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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my Son to be quiet?

52 replies

fluffypillow · 08/11/2012 20:14

My DS came home from School with a sponsorship form today. It's for a sponsored silence.

He is yr 5 (10yrs), and is in a class with year 6's also.

They are to be silent ALL DAY, apart from break and lunch to raise money for book sets for the class. A total of 5 hours.

I think this is a complete waste of time.

If it had been a sponsored run, bounce, read, times table, skip, dance, swim etc.... then great! Any of these things would have enhanced learning/fitness, and would have been fun for the children.......but a sponsored silence?

My DS says it will be so boring, and I can't disagree.

I think his Teacher has very little in the way of imagination tbh or maybe she wants a quiet day

I don't think a class of children of this age should be missing time from their learning for something like this. I mean, they won't be able to do group work that day, or ask the Teacher questions. It's not right IMO.

Any other sponsored event would take no more than an hour from the School day.

I also feel a bit miffed that the School have reserves in the PTA account of over 12 grand, and the kids are being asked to be quiet all day, and to get their parents to fork out the money for new books.

I must add that we always support our DCs Schools very generously, but I think this is a piss take.

AIBU?

OP posts:
IfNotNowThenWhen · 08/11/2012 21:14

It will be. And it's good for children to do things they find hard. FGS they are not being sent down mines or up chimneys. Silence can be extremely restorative, and meditative.

squoosh · 08/11/2012 21:15

YABU

The little darlings don't need to be expressing themselves 24/7.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 08/11/2012 21:15

It will be a learning experience I mean!

Original poster
fluffypillow · 08/11/2012 21:16

I wouldn't mind so much if the Teacher had specified what tasks the children will be completing that day, or if there will be any fun games played to make it more interesting.

I just feel like we have to give them money ,and permission to tell our children to keep their mouths shut.

OP posts:
mymatemax · 08/11/2012 21:18

maybe I should learn to spell & type!

cricketballs · 08/11/2012 21:19

when we did this once it was really interesting for the students to understand the different ways we could communicate. We gave the students a mini whiteboard and pen for the day, but we also took it to the extreme and said for one lesson that writing was banned and they had to communicate using pictures etc. To be honest not only was it a brilliant day for the staff no headache tablets needed that day but it was a real learning experience for the students as they learnt that you didn't need to be the loudest voice to be heard.

Op - lots of learning happened that day (including the normal academic!)

mymatemax · 08/11/2012 21:20

oh & when a class in my ds's school did this they all spent the wk before learning some basic sign language.

Original poster
fluffypillow · 08/11/2012 21:24

I'm actually really glad I posted this, as I was all for going in tomorrow and telling the Teacher that he wouldn't be taking partBlush

Starting to see it from a different point of view now.

MAYBE I AB a teeny weeny BU Wink only maybe though Grin

OP posts:
Mrsjay · 08/11/2012 21:27

MAYBE I AB a teeny weeny BU only maybe though

just a ikkle bitty bit Grin that is ok you are allowed to be

BraaaaaainsButterfield · 08/11/2012 21:29

They don't need "fun games to make it interesting" - the whole day will be interesting! They're children and new experiences are interesting.

Catree · 08/11/2012 21:32

In a school I worked at one of the teachers lost her voice partway through the day and chose to keep teaching her class through written communication.

The children found it hilarious!! And they all wanted to join in!! Lots of white boards and miming and pointing. Not to mention laughter and giggles!!

If the class embrace it and have fun with it, (and the teacher has a good sense of humour) it can be a really good learning experience.

UltraBOF · 08/11/2012 21:34

I'm not sure about it- I imagine it might be very challenging for pupils with some special needs (ADHD, lots of other things), and could be setting them up to fail, and/or suffer the wrath of their peers if they spoil it. How does the teacher plan to deal with that aspect of it?

lovebunny · 08/11/2012 21:34

take him out of school and educate him yourself. you can listen to him talk all day. you'll both enjoy that and the school will be able to get on with their work without your moaning.

