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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To be saddened by teenagers of today

343 replies

dinkybinky · 18/11/2012 16:09

Ive just been having a conversation with my niece. Apparently its the norm nowadays to "get with" (kiss)as many boys as possible at teenage parties. Parents even supply alcohol to 14/15 year olds.
Girls like this were called awful names if they behaved in such a way when I was at school, whats changed to make it acceptable?

OP posts:
Witchety · 18/11/2012 16:49

Why are you having a go at us dinkybinky when it's your own family behaving this way?!?!!

claraschu · 18/11/2012 16:50

It just seems so unromantic.
Do you think people used to be have more fun with the suspense and gentle flirtation, or is that just in the movies and novels?

MadamFolly · 18/11/2012 16:50

What I mean Esme, is that the less accepting we are of sexuality the more teen pregnancies and destitute women we will see.

I think you thought I was saying the opposite of what I meant.

nearlymerrychristmasbutnotyet · 18/11/2012 16:50

That sort of thing has been going on for years us oldies just tend to forget how shocking things used to be.

badtasteflump · 18/11/2012 16:51

Dinky no, it wouldn't really bother me.

And I too don't understand what having respect for yourself has to do with snogging, or not.

FromEsme · 18/11/2012 16:52

No dinkybinky what's obvious is that you have never questioned the notion of sex and morality. You've just heard, probably time and time again, that there is something wrong with kissing, having sex and experimenting. But you've never once questioned why any of those things are wrong. Because if you had, you'd unclench for a second.

What IS wrong is anyone feeling any pressure to do something they're not into or making someone else do something they're not into. As far as sex is concerned, that's pretty much it for me moralistically.

badtasteflump · 18/11/2012 16:53

Or actually, TBH it would bother me a bit, but it would be so hypocritical of me to judge that I would really try to get over it.

dinkybinky · 18/11/2012 16:53

Would you go out to a club/bar and kiss 20 random men and feel good about yourself the next day?

OP posts:
FromEsme · 18/11/2012 16:55

Yes dinkybinky I would do that if I wanted to and I found the men attractive.

AND I go to sex clubs and yes, I feel good about myself the next day.

Try not to weep into your scented hanky for me, I'm fine.

TheOneWithTheHair · 18/11/2012 16:55

No I wouldn't because I'm happily married but if I was single I can't see how it wouldn't be ok as long as it was my choice.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 18/11/2012 16:56

Spin the bottle when I was young er

Terribly old fashioned now. I bet there's an app for it...

cory · 18/11/2012 16:57

I thought Victorian morals was the kind of thing the Earl of Grantham was on about in the last Downton Abbey episode: "if I'd screamed every time someone tried to kiss me at Eton I'd have gone hoarse in a month").

TheOneWithTheHair · 18/11/2012 16:57

Spin the bottle when I was young er

Terribly old fashioned now. I bet there's an app for it...

Grin
Witchety · 18/11/2012 16:58

Sex clubs esme ? what are these?

ClippedPhoenix · 18/11/2012 16:58

Blimey, what on earth is your problem. My DS is 15 and he doesn't go to kissing parties, maybe kissing goes, so what? Kissing is lovely. I've never seen one derogatory sentence about a member of the opposite sex either on his facebook nor has he ever said anything whilst at home with his mates.

And do you know why? Because I, as a parent have taught him to respect others no matter what gender.

complexnumber · 18/11/2012 16:59

Bloke perspective:
At 15/16/17 (i.e. late 70's in London) I was drinking in pubs, staying out all night (M&D sometimes knew where I was when I rang them) smoking anything, dropping pills and generally having fun.

But very few snogs, I went to an all boys school. Female company was gold dust. I was in complete awe of girls and would have done anything they asked.

Why didn't they realise!

badtasteflump · 18/11/2012 17:00

If I were single and I had fancied snogging each of those 20 men then yes I would feel fantastic about myself the next day - why ever wouldn't you after a good night out? Grin

Just wondering what your 'cut off' point is OP for having morals or not - is kissing three men ok? Or seven? Is it 20 that makes you a slapper? If so just call me Julie Andrews Smile

dinkybinky · 18/11/2012 17:00

Im glad you asked that Witchety

OP posts:
FromEsme · 18/11/2012 17:01

Witchety clubs where people go to disrespect themselves and have sex.

AKissIsNotAContract · 18/11/2012 17:01

Witchety: is the name not self explanatory?

dinkybinky · 18/11/2012 17:03

You mean brothels ?

OP posts:
greeneyed · 18/11/2012 17:03

No I wouldn't want to watch my DS kissing several people at a party it woulds be gringeworthy - but it is all quite normal for teenage development, it would be sadder for me to watch my DS in the kitchen, not part of the action and feeling he was missing out! We are all sexual creatures and teenagers experiment - actually in this party enviroment whrere there friends are close by it is probably safer than being alone with a boy. My 80 year old grandma was knocked up at 16, she's reading 50 Shades at the moment, not sure much has changed.

Witchety · 18/11/2012 17:03

No akiss it could be anything sex related!

I know about dangers clubs, wondered how the 2 differed?

FromEsme · 18/11/2012 17:04

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

x 1000000000

Brothels!

Witchety · 18/11/2012 17:04

Dangers?? Meant swingers !!