To wonder what's wrong with being judgy?

[Betterthedrivelyouknow]

'Thou shalt not judge' appears to be an unwritten MN commandment. Anyone having the temerity to disapprove of something is shot down and decried as being 'judgy' as though that's a bad thing.

Now, I'm totally against superficial judgements- on how someone looks or talks etc. but am struggling to understand the horror of judging people by their behaviour and actions? If someone behaves in a way contrary to that I believe to be right, then why shouldn't I make a judgment in my own mind?

What's wrong with saying 'x chain smokes, gets pissed and swears like a navvy infront of her small children, therefore x is not someone I want to be around'?

The reason I like mumsnet is because it keeps my views wider than I believe they might be otherwise. It gives me lots of opportunities to hear different stories, make an assessment/judge and see what others views were.

I regularly reassess my view precisely because of something someone else has said that was something I had never considered before. In rl it can b harder to have such open debate. Equally when I do know something that challenges another's view it's nice to think I may have reciprocated.

It's good too judge but have to b prepared to alters ones view.

I judged the mum for letting her dd go out like that!
Glad to know we are in alignment Hecate

Good point Tess. Judging is ok if you are in a position to judge (ie have all the facts), but an AIBU post is likely to be quite one sided.

Fuck me, it's 'being judgmental'.

gobbin, being judgmental about others' abuse of the English language.

I judge (quietly to myself, for fear of upsetting others), and believe it's my right and also what helps keep my own behaviour and standards in check. If I didn't care about what other people thought I'd be even more of a bellowing fishwife in the playground, would feed my kids all manner of crap in public places to keep them quiet etc., but the thought of others thinkning badly of me can often stop me taking the easy option.

If we're part of a wider society, and we expect people to uphold certain social niceties and standards of behaviour, then surely the wider society members can be allowed to judge, as long as it's not malicious and people understand that there's not a 'one size fits all' approach to life. I like to think I can be called on my judginess when I'm out of order.