MoleyMick · 08/11/2012 21:34

I'm 29, we used to do sponsored silences at primary school, agree it was great fun, allowed for creativity and its only a day, after all.

bigbuttons · 08/11/2012 21:37

Why don't you go and ask the teacher what communication ideas she/he will be giving to the children before the silence starts?
Ask her what she hopes they will gain from the experience educationally and otherwise.( in the nicest possible way).
Ask her whether they will have time to discuss their experiences of the day, what they have enjoyed, learned and what they would do differently if they were to do it again.

Mumsyblouse · 08/11/2012 21:41

Well, for children with communication difficulties such as one of my dd's classmates who can't speak, this is an everyday occurence to be overcome- for her it would be great to find out what this is like (they already have to be pretty adaptive).

I don't think you are unreasonable for thinking initially that it was a bit unimaginative and boring (I don't mysef), however I think you are completely unreasonable to have thought of withdrawing your child from a sponsored class event. Why could your child not have just fitted in and been a bit bored for one day of their lives? Do they have to be pandered to in some special way, can they not simply suck up what the teacher has decided for one day?

I work in a university and I see the consequences of this over interfering parenting all the time, I even have students aged 19/20 threatening to get their parents in if they get told off, say, by campus staff.

Let him deal with the boredom/lack of interest/think it through himself. I hate this trend for rushing up to the school at every opportunity, save it for real problems.

Original poster
fluffypillow · 08/11/2012 21:43

lovebunny, believe it or not, I'm not the sort of person who moans at the School. I have in fact been in to a Teacher with a complaint only once in the 5 years my son has been there.

I would actually love to have him talk to me all day, but I wouldn't home school as I think he is in a fantastic school, and am very appreciative of it. I was just unsure of the sponsored silence. I have now seen it from a different point of view.

ultra- I wonder about this too. One boy in the class has ADHD, and the Teacher has a hard time with him day to day. We shall see.

OP posts:
Original poster
fluffypillow · 08/11/2012 21:50

Wow mumsyblouse, bit harsh and judgemental.

We don't pander to our children at all. We were mainly concerned that he would be missing valuable learning time, but now I can see there is an opportunity for learning through this.

For your information my children mostly deal with their own issues at school. My elder son(15) won't have us get involved with his problems at school, and is very capable of sorting himself out, thank you.

OP posts:
GhostShip · 08/11/2012 21:56

Yabu.

Nothing wrong with it at all

I actually did one last year at work for charity! Was quite a challenge

Mumsyblouse · 08/11/2012 22:00

Yes, perhaps it was a bit harsh. Just surprised you were prepared to go in and withdraw a child from a sponsorship event, especially as I can't see how that would have helped him anyway if he was sitting outside the room by himself (presumably in silence!)

Original poster
fluffypillow · 08/11/2012 22:11

Well yes, mumsyblouse, there is that, hadn't really thought it through tbh, and would have talked myself out of it by the time I reached the school gates.

Anyway, he will be taking part, and I will explain the benefits of this kind of event to him. I feel more able to do that now, after some helpful advice on here. It would have been helpful if the Teacher had explained a bit about her plans for the day. All we got was a form saying THE CHILDREN WILL NOT BE PERMITTED TO TALK ALL DAY. Not very informative, or inspiring.

OP posts:
mymatemax · 08/11/2012 22:17

ultrabof, should be no different to any other activity the school must differentiate for any that need it.

pamish · 08/11/2012 22:26

They could learn some BSL beforehand. As it's the second most used language in this country after English, that would be a long-term asset anyway. I don't know why it's not taught before any other language, I wish I'd learnt it when I was 6 or 7, just a bit of everyday vocabulary to be polite. Handy in noisy pubs too.

UltraBOF · 08/11/2012 22:26

Yes, but the other kids might not appreciate that- I'm just imagining children who might already have social difficulties having the other kids roll their eyes at them or worse. Silence is not an especially fluid concept, compared to other tasks, is it?

ConfusedPixie · 08/11/2012 22:27

I remember doing this at a sleepover with the Girls Brigade when I was a child, it was on pancake night too. It as great fun! We had silent games, communication games, pancake flipping (which was hilarious as the leaders couldn't tell us any techniques, so lots of pancakes went on the floor!), hide and seek in a fucking huge, scary, pitch black church, etc. I kno it's not the same in school but I'll bet they have fun, so YABU.