To feel upset at seeing mums to be at the same stage I should have been?

[WeezyPeezy]

Three times today, twice in RL and once on Children In Need!! I have no DC and had MC at 8wks this summer but just hitting me now. These ever increasing bumps are torture!! Although I am very happy for these people. Does it get easier or shall I always be measuring 'milestones?'

Very sorry you are going through this! I hated seeing others like this whrn I had my 2 mc's. I now have 4 dc's. It can and does happen...good luck and try not to stress, not likely I know.

Weezy sorry for your loss. I know how painful the grief can be. My missed mc was discovered by a scan Christmas Eve 1996. That was the year Only Fools and Horses thought it would be funny to have the character Cassandra have a miscarrige. We couldn't get to the off button quick enough and to this day I will not watch Fools & Horses.

After that I had an etopic pg. And finally DD1 came along followed by DD2 with the help of clomid.

IME it doesn't matter how early on in the pg things go wrong, the grief is for the child that could have been. And it does feel like everyone is pg or pushing a pram. Keep talking to your DP. For me it all got so painful I needed counselling so I could tell my DH how I felt (I had bottled it all up) In time the pain will ease.

I wish you all the best

don't beat yourself up, my mum was the most sane person I have ever known, down to earth and on FB this week I put a picture of her up and said commenerated her 15th after her funeral, and out of a hundred friends I got 30+ likes and nearly as many comments (the hundred is I don't let it go above, one in one out, after 5 years it is working, only people I give a stuff about mainly:) )
but my Mum really and I hate to say it, hated my 2 cousins who unfortunatly where born before and after her daughter should have been, I was 16 at the time and knew my mum was not acting normal for her and I never once when she admitted to me in my 20's really understood it, but sort of could iyswim? she never liked my cousins she softened to the eldest but totally horrible about the younger, and they are both perfectly nice women now and where lovely children.
I try to understand but the closes I ever got was an person at work who was my age 33 at the time and clinically obese, got accidently pregnant and at her pre maternity leaving doo another person who knew I was having IVF but we where in the early stages ( she had adoped 2 girls) asked if I felt angry? and after that I did for a few days, I seethed, then I thought really? I was happy for her
My first IVF failed, didn't bother me really did have a bit of a cry, 2nd worked dts but when I started my journey I wasn't really bothered by the out come as I was happy in our life but thought well, this is the next stage, lets give it ago, and I am sure people don't believe me

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, it must be so hard for you.

I'm really sorry.

I know exactly how you feel. I had a mmc in June and there was a lady at work who was due exactly when I would've been. I could barely speak to her

In fact that was the hardest aspect of the whole thing.

I hope it does get easier and if you do feel up to it there are some lovely ladies in miscarriage topic who know what you're going through. I found it good 'speaking' to people on here who understood. I think it's underestimated IRL how hard it is.

I'm sorry for your loss. You are definitely not alone or unreasonable in feeling like that. I lost my DS2 at 18 weeks in April; it felt like every other woman I saw after that was pregnant. I would find myself comparing what my bump should have been to theirs. I promise it does get easier.
I'm pleased you spoke to DH. Even if he doesn't feel quite the same at least he now has an understanding of how you're feeling.

((hugs)) wheezy

I found the time around my due date just awful but expected to be ok after that - it seemed logical! However the reverse was true :( I hit rock bottom and it hasn't helped having 2 SILs having babies this year.

Allow yourself to feel jealous and really crappy in private about other peoples bumps. It's natural and normal and as long as you can paste a smile on in public at the right times then you're doing well :) I spent too much time beating myself up about feeling jealous.

DPs and DHs are not always the best ones to vent at, after a while btw. They do seem to handle things differently. We feel it more acutely, and for longer, i think. Sorry for the massive generalisation there guys!

Time does ease the pain. But give yourself plenty of it wheezy. More ((hugs))

Oh weezy, I'm so sorry
Don't feel guilty for feeling the way you do. It's totally normal, and frankly I think you need days were you can have a cry, let it all out, have a good rant, just to keep feeling sane.
I do have some idea where you're coming from. A year ago we lost one of

Sorry, should read we lost one of our twin boys at 34 weeks and I've spent a year trying to avoid twins or I'll end up comparing and wondering what they would be like now. After some counselling, and finally feeling a bit normal again we've just had a miscarriage at 7 weeks last week. My neighbour and SIL are both pregnant and due the same time I would have been. I can't really avoid them but its going to hurt like hell.

I hope things do get easier for you, op. you sound like a lovely, caring person and deserve a happy ending ((hugs))

I too am sorry for your loss, weezy.

I had my fourth miscarriage in total this year. I was due mid-January and the progress of the pregnancy that would have been (iyswim) does haunt me.

Miscarriage, because the loss is concrete only to you really, can be a very difficult kind of grief to handle. People who haven't been through it at least once live in a kind of innocent bliss, whereas we know what can stand between us and that happy event of birth.

I'm very lucky indeed to have had two children as well as the miscarriages, and to have finally a treatable reason for the miscarriages, which tests have now uncovered, giving me at least a chance at the next pregnancy (if there is one) working out.

Really sorry for your loss.

I too am finding it hard, I had a miscarriage earlier on in the year and should have been due early January, I'm finding it especially hard as my brothers girlfriend is due the same time and although I am happy for them it hurts every time I see them.

My pregnancy was a happy surprise but sadly my DH doesn't want anymore babies now which seems to make it worse somehow.

Thank you for your replies, guys, and sorry hear of all your lost loved ones (babies and other family) too. Shall keep trying. As a few if you have said, it can happen and having a positive attitude can only help. It must be just as awful for friends that have to be around me with their bumps and feeling bad for me too. Onwards and upwards (no pun intended ) and thanks for all the support. Xx

I'm sorry for your losses.

My SIL had a miscarriage just before her 12 weeks scan and had told everyone as soon as she found out. One of her best friends had also just found out, so I do feel for her having to cope with that. How do I help her?

She said something the other night about no babies being the story of her life. She always said she wanted to wait til she was about 34 before having children and she's only 31, but I think now she's had this loss it accelerates the wanting?

I just want to say the right thing, I just said it will happen, but it sounds a bit lame...

Sorry for your loss. I've had 4 myself consecutively. It was a horrible time in my life. The first three I've kind of blotted out of my mind, I've forgotten dates and things, but the last one we had the baby tested for abnormalities. We found out the sex and that was heartbreaking. I can't forget that miscarriage because I got pregnant a few months later and had my 20wk scan on the same date as my due date.

I do think it gets easier, but you never forget. I had a lot of counselling to help me deal with the losses too. Maybe this is something you might want to think about?

PS hand holding to all the 'should have been mummies soon' at this time too. I was Feb the 6th due date and kind of hoping we will have some happy news by then to soften the blow. Annoyingly I knew my DP from school but spent years travelling and part of that was searching for Mr. Right 'under my nose' . could have nabbed him before my eggs went fusty, haha. Oh, the irony of Paalo Cohelo's The Alchemist amuses me much. I do believe it should be standard high school reading for all us dream chasers!!

Thanks for the suggestion Fakebook. I find MN great therapy but shall have a think about counselling. Xx