Well AIBU

[KelperRose]

Im ask­ing for advice and opin­ions on how you would han­dle this sit­u­a­tion

My son, 19, left col­lege ear­lier this year and even­tu­ally signed on at the end of August when the casual work he had at his Uncles café dried up and all his job appli­ca­tions were unsuc­cess­ful

Since then he has been sanc­tioned twice (once for being 3 mins late to a group ses­sion at no fault of his own , but which I think fuelled his atti­tude ?of you have treated me unfairly so why should I respect you ?atti­tude?

They then after the sanc­tion rec­om­mended him for ?a work place­ment? and he went to the com­pany (JHP) for an ini­tial inter­view and the guy there told him your here and you?ve been put on a work place­ment ?as a pun­ish­ment?

He, rightly or wrongly walked out and said some­thing along the lines ?being pun­ished for being 3 mins late to a group who?s best advice on how to find a job was ?look on the inter­net for vacan­cies?

He also asked ?if? work place­ments were the great gov­ern­ment scheme to help peo­ple into work why are you admit­ting you are putting me on this for pun­ish­ment (his think­ing here was if he hadn?t been 3 mins late he would not have been referred for a work place­ment)

. he also asked ?If I go and stick price labels on stuff at the back of a char­ity shop for a month do you really think I?d put that on my CV when I have skills and qual­i­fi­ca­tions already , what does that say about me other than I was unem­ployed and put on a workscheme?

They then sanc­tioned his job seek­ers again.?.then sus­pended it indef­i­nitely . Then sent him p45 form say­ing he was obvi­ously not enti­tled to JSA as he did not want a job!!!!!!

We now have Alas­dair Dar­ling MP , and Andrew Burns leader of the Edin­burgh coun­cil involved too but , but this is my point.?.?.?.?.?.?.?

I cre­ated in part his atti­tude towards the DWP, Job Cen­tres and work place­ments so should I just suck it up and con­tinue pay­ing for him (food, travel, roof over his head, clothes, hob­bies etc) or should should I say .?..you?re unem­ployed and until you get the means to sup­port your­self your going have to suck it up and play ball with what­ever they want you to do for £56 a week

I?d really appre­ci­ate some views , thanks coz I?m torn between going ?gonna my son It is shit, it wrong and I?ll sup­port you? and ?Well you need to stand on your two feet

[Sausagedog27]

Oh and my brother left uni last year, couldn't get a job which related to his course, but got some hours at McDonald's in the short term- he is now having management training with them. Not where he thought he would end up, but earning good money and gaining valuable experience and responsibility.

[mrskeithrichards]

Or tell him to take a walk round the fort or the gyle or somewhere like that but quickly - many will be filling their Christmas temp jobs soon!

[KelperRose]

Sirzy ..........well he he looking for a job day in and day out ........is that not enough?

[Bogeyface]

He i unemployed and skint and getting shafted left right and centre by th job centre

No he isnt and your "everyone elses fault" attitude is really pissing me off.

You want shafted? I'll give you shafted!

Shafted is having cerebal palsy, with proof of the brain damage from his CT scan ( :( ) but not being "disabled enough" for DLA. Shafted is not being disabled enough for ESA either and having to jump through the JSA hoops. Shafted is being disabled but because he doesnt get DLA he isnt entitled to any other help that is given to those with extra needs. Shafted is having his mother fight his corner for 20+ years, having her help him to be as independent as possible and then having that used as a reason to not give him any support at all, because he clearly doesnt need it. Shafted is getting through to a second round of interviews for a job that was his in all but name, and then getting dropped because of his disability but not being able to prove as the person who told us couldnt risk their own job by being a whistle blower.

Shafted is NOT being asked to do what the other 2.something million people in the UK are asked to do in order to get his JSA money. Shafted is NOT being expected to pull his head out of his arse and take responsibility for himself.

I hope you have no plans for his room, because at this rate you will still be wiping his bum for him in 20 years.

[Sirzy]

Obviously it's not enough.

Is he being to selective of what he applies for? He seems to have an "I am too good for that attitude"

Does he do any voluntary work or anything else to boost his CV and employability?

[Purple2012]

kelper,i am guessing that the other thing he was sanctioned for must be something you know he did wrong or you would have answered the question.

Bogey - i hope things get better soon.

[mrskeithrichards]

Has he tried all the shops?

