to think my husband should help out at home?

[wewereherefirst]

My husband works a 4days working, 4 days off shift cycle, AIBU to expect him to muck in with the housework/shopping/cooking when he's on days off?

I wouldn't expect him to do it all, just maybe take the bins out when they need emptied, put some clothes away and tidy up instead of watching TV all the time.

I'd be more inclined to throw it back at him and say 'Why haven't you emptied the bin so the baby can't eat the contents?' and wait for his response.

He may empty it, if its close to the bin day it may get emptied. It's currently been 3 days of repeatedly pushing the contents down into the bin.

What is his response if you say 'the bin needs emptying, please do it?'

He -rarely- will do it straight away, other times he will say I'll do it in a minute, but he works on railway time.

I emptied the bin, to the protest of 'I was going to do it this afternoon' but the bin was overflowing and DS2 was grabbing everything out of the bin.

MrsMango the foolproof way is to marry a house trained man. They do exist.

What does he do on his days off?

Celtic, sadly it's a bit late for that. I am determined to get this one house trained though. Damned if I'm going to put up with this. He's perfectly capable at his job, remembering what needs to be done and managing deadlines, so he can bloody well learn to be a fully capable adult too! If that means training him like a dog, so be it. I think we're at the point where it's either that, counselling, or a good divorce lawyer. (ftr, he doesn't refuse to do his share, just conveniently forgets)

Hmmm can you train him with a whistle and treats?

Maybe a list of jobs for each day? No sitting down with the tv until he's checked it and done what's outstanding.

He watches TV and plays on his phone... He may entertain the baby for a little while sometimes too.

I think he may have read this thread as this afternoon he mopped the floor although I had swept it and took everything out then had to spend the rest of the time watching me wrap presents.

Did you say "Here, do half of these presents!?"

By God, he sounds a lazy arse!

The secret to a house trained partner is marry one that is already trained OR be prepared to see it right through and just not stand for it. Someone that sits there while their partner runs themselves ragged can't possibly love them in the way I expect to be loved.

I'm really anal about present wrapping, but he used to do well as a single person, so I don't know what happened for it all to go wrong.

Yep he should do half the jobs when off. You have to have some respite too.

Has someone forgotten husbands/significant others don't just come out of a box they need dedicated training and reward system giving praise may help. A super nanny reward chart may be going too far.

They don't come pre-prepared? Fucksticks. Do you think i can get a husband refund and find a fully house trained one?

I may do a 'marbles in the jar' reward system like DS1 has at school. If he fills the jar he gets a treat