them ready.