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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not want this woman near my son?

32 replies

wigglewiggle32 · 13/11/2012 16:17

Bit of background-
I live on the outskirts of a village that is full of very rich people. There is most def a click of 'yummy mummy's' who are actually really horrible and stuck up! I used to run the village toddler group and tbh it was awful. These woman would come and ignore me, whisper in the corner and not help at all. I used to make tea/coffee for them and run around after their kids. When my ds hit 2yrs old he turned into a bit of a monster. Im not stupid, I know his behaviour was pretty horrid. He was very boisterous and snatchy. I would always tell him off though, I even started bringing his pushchair in to strap him in for time outs as i was always to busy running round after everyone else. My point is I wasnt like them, I didnt sit in the corner and ignore my childs bad behaviour. There were several occasions I had to intervene when their childen were behaving badly but nothing was ever said.
One time I was there and it got a bit nasty. I was supervising at the playframe when one of the boys kept pushing in, my son took great offense tp this and gave him a push (he of course wailed loudly) cue other mum coming over and muttering. I then got evils from the rest of her gang.
It happened again but the other boy pulled my son off the stairs and piched him HARD on the cheek, so he got another shove. This is when it all kicked off. I had several mums shouting/swearing in my face telling me my child was vile. Ever since then Ive had evil looks and been ignored etc.
The one mum who seems to be the leader of the gang has just been vile to me for the past couple of years, they dont like me, I was told it was because I wasnt a villager (???!!) there are only 2 of them who have children in my sons year (thank god)

Anyway, ds started school in September and has been getting on really well. At parents evening I was told he was the most popular boy in reception and how the other children fight over him! This was a relief as Ive always been worried since the incident above that no one would like him (he soon gew out of his terrible 2's)
The leader of the nasty mums has started helping out in the reception class. She takes the children on a 1 to 1 basis to do little bits of extra work. My son has been flagged as a high achiever and they want him to do extra harder work with this mum.

I dont want the cow anywhere near him!
So, AIBU to say this to the teacher?? The woman never even aknowledges me, and gives me snide looks ffs! I never ever make a fuss, never complain etc but I actually feel quite strongly about this. I just dont know if Im being a bit oversensitive? As far as Im concerned this woman is a bully, and actually Im not afraid to tell the teacher this! But then the other side to me says not to rock the boat for my sons sake. Help

OP posts:
WitchesTit · 14/11/2012 15:31

You aren't being vindictive, In Light of the way you've been treated by this woman and with her outspoken prejudice against farm people. You are defending your child.
I would definitely ask the teacher that any extra help for your son come from her, a professional, rather than a volunteer.

ChaoticismyLife · 14/11/2012 16:35

I wouldn't trust this woman as far as I could throw her and I wouldn't touch her with a 10ft barge pole.

YANBU

BlueberryHill · 14/11/2012 16:51

I would certainly question a volunteer working with my child, in quite a different way from a paid employee. I would only question the latter if there had been incidents at the school and then I would raise it.

In this instance, she sounds spiteful and I wouldn't trust her professionally based on the comments about 'rif raf' and which families to 'avoid'. I feel that anyone who could seriously say that I would not trust with my childs education. Keep it objective and impersonal if you do raise it.

Peas, whilst you would hope that she could see past her previous behaviour and comments, I would doubt it. I'm sure she'll find some other way of being a bitch.

MammaTJ · 14/11/2012 17:40

Is she 12, this is certainly what her behaviour indicates. I would not want her near my child at all!

Do try to be objective and not like a whining 12 year old youself, a hard balance to strike.

It really doesn't sound as though she will be able to be proffessional and unbiased, an essential when being a TA!

PrettyHairClips · 14/11/2012 17:50

She's 'stuck up' yet her profession is 'teaching assistant'?

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 14/11/2012 17:57
oldraver · 14/11/2012 19:19

I think I would definitely have to mention to the teacher that you are concerned as she has warned other families not to be friendly with you.

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