to stop wasting money on swimming lessons because my DC are clearly NEVER going to learn to swim when they hate the lessons so much

[wigglytuff]

DC are age 5 and 6. They started swimming lessons in august last year (2011) Progress was slow in the stage 1 (beginner) group but they were happy to go to the lessons and try all the moves. I was fine with this and they were enjoying themselves so i didn't mind paying out for the lessons.

After 6 months I had to change the day they had lessons on due to a change in my own timetable. This also meant they had a new teacher who (this may be important) actually taught them while in the water herself rather than stood by the side as previous teacher had done. All of a sudden both DC made rapid progress. they seemed to just 'get' what they needed to do and were moved up a level after 3 months.

This is when the problems started. The teacher from that lesson had no space in her level 2 group so they went on the waiting list and in the meantime were offered spaces in another (3rd) teacher's group. It wasn't at an ideal time or day for any of us but i accepted. The new teacher stood by the side of the pool and after a while DC started to lose interest in going to lessons. They also grew less confident in their abilities in the pool. I tried to reassure them and we stuck with the lessons as i thought it an important skill for DC to learn.

Eventually the got offered spaces on the 2nd teachers group 2 lessons. DC very excited about this. They start to make progress again but more importantly loved going to the lessons. But after just 3 weeks the teacher tells them she is leaving, she was only a maternity cover and the original teacher is coming back. Many tears about this and I again reassure them it will be ok and this teacher was also going to be in the pool.

It hasn't been ok though. On their second lesson with this teacher she made them jump in the deep (2 metre) end of the pool) DC were terrified and screaming but she still made them do it-twice! the following week they refused to go to the lesson. The week after i got them to go but DS spent half the lesson crying 'because he couldn't do it' Last week they didn't go because we had a party later in the evening and i thought it would be too much to do both. They didn't complain at all.

So this week's lesson (today) teacher isn't in the pool as she has a broken arm. DS spent the entire lesson crying and refusing to even try to swim. Teacher just said fine sit on the side then, which is what he did for the whole 30 mins. DD did try but she was quite obviously struggling and didnt seem to know what to do after 20 mins she was in tears as well. They both came out of the lesson saying they never want to go back.

AIBU to give in to them and just cancel the lessons? I am wasting (quite a lot of) money when they are not actually learning to swim. Or should I be forcing them to keep it up and keep my fingers crossed that the lessons will improve and DC will actually learn to swim one day?

Have you actually read the OP's posts, Atoz?

P. S. I don't think you're 'giving in'. You're acknowledging that what you're doing at the moment isn't working and thinking of other ways to teach them to swim. This is adapting to their needs and changing circumstances, not 'giving in'.

Do you have a friend or family member who can take them between lessons?

IME frequency of practice makes more difference than quality of coaching at this stage. When I was doing the 'final push' with DS of getting him from a bit of doggy paddle to independent proper swimming then I waited til we were on holiday and we swam for a few hours a day and it 'clicked'. Which might seem unhelpful considering your circumstances but I'm just trying to say that it might be asking too much of your DC that they would make a lot of progress just from a lesson without practice in between .

Are you unable to swim for physical reasons? If not, could you give them a break from it and spend the money on a year of lessons for yourself?

Could you find out if the teacher that was covering the maternity that they did well with, would be willing to take them privately?

Someone said above, it's all about trust. Your DC clearly don't trust this new situation, so based on this alone, I'd stop the lessons immediately. At least your DC will be able to trust that their Mum will do the right thing. Continuing with this could really put them off swimming.

Spend the next few weeks over the Christmas period having fun in the water, and in the meantime, look for someone who will take them on a 1:1 basis. My DD was taught 'from the side' in a group, and learnt very little. I found it a total waste of money to be honest. In the 30 minutes they spent in the pool, they had perhaps just 2 or 3 'swims' that was instructed and supervised. So I spoke to one of the lifeguards, and asked him whether he offered 1:1 private lessons. We agreed a fee (cheaper than the group cost, incidentally) and now we meet every week with my DD literally running into the pool. He's earning some extra cash and DD is swimming really well now, and having lots of fun with it.

Atozandbackagain - Did you read any of the OP????
Or did you just comment on the title?

Op I would just say, give them a break, take them fun swimming, and then find a new teacher - talking time to ask them the important questions for you.

I'm not a confident swimmer but have always taken my kids swimming. personally i wouldn't stop lessons - all 3 of mine have been told learning to swim is non negotiable. I would ask to speak to their teacher, see what you can do to help them. If they are jumping in at the deep end they must be competent swimmers already though?