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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is a relationship?

3 replies

BedsocksarenotsexybutIlovethem · 18/11/2012 22:43

One of my best friends has been seeing this guy for about a year now. They regularly stay round each others houses, been on holidays with each other and their families and do lots of things couples do.

She has never once referred to him as her bf so I asked her in a jokey way if they were bf and gf. She said no as he has too much debt and she can't be with him until he has paid this off. This left me a bit confused. In my mind if you do all the stuff they do then they are in a relationship as they just happen and you become a couple. It's not like at school when you ask someone out.

I know it isn't any of my business but I just found it an odd thing for her to say especially as she said that once his debt is cleared then they can be together.

OP posts:
SirBoobAlot · 18/11/2012 22:47

Maybe that's what she has said to him?

Though if he's in that much debt, going off on holiday doesn't seem the best way to support him.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 18/11/2012 22:54

Maybe she sees a "Relationship" as having concrete ties to bind them together - a shared tenancy/mortgage or joint bank account or bills in joint names say, and since they don't have those, she doesn't see them as together?
I guess as long as they both know where they stand, and what the other's intentions/meanings are when they say whatever it is they say to each other, it's not really anyone else's business. As long as they get along and neither of them is trying to defraud/hurt/con the other, it's fine.

BedsocksarenotsexybutIlovethem · 18/11/2012 23:05

Her relationship with him is no different to her previous relationships though apart from the debt thing. Just find it a bit strange.

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