Was I wrong?

[Milly22]

My DD wasn't invited to a school friend's Birthday party two weekends ago (most girls invited) but I told her it doesn't matter and she wasn't too bothered anyway so the following Monday my DD took a card and gift for her friend anyway. Her mum has tried to avoid me ever since. Was I wrong?

Why did you take a card and grift in? Presumably you don't know them very well or she would have invited dd?

I don't think you did anything wrong. I think the mum may be embarrassed that you use the I don't give to receive motto.

No right or wrong, maybe she thinks you were making a point

It seems like if dd wasn't bothered that you made a bigger deal of it than it was.

There was probably limited space at the party and she feels a bit awkward now. I do think you were wrong to send a gift in tbh, I would have just left it. It was very nice of you though.

We know them very well, basically neighbours and DD's always together.

Why do you think she didn't invite your DD if they are such good friends? Seems a bit odd?

She's obviously embarrassed. There's nothing actually wrong with what you did; but it is unusual and could be seen to be making a point.

Yes you were wrong. Even if your intentions were good, it will look like you were making a point about the party.

When DS doesn't get invited to parties he still takes presents and no one is funny with me. He doesn't like parties anyway.

maybe the mum is miffed that although neighbours, you waited until monday to give the gift. Could easily been done over the weekend as the two girls are always playing with each other.

It was DD decision (and money) to buy present not mine. Who was I to stop her?

Birthday wasn't until the following Monday.

You probably shouldn't allow your daughter to spend her own money buying presents for people who don't think she's important enough to be invited to the party.

Never make someone a priority if they'll only ever make you an option.

If the present was given a week in advance of the actual birthday; could she have intended to invite your dd to a birthday tea on the day itself, and now feels crap because you'll never now believe she didn't do it out of guilt?
I would only ever get a birthday child a present if we were invited but couldn't make it, fwiw.

You weren't wrong at all.

Your daughter wanted to do a nice thing for her friend. The mum is embarrassed now but that's not your (or your daughter's ) problem.

I'm guessing the other mum thinks you did it to make a point and she feels embarrassed.

What pictish said