Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel a bit upset

11 replies

Joolsy · 14/11/2012 20:18

My stepmum's b/day is a couple of weeks (it's a big one though she doesn't want a fuss made, ie. no party/surprises etc). I rang my dad to find out what she's doing & he said they are going out for a nice meal and her 2 daughters plus their partners & kids are going too. I feel a bit upset that me & my family haven't been invited. I don't think it's that she doesn't want us there, I think they genuinely haven't thought to ask us. I'm sure if my dad had mentioned it to her she would have said yes as I love her to bits even though we're not especially close. My partner said maybe it's cos she'd rather have her daughters there but it's not like there is a limit on numbers and it would still be a small, intimate get-together. AIBU?

OP posts:
frootshoots · 14/11/2012 20:27

It's her birthday, she gets to choose who to spend it with. Would you really go along now knowing that you had to ask for an invitation? I wouldn't Confused

whois · 14/11/2012 20:28

Like you said they probably just didn't think, why don't you ask of you can go?

Joolsy · 14/11/2012 20:31

Yes frootshoots I agree, I wouldn't go along unless they'd asked us off their own back. But I don't think they have chosen NOT to invite us, I just think they concentrated on her family & didn't think of us.

OP posts:
Joolsy · 14/11/2012 20:32

I would also add that the main reason I'd like us to go along is I was going to get her something & would like to see her on her birthday and don't know when else I will see her as they don't live close.

OP posts:
frootshoots · 14/11/2012 20:34

Mention it then, in a lighthearted way. Just not quite sure how she would forget to invite her stepdaughter, especially if she is still with your dad.

Narrowboat · 14/11/2012 20:35

If there's too many people it all gets a bit chaotic, ESP with kids. Why not call back and suggest another celebration date of their choice and take your bd present along then?

I can see why you are upset but it's probably cock up rather than conspiracy

MammaTJ · 14/11/2012 20:36

Tell your dad that you think enough of her to want to celebrate her birthday and leave it with him. I am sure then the invitation will be forthcoming!

Joolsy · 14/11/2012 21:03

Thanks everyone! I like the suggestions.

OP posts:
ihavenofuckingclue · 14/11/2012 21:08

Maybe they didn't because you don't live close.

JaneFonda · 14/11/2012 21:12

It's always tough when step-family are involved - I'm sure she meant no offence by it. If partners are invited then it could turn into something really big, and if she doesn't want a fuss made that's understandable.

I would maybe take her out for a nice afternoon tea, that way it's special and you can spend some nice time together and also give her a lovely gift.

I'm certain it was nothing malicious, but I can understand why you would be a bit upset about it. :)

Joolsy · 14/11/2012 21:37

Myself & her other daughters live the same distance away. I'm sure it's just an oversight on their part (at least I hope it is!).

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page