To think that when they said 'relaxed' they meant not a good Mum?

[Spice17]

I'm a new Mum and my DM saw 2 of my cousins yesterday who said that I was 'relaxed' with my DD.

Now I don't know the context of this conversation but it's made me think they mean it in a negative sense for some reason (I get on with them both very well by the way and no previous of bitching/arguments)

I've taken it as meaning I'm lax or not very responsive to her needs. I realise that sounds mad and paranoid now I'm writing it but it's made me wonder why I can't just see it as a positive.

Also, feel oddly a bit pissed off that they're suprised I'm relaxed with her if that's genuinley the way they meant it.

Perhaps I should get out a bit more! :)

Relaxed is a compliment.

When it's an insult they say "slack" .

relaxed is good :)

I think it sounds excellent, and possibly unusual in a first-time mum. Many of us found it hard to be relaxed, to go with the flow, not worry about the future implications of what we were doing right then, and enjoy our DCs.

But perhaps you aren't that relaxed because you are a bit paranoid . I say that because you've no reason to think they meant it in a bitchy way ....

I'd have thought they meant relaxed in a serene, calm way. As in not stressed

Relaxed is a compliment, means you're natural and at ease.

It's a compliment. They mean you're a natural at it.

Oh, and lots of people are not relaxed with their newborn, not necessarily a bad thing, people can't help the way they feel and some are less confident than others or have specific worries, so I don't think it's odd to mention it if you seem very relaxed and happy with your dd.

Take it as a compliment, if this is your first DC many people will be surprised that you are relaxed about it, maybe they are jealous, but it is a fact that many first time mums are stressed and worried about whether they are doing everything right. Enjoy it.

Relaxed as the opposite of highly strung or pfb.

My FIL said (to my face) that he was surprised how maternal I was. Now that's an insult

Phew, thanks I was worried people would say I was going a bit crazy!

I DO feel relaxed with her most of the time apart from when she snuffles/breathes funny/moves differently/sleeps a lot/cries (only joking!) so I should see it as a compliment I guess.

I just recall a friend of mine saying another friend had a 'relaxed' parenting style after she let her 4 year old son stay up until 5am in the morning on NYE!

I will be rational (is that possible with a newborn I wonder?!) and take it as a good thing :)

No no. 'Relaxed parenting style' as a criticism of someone with an older child is not the same as 'relaxed' when talking about someone relating to their young baby. It is a compliment.

My DM says the same about me and I take it as a big compliment :)

'Relaxed' with a newborn is a massive compliment. If they're surprised, it's because not everybody achieves such a serene state.

It's when they put 'too' before relaxed that you need to worry.

Compliment definitely. Welcome to the world of guilt ridden motherhood :)

no its a compliment IMO esp to a mum of a PFB