I cut my teeth in retail (hark at me sounding like a dragon!) and I love it. I only work part time now in a totally different field but most years I dip my toe back in with a Christmas job - helps pay for the season as well!

[Bogeyface]

And you know what else?

20 years ago, when my son was almost 2 years old I was told that he may never walk, talk or live an independent life. I was distraught, I was heartbroken and I was frightened of what our futures would hold.

Today, he wont move in with his GF because he cant pay his way and will wait as long as it takes. He worked at a charity shop until he went back to college (he wasnt allowed to do both and sign on). He has determination and a good work ethic.

20 years ago I would have envied you your healthy son, now I think that i got the better deal.

[Bogeyface]

Thanks Purple I keep the faith that Karma will make it happen for him soon.

Think I will have to hide this thread.

[CaptainHoratioWragge]

Good grief, if he really thinks having an education and skills to put on his cv is preferable to experience actually working somewhere, even as a volunteer, he is NEVER going to get a job.

Employers need to see that he can turn up everyday, even if it is to do something he doesn't like doing, because, unless your a member of the Rolling Stones, work can be like that....

Stropping off is not going to help him one little bit, and you'd been doing him a favour to not bankroll him and let him learn his lesson sooner rather than later.

[Purple2012]

Im sure it will Bogey. One day he will get a good job,move in with his girlfriend and live a happy life.

[marriedinwhite]

Two choices really. You pay him an allowance whilst he looks for another job or he claims one via jobseekers/unemployment and follows the rules they require for him to do so.

What work experience does he have? What's wrong with working in a charity shop pricing items in return for receiving "free" money? Has it occurred to you that the people in the charity shop might provide a reference for legitimate job applications that refers to things like "reliable, helpful, mature, willing, a credit to any future employer".

One might even ask why, if he can't get paid work, he hasn't taken up a few charitable activities of his own volition?

[kinkyfuckery]

Bogeyface

The system is an absolute cunt at times. I hope your son keeps his smile on his face and gets a break soon.

[Bogeyface]

Kinky He said a while back, when I was having a mad rant about him not getting a job that he was perfect for, that he wouldnt want to work for a company that wouldnt give him a chance and told me to chill!
Bit teary now :(

[stinkinseamonkey]

he does sound like a good'un bogeyface! he'll get there soon, and when he does he'll be a much appreciated member of someone's team/buisness x

[foslady]

he also asked ?If I go and stick price labels on stuff at the back of a char­ity shop for a month do you really think I?d put that on my CV when I have skills and qual­i­fi­ca­tions already , what does that say about me other than I was unem­ployed and put on a workscheme?

It shows he's adaptable, a great team player and excellent customer services. It shows that he's comfortable amongst both those above and below on the career ladder. It show he is reliable, can get up in a morning and manage a full days work.

So what does getting your mother to write to an MP stating the JC is shafting him tell an employer? (btw are you aware some employers do google prospective employees names........?)

[foslady]

Bogey can I just wish your son all the luck possible in getting a job soon - and that his comment was him having a bad day.......

[holidaysarenice]

Oooo I just have to post.

10 days ago I decided I needed a few extra pennies for some upcoming bills. See I live in a real world.

I applied for a 'sticking labels on things' type of job... I.e. Christmas temp in retail.

I have no retail experience (lots of healthcare tho) AND A DEGREE!!!

I used those things called transferable skills, past the interview and START tomorrow.

So your son can come with his degree and his no experience...wait no... sticking labels on things isn't good enough for him.

[mutny]

Its not hard to see where he gets his attitude from.

Honestly op, what advice are you looking for?

[mrskeithrichards]

Feel free to p.m. me about the labouring work op.

[Casperthefriendlyspook]

Loads of bar and waiting jobs being advertised for over Christmas in Edinburgh OP.... I see them almost daily on my way to/from work.... Many say no experience needed. A wander along the Grassmarket might prove fruitful in finding a temp job. When I graduated (a good few years ago, admittedly) I was willing to take anything until I found something I actually wanted to do. Wasn't a bad learning experience...

[Fairenuff]

He should have taken the charity shop job. My friend's 19 year old, 6ft ds was sent to be an elf in Santa's grotto last Christmas. Full green costume, red hat and red pointy 'one size fits all' shoes. That charity shop job doesn't sound too bad now, does it

On the other hand, he is perfectly entitled to refuse the work and opt out of JSA. They are there to offer employment, not force it on him but he can't have the money if he refuses the work. Sