To wonder why people that are aloof and full of themselves have everyone running around after them?

[Haughtyculture]

Does anyone else notice this? Just in general.

I know a couple of people who are very aloof, very self absorbed, but everyone hangs on their every word and thinks they're great.

Why is this? I avoid aloof people like the plague....

Littlepicklehead, I'd say this woman is a bit like the colleague you've described; she hates it if people aren't kissing her arse, but when people do regularly kiss her arse she treats them like dirt. She is on my Facebook and there are some people that comment on everything she posts, yet she often ignores the same people. Others have noticed it too.

Adversecamber, this woman is a bit like this too. She thinks everyone likes her and worse that everyone wants to hear her opinions. She is quite rude to people she doesn't consider good enough to associate with

I think some people have such a good opinion of themselves that (in public) everyone believes them. I suspect when everyone's gone home, those that are flocking round them probably moan about them, but don't dare say anything in public because they're convinced everyone else thinks they're wonderful.

Do you mean aloof or just self-centred? I think whoever said that aloofness can just be shyness in disguise had a good point. But I do think in general that people who are full of themselves and self-centred do seem to get more attention than they deserve in life. I have an old friend who I don't see very often who has always been totally incapable of thinking of anyone else's needs and who always puts herself first and I've always been amazed how many otherwise sensible and well-adjusted people let her off the hook for it.

To be honest I think its a depressing reflection of the fact that most women in particular are a) polite even when its not in their own interest and tend to defer to the most dynamic and assertive person in the group, even if that person is selfish and b) have fairly low self-esteem and tend to think that if someone is full of it it must be for a good reason.

We'd all do well to bear in mind that old saying about empty vessels making the most noise, I think.

I want some mignons.

Where does one get them?

I'm smirking with recognition at the people who are amazed that someone somewhere doesn't like them. My son happily informed a particularly stuck-up bint in the playground that, "My Mummy really hates you!" and she was so offended that she complained to a teacher about it! Quite what she was expecting the teacher to do about it, I have no idea!

Its complex. Bosses pay to have people running after them.

Some people seem to idolise others and wish to run after them.
(Not me)

Being RICH in most societies gets you followers. Its like Freedom, everyone is free to eat at the Ritz; but in reality only those who are well-heeled.

I sometimes think I should take on an intern and let them do my running.
But I dont think I would like that relationship. (it is too linked to high unem-
ployment. )

YANBU! I was just thinking about this recently, in terms of one particular person. I admit to running around after him and hanging off his every word for years, and I keep meeting people who do the same thing. He is quite unsocial and often doesn't turn up to events when invited, but invariably everyone talks about him in glowing terms, almost in awe.

I'm fed up with him now as I see through him. Hes a bit of a selfish attention seeker. But it was the mystery, the not knowing, which made him interesting.

Ironically finding out more about him and discovering that he just as boring and ordinary, possibly more so, than anyone else, cured that.

The person I know is also very secretive about things. Everything is a bit cryptic. She will do a facebook check in at a doctor's surgery but then not reply when people ask her why she's there. Her statuses are very cryptic, and of course everyone always replies but she never returns to reply on them, so again people are left wondering what events are going on in her life that day.

From your description she sounds attention seeking rather than aloof.

Yes she is very attention seeking. People are sucked in by it though and I just don't understand why. I can see straight through her.

I think certain occupations attract (or maybe nurture) self-absorbed and aloof people.

I'm not sure what occupation she did pre-children but she's what I'd call a professional SAHM. Very competitive and determined to do the job absolutely perfectly and frown on those that, in her opinion, don't do it perfectly.