Angry that my son heard a woman slagging us off

[queencat]

Today has not been the best of days. My middle child has ASD and today she was particularly high maintenance.

We stop in at the supermarket on way back from dancing. Middle child hits youngest in supermarket so youngest is wailing. All hell breaks loose. The oldest decides to disciple his sister my grabbing her arms. So middle child now starts screaming.i shout at both of them to stop it.

I get my things and go to the till, where the youngest is still hysterical, and it was a bloody self service jobby.

I tell the eldest child to sit on the bench next to a young couple with a baby in a pram.

Youngest is still screaming and middle child is now arsing around with the bags. So again I raise my voice to stop it.

We leave and are back to the car and my son burst into tears that those people said we were a horrible family and what a terrible mother I was that I couldn't control my children.

First of all I'm really bloody upset that he is upset and second of all I'm angry that someone would talk that way in front of him.

Aibu

YANBU. How fucking rude thoughtless and judgemental of that woman! Poor you and your DS.

I don't have children but when I see a parent (it happens to Dad's too!) struggling and they catch my eye,I try to give a kind of "don't worry,shit happens" kind of look though. Though a woman once looked like she was going to punch me so I may not be very successfully conveying that look.

The only time I ever think 'bad parent' is when I see people shouting things like "do as you're told you little fucking bitch/bastard/shit" and so on at full volume.

• and even then it's only a thought,that I keep in my own head.

OP as an aside, if DS has taken on the role of "man of the house" you really need to try and nip that in the bud. One of my DDs has done similar and is now a complete nightmare. Maybe try explaining to him that as the parent it is your job to sort these things out and what you need from your little boy is for him to do what you tell him, ie behave himself and let you get on with it. Just make sure he understands that he can still help unpack the shopping and stick the kettle on for you

And those judgy parents will get their comeuppance, guaranteed.

Just wanted to say mine did exactly this in the supermarket today and with no ASD or tough break up to deal with.

Nowadays I blithely ignore judgey loons if the DC are playing up but I remember when I became a single parent with DS1 and those judgements would destroy me on a bad day. How vicious of them to say such things in earshot of your DS too.

Worth bearing in mind that DCs who are happy, secure and loved will play up sometimes. It's the ones who are too terrified to push boundaries I worry about.

Please don't let this horrible comment undermine you. It sounds like you're doing a fab job after a difficult time.

A series of cock ups led to me taking exhausted toddler DD and overexcited DS to the supermarket at half past five (I know, I know). DD was overwrought and being loud and bouncy, DS tried to 'discipline' her by chasing her around the shop and grabbing her.
Got them to stop tearing about but they still fought like weasels till I made DS move away from us!
Sounds almost exactly the same as yours so please don't worry. I doubt I'd have even noticed you. The judgey family would definitely have annoyed me though.