to kill my MiL for telling DD2 that Santa doesn't exist

[freddiefrog]

DD2 is 7, she was very firmly in the I Belive camp and I really would have liked it to remain that way for a couple more years.

DD1 (11) got suspicious a couple of years ago, and finally sussed/had it confirmed just after last Christmas, amid dire warnings of no stocking if she blew it for her sister.

The DDs were Skyping with the inlaws last night and the subject of Christmas came up.

MiL said 'oh, you don't still believe in Santa do you , you're getting too old for that'. DD asked her what she meant, MiL then told her it was 'all pretend'

I'm ready to kill her

What a cruel thing to do.

Could you get your hands on a lump of coal for your MIL's present?

I think your MIL is lucky its not yet possible to punch someone over skype. I'm fuming on your behalf

In fact you are very charitable, freddie. Much nicer than I would be.

Ds (12 now - 11 last Christmas) still "believes" .

I think that part of the "magic" for him has now become the pretending.

We've also got The Polar Express on DVD and have discussed the fact that "the magic is there for as long as you want it to be."

YANBU

DD2 is 7 and still believes, if she asks the question, I will be honest, but whilst the magic is there, why change it?

Quite a lot of about older children still believing, DD1 (11) got told by me this year, as I was concerned about teasing at secondary school. All children grow up at different rates, isn't it great for them to enjoy the magic of childhood as long as possible?

Anyway, you can visit Santa in Lapland, so he must be real, FFS!

It sounds like you are having this stupid and thoughtless old witch to stay for the weekend soon. I would be seriously tempted to cancel - or at least let her know that I was tempted to cancel because I was so angry.

I believed absolutely until I was 10 and I only found out then because my Mum thought I ought to know before I went to secondary school. I was the youngest child and my elder sisters wanted to keep me believing as long as possible as it was more fun for them so they always had lots of fantastic explanations as to how it all worked.

My DD had guessed by the time she was 6. Which was a bit of a disappointment but once she clearly knew I could see there was no point lying. I would always be very, very careful around someone else's child though.

Glad your DD2 has dismissed her gran, it would be a shame for her to stop believing at this time of year. Your MIL on the other hand is being horrible.

Love the poem Takver...have bookmarked it.

Ah well OP, if your MIL is anything like mine then kill her!

It's not that unusual for the kids round here to believe up to around 10 if they haven't got a miserable guts granny to spoil it for them and DD1 has mentioned a couple of her year 6 class mates still believe.

DD1 questioned it a lot in the run up to the Christmas she'd just turned 9, fudged it a bit as it was so close to Christmas, then she was hedging her bets never asked again until we confirmed it just after Christmas last year (just turned 10) but it was obvious she hadn't really bought it the year before.

DD2 has never said a word about it. Until this morning had never questioned how FC delivered all those gifts on one night, or how reindeers can fly, etc. We would have left her to work it out for herself (unless she was about to start high school or something)

DD1's been fab about keeping her gob shut, and tried to speak over MiL on Skype to shut her up (DH & I were pottering around doing other stuff, so didn't really cotton on to what she'd said until she said it), she no longer has that magic, but part of the fun for her now is keeping it alive for her sister.

We'll still have FC long after they both stop believing, pretending to be asleep and not giggling at mum trying to deliver presents on the half a bottle of Baileys she's consumed peeling the Christmas dinner veg is part of the fun. We always had a sack of stuff from Father Christmas, up until I left home. My Mum still does them for my brother, DH and I now if we visit at christmas

I believed until 9 or 10 because I wanted to. I would have been very upset to have found out in this was from my Nann. The way he has said it implies your DD is silly for believing. Very mean.

I would be !

Blood typos! Sorry.

I think if your MIL has made a genuine cock-up that's easier to forgive than if you think she came out with that on purpose.

I would still be fuming though.

I chose to believe until I was 14 when my mum got thoroughly sick of sneaking around at silly o'clock in the morning and told me in no uncertain terms to get over it !

11 and believing in FC is so wrong imo but I know of friends who think I'm mad!

If it hadn't have been MIL it would have been someone in the playground - especially at 7.

I don't understand believing in FC, we brought up ds to believe in the 'true' story of how a nice man helped people but no that a real man comes down your chimney, that seems utterly bizarre to me

It is part of the magic and innocence of childhood. My daughter being 13 sussed it out a couple of years ago,but has kept it going for my 10 year old son (ok he may have worked it out by now but not letting on..his choice). I would have been so upset for them if some ratbag had spoilt the magic for them for no good reason! My sister has never let her children believe in FC (which I dont get, cos she loved all that as a kid) but she has always respected our little fantasy and never let on bless her.

I would tell your DD that your MiL doesn't exist and that it's all been a bad dream. Like in Dallas

Proposition Joe

As a "devout" Roman Catholic myself I think that's a great response!

Nothing wrong with belieiving in or wanting to believe in Santa for as long as anyone wants to - Im 42 and I still believe! Lots of my happy memories of my Christmas when younger was looking in the sky hoping to see his sleigh and the excitement of feeling a full stocking on Christmas morning, so glad my own boys have had a chance to feel all of it to. DS2 is 10 and believed last year but dont think so this year. And contrary to the opinions of a few scrooges I have neither been traumatised when I figured out my own aprents had lied to me or upset at the thought of a man with a beard coming in the house to leave me presents.

Could you get your hands on a lump of coal for your MIL's present?

Excellent, Narked.

I've heard that is one of only three things you get sacked for straight if you say it on TV! Fact!

Hell to the no! I'd happily kill mine for a damn site less lol :)

yanbu, just make sure you clean up the mess afterwards and dispose of the body properly.

I would be beyond livid tbh.

Christmas can still be 'magical' without believing in FC. Does Christmas suddenly become shit once you know about FC then? Some of the most magical Christmases I have had have been pre ds as an adult.

We still do the Santa thing. 16yr old DD1 is openly scornful lol.

DS1 is 11 and a bit baffled. I think he doesn't believe anymore, but he seems worried that I might still believe. I think he's wondering whether to break me the bad news.

DD2 is nearly 2 yrs, so I want to keep the magic going.

Shocking that someone would tell a kid there's no Santa :(