To feel upset about my bosses behaviour?

[welshinexile]

I work at a university 3.5 daysa week have been back at work 2 months after maternity. I occasionally have to work late and have done a late shift since coming back but last week was unable to do a late event because of childcare issues.

My female boss basically slagged me off to my colleagues & called me unprofessional (i wasnt there but found out about it mon & have been upset since). She has always hated women who works part time with kids (she hasnt got kids) and assosciated part time working with unprofessional behaviour. She has a history of inappropriateness but it has devasted me as i work hard and am only just starting to feel normal again. She also suggested to my line manager that i wasnt working hard enough. When i was off she recruited new full time staff and has made no secret of giving them high level projects etc.

I just feel so demoralised & unhappy- i want to work and i do take pride in what i do - but its left me feeling devoid of confidence - and i hadnt felt like this when i wasnt there- i was so happy on maternity and its a
shock to feel like this again. I enjoy my work but not
where i do it because of this woman- she makes my life a misery and I feel like i wish i hadnt gone back. On the flip side i need to work, have worked hard to build a career and just feel like a failure at the moment.

What do i do?

I attempted a post-doc and although loved my work and the location, my crappy boss/professor meant I left in the end. I got pregnant again and realised I'd probably become quite ill and the short maternity leave wasn't worth the sacrifice (would have done it if the job was right)

sorry not very positive but sympathy nonetheless

will pop back later once I have recovered from my run more.

I looked up something on Google about being bullied after maternity leave and it said:

"If you feel pushed out or bullied call the Working Families helpline on 0800 013 0313 or visit www.citizensadvice.org.uk"

That was from an article dated in 2010, so hopefully it's still relevant. Worth a try, anyway?

Good luck.

Thankyou- will look that up - If I could hand in my notice tomorrow I would but have to serve sometime to avoid paying back my maternity pay- I cry every morning before work though so have to do something!

at least you are working in the UK, look into the HR side of things.

Tbh the whole place sounds unprofessional. If she said what she did, it should have been repeated to you. Your line manager should have taken out a grievence.
will your line manager support you putting in an official complaint?

If not, why did they tell you what she said?

it shouldn't have been repeated

It was a colleague that told me to 'warn me' what had happened- my line manager wasnt going to tell me as the boss had emailed her to rant about me not being there. My line manager said she defended me & that I shouldnt worry about it as the main boss is prone to shouting at people.
Its upset me because i feel like i have really tried so hard since coming back and yet none of it is good enough.

If she has a history of this why is it still happening? It sounds like it needs dealing with at a higher level.

I think slagging someone off who is on your team ia about as unprofessional as you can get. Can you not go over her head and get her manager involved?

Also, most companies have an Email policy, and slagging someone off in an email is maybe breaking this policy. She sounds very careless, as you have proof there of what she is doing

I'm very sorry this is happening to you, but I have to say I am not surprised.I have worked for a University for years, and despite all the wonderful policies in place (which on paper read much better than what's in place in the private company I work for now), my old employer was notorious for that kind of thing. For instance, we had the right for flexible working hours and such like, but woe be you if you dared to ask. There were also very few women who would make it to the top, and these were often worse than men with regards to women's rights and sympathy towards working mothers. And almost always childless...in any case, your boss is acting unprofessionally, bordering to bullying, and I'd get in touch with my union rep (join, if you're not a member). And document everything, every detail about being sidelined on projects, comments from colleagues etc...