I have a good friend. She's always on standby for an emergency and I have only had to use her once or twice. I probably help her out more, because she works and I don't, so I tend to pick her little one up from school maybe once a week and I don't mind at all because she is a very kind and good person.
So much so that her other good friend often puts on her (although the friend does return the favours, so I guess they both benefit).
Trouble is, the friend, who I know a bit, has started asking me to help in non emergency situations and at first I kept saying yes and we have done at least one help for them once a week. Then I realised the favours weren't ever returned, no thank-yous, last minute requests by text for lifts or pick ups because she was stuck at the shops with her hubby etc.
Her kids are at junior and mine at infants. She has lots of friends in Junior whom she goes out with (we don't hang out) so I find it weird why she doesn't ask them, when she doesn't know me that well. She doesn't work, like me.
Her husband works away alot. She won't ask his (fit and healthy) MOm who lives opposite the school for help, either. She won't ask her husband to take the day off if it is something big (my husband has to book time off if necessary and I have had to call on the inlaws in the odd emergency).
Thing is, she just assumes I will help, maybe because our mutual friend is softer or maybe because she sees me helping our mutual friend - and I really don't want to anymore - unless it's an emergency, of course. I simply want to collect my kids and go home. Or, I wouldn't mind as much if the favours were returned.
By association of my kindhearted friend I feel I am now being put on by this other woman.
The one time she went on holiday with her hubby on term time and I was volunteered to help ferry the kids around etc. I wish somebody would help me out so I could go away.
Thing is how do I get out of it (at first, when I volunteered I didn't realise she would take advantage or not reciprocate the favours)? I've been told to say I am busy until she gets the message. But my kindhearted friend would know I am lying.
I have considered chatting to our mutual friend. But their friendship is much older than ours. Their families go out together. I don't think the mutual friend realises that I have never had any favours returned, and maybe if she did she would understand. I don't want to rock the boat.
Plus, I have some personal issues at the moment in my relationship, and I don't want the stress.