to think that some older people dont 'get' why JS et al is so important?

[boschy]

My PIL and aged DM came to lunch yesterday - their average age 80. Conversation turned to the BBC, JS, Dave Lee Travis etc, and all 3 oldies were of the opinion that 'in their day' young women were well able to fend off lecherous men, and "everyone knew who was NSIT" (Not Safe In a Taxi) and why couldn't the girls and women 'involved' in the current allegations just have hit back/kneed their attacker in the balls/left to get another job as appropriate. (I did point out of course that many of them were still schoolgirls, below the age of consent, young boys, in residential care, possibly already damaged etc etc).

DD1, 16, and DD2, 13 put up a very spirited defence about how this was an abuse of power, not necessarily about sexuality, and that no girl/young woman/older woman should have to accept any kind of attention they don't want. (I was very proud of them both).

MIL came out with a load of pants about some men just being the cuddly type, and she couldn't understand why everything had taken so long to come out, as if time passed means it wasnt important.

DM admitted that times have changed, and that what was 'ok' in their day is not acceptable now, but I think even she still thinks there is an element of 'men being men'... although as an Irish catholic, she holds a special place in hell for paedophile priests/Magdalene laundries etc, so I guess she is kind of on the right path.

DH and I asked all 3 of them why they thought it would be acceptable for their grand daughters to think this kind of behaviour was the norm, and MIL took great offence and said that girls should know how to fend off unwanted behaviour and that it was a sign of weakness not to be able to do so.

So I guess I am not quite sure what my AIBU question is, but the whole conversation really annoyed me, and I think it is to do with the fact that MIL in particular seems to think it's all a bit of a storm in a teacup...

I do think you need to make a distinction between child abuse and sexual assault on an adult woman. My comments refer only to the latter.
I started work in an office in the 1970s. Most of the staff were young women aged from 16 to 25. The managers were all older men. Why this was so is another subject. One manager was a notorious groper. Most of us felt uncomfortable in his presence but he only pounced in private. One woman who worked in a room on her own told everyone that he had grabbed her by the breast, whereupon she reached back and grabbed his balls and said I'll let go when you do. Literally every woman in the building knew about this but I doubt any of the managers did. He knew we knew.
I do have concerns about the women (I repeat not child victims) who waited 30 years before reporting a man to the police.

Speaking of groping being more common back in the day...I remember queuing at the bar when I first started going clubbing and more often than not a greasy suit type would be standing too close behind rubbing is semi into me. I would accidentally spill my drink on those creepy assholes. WTF made them think that was an acceptable thing to do?

Life was different 30 years ago, at school, work and also at home. I would never talk to my parents about sex in the way that my kids talk to me. I was telling my (86 year old) Mum the other day about a teacher who was a groper, but it would never have occurred to me to tell my parents at the time - I just never got in a car with him! At work, I had friends locked in the stationery cupboard by their bosses etc., and they just dealt with it. I suppose the real point is that people now talk openly, and that hadn't used to happen - and if that stops 'bad' things happening, it can only be a good thing.