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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel a bit sick when i saw fil licking my ds's feet

40 replies

Wheresmygalaxy · 20/11/2012 13:24

It happened saturday and even thinking about it now makes me feel a bit sick, He had turned up drunk at our house, dp had taken him out for a drink, but was driving so obviously wasnt as drunk as his dad.

Fil had hold of ds and i could smell the stench of stale smoke (hes typical old man, set in his ways, wears same clothes day in day out, gradually becoming more stained by the smoke) he usually doesnt come near when he smells of smoke as he knows the risks to ds (even if it has taken us months to drum it in).

anyway dp popped out to make some tea and i was sat talking to him, he had ds lying with his back on his lap and feet in the air, next thing hes licking his toes, i dont just mean a little lick and kiss, i mean proper sticking his tongue out, rolling it around his toes, eyes closed really getting into it.

I feel sick just writing this, told dp later and he just laughed it off, just me or is this a bit weird revolting??

OP posts:
FergusSingsTheBlues · 20/11/2012 14:11

Gads, that's awful. My son is only two and his feet are sweaty little things already.

Seriously? Revolting old man. Shock

honeytea · 20/11/2012 14:14

I'm glad I'm not as bad as the FIL!

Wheresmygalaxy · 20/11/2012 14:15

haha, my baby's feet are not much better, they are always covered in fluff of his trousers etc.

I blow raspberries on them all the time, he giggles when i or his dad do it, when fil did this, he just lay still and silent. I've told him to stop, We have had so many battles with them since he was born, the most major thing asking him to stop smoking around him, I think if i see him doing it again i will have to say something, just wanted to check this wasnt a normal thing to do to a baby first and i was over-reacting to it.

OP posts:
Strawhatpirate · 20/11/2012 14:20

Honeytea you are fine you followed standard baby feet protocal Grin FIL however is quite bizzare and possibly deranged.

zzzzz · 20/11/2012 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouOldSlag · 20/11/2012 14:24

YANBU. I wouldn't let a drunk person even hold my baby, and as for the eyes closed and toe licking- just ban him from holding the baby, it's just so weird and inappropriate.

Nibbles and raspberries are fine, but licking and enjoying it wayyyy out of line!

OP- you acted correctly.

moopoint · 20/11/2012 14:26

I pretend to play the flute on ds toes because he goes into hysterics but what your fil done seems very, very wrong. I would def speak to your dh again to make sure he knows how uncomfortable you were with it and that it better not happen again.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 20/11/2012 14:27

No, very very weird. Yuck. I love baby feet and could happily spend all day blowing raspberries on dd2's feet (dd1's feet aren't so fragrant after a day at school!).

But she's my baby and I don't like them. I certainly don't savour it, just a few raspberries at nappy changing or of she's dozing on me. I'd be pretty revolted at what you describe.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 20/11/2012 14:28

And I don't lick them. I do like them!

Wheresmygalaxy · 20/11/2012 15:40

So we agreed. Do i look like the weirdo then and mention it again now even though it was days ago (they have a habit of everything i bring up that i find a bit wrong, is all in my head), or do i leave it and see if he does it again, and then secretly vomit at the sight.

saying that though i can see it over and over again in my head.

OP posts:
Wertrude · 20/11/2012 15:46

YANBU!! I recognise the story from your reply to my thread Smile I thought him coming back from pub wanting drunken hugs was bad enough, but the toe licking??? Eurgh!!!

I find it a bit weird when anyone other than me and DH kiss DS on the face. His family always smother his tiny helpless little face with loads of kisses and I find myself grinding my jaw. That is probably me being unreasonable, but you are definitely not!!

Your dp needs to take this a little more seriously. I'm sure if he'd been there he would have felt the same. Also, would FIL have done it in front of dp? Just a thought... Hmm

Hope you sort it out

xxx

Wertrude · 20/11/2012 15:52

ooh - forgot to suggest this: rather than bringing it up now and running the risk of being convinced that it's no big deal etc, wait for it to happen again. If you still feel like vomiting when it happens again, grab ds from FIL, saying 'I did mention to you that I don't like you doing that.' You did it when he needed bonjella, so you can do it when he needs saving from having his poor little toes assaulted Grin

shellshock7 · 20/11/2012 15:53

I wouldn't let a drunk person hold my DS, and now I know why! That's really disgusting Angry

Wheresmygalaxy · 20/11/2012 16:29

Wertrude Yes im all for snatching back my baby when i think i need to now Wink, Hope your doing ok around your out laws too.

To be honest i dont even think i could be that polite, id probably just scream eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee in his face, until he put ds down Grin

OP posts:
YouOldSlag · 21/11/2012 14:32

In future rather than wait for it to happen again, just keep making excuses about why the FIL can't hold your DC. "DS is tired now, he just wants his Mum" or "I think I'd better have him, he needs a burp/change/cuddle/not to have his toes licked".

You can do this quite naturally and firmly without anyone picking you up on it. Or just tell them you don't let drunk people hold your son.

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