To not go to the actual wedding ceremony

[PenisColada]

My oldest school friend and her long term partner are getting married in a few weeks.

They have 3 dc and no other dc invited to the wedding. All good.

Wedding at 2pm sit down meal at 4ish evening do at 8ish.

We have babysitters but I am dreading a long drawn out affair. I am not keen on and don't know the other guests.

Do you think they would actually notice if we did not go to the actual marriage and just rocked up for the formal sit down bit ?

It is a civil ceremony at the same venue as the meal and evening do.

If she noticed do you think she would mind ?

There's no 'guess' about it, it would be rude ... If you and your DH can't put yourselves out for a few hours to celebrate the wedding of what is a supposed close friend then that's very poor indeed. Or do her a favour and don't go.

I missed the ceremony once (we got stuck in traffic), and it really upset the father of the bride. He thought we'd just turned up for free food and couldn't be bothered otherwise. It was really awkward.

I think it would be a bit odd tbh. I would go to the ceremony and meal as you suggest, and skip the evening do (or leave early) if you want.

Does it make a big difference anyway? A civil ceremony is usually no more than about 15 minutes!

Agree it would be rude to miss the ceremony. I'd be very annoyed if a guest missed the ceremony and only turned up for the meal, unless they had a very very good excuse. And unless the wedding is absolutely massive, chances are they'll notice.

My friend and her partner "couldn't remember whether my wedding started at 1 or 2" so arrived at a quarter to 2, the ceremony was at 1 so they missed the actual wedding part of the wedding but were there for the mulled wine and canapes. I was too happy on the day to mind but in retrospect I am seriously at their rudeness