Please help me now :(

[Flojo1979]

I've just got in from work half an hr ago. I'm in the kitchen cooking tea and washing breakfast pots.
DD nearly 4, has bitten DS (7) she has broken the skin, its bad.
I smacked the back of her hand :( and put her on the bottom step. I had locked the living room door (old fashion door with heavy slide lock)
She's currently on the other side kicking and screaming. What do I do? :(
Please talk me through it.

Why did I smack her? What should I have done to convey the seriousness?

She needs your help here as much as your DS does. She's probably totally overwhelmed with feelings about it all. You reacted in the moment and that will have had a big impact, but I wouldn't punish her any further. It's lovely that she's holding the compress - let her help to make it better and make sure she knows she's still loved.

I'd get the bite looked at just to be on the safe side - I don't know whether it's an urban myth that there are more germs in a human's mouth than in a dog's but human bites can be nasty.

Use your voice and time out /punishments - you don't have to smack, but completely your choice if you want to, I'm not anti smacking but ime it just didn't work with ds and inflamed the situation further.

It's a myth - the bite will be fine. I used to work for a dentist and she said you would be VERY unlucky to get anything from a human bite.

Especially one from your sibling!

Separate and deal with injured party, then a talking to.

Do you have house rules - no-one (including you) hits, shouts or tells tales. I think you need to apologise to her for the smack so she gets the message, a) hitting is wrong and b) apologising is right.

Don't fret though, no-one reacts perfectly everytime. It must have been horrible to see your ds' blood.

I've just sat her on my lap, she's all wet :(

Misread that as 'I've just sat on her lap' .....

OP - early bath, lots of cuddles and story, early bed for all of you and tomorrow's another day :)

Don't fret - I'm afraid it might just be the start! I have noticed my eldest two change and start to try and get the younger ones in trouble and the younger ones fighting or attention by playing up!!! I've resolved to myself that's family life ..... Sibling rivalry!! I remember to when I was a kid and boy did I have some scraps with my brother!!!

I think they change as they get older - DS1 was a gentle little one and is quite different now!!!! They pick up a lot from school and their peers.

You'll be fine - you sound like you're doing just fine. We've all had our moments I'm sure so don't worry. No one tells you how do be the best parent and all kids react differently to different situations. Parenting is bloody hard and there is no right or wrong way for any of us (within reason!!!)

What you did sounds quite normal and perhaps not what you wanted but you pulled it back. I had a lovely picture of the three of you on the sofa and your DD holding the compress on DSs leg

You'll be fine. We all learn from mistakes!

Oh flojo it's a nightmare, I had this the other day,my DS who is 5, bit his sister who is 18 months, he usually adores her, and I have no idea where it came from, but I too lost my rag and smacked his arse, he was as shocked as me, and now feels guilty every time he sees the bruise.

I'm sure things will settle down, it's changing because your DD is getting older, and is no longer the cute little play thing DS used to have, it will settle.

Please don't beat yourself up about the smack, it probably shocked the hell out of her, not a bad thing, even though you should apologise, as violence is wrong, the very point your making, I always find my kids respond really well to me apologising.

Can I just say, thankyou so much everyone. These days I don't know what I'd do without MN. It's got me through a lot of lonely nights and dealt with a lot of tricky situations!
Calm is now restored til the next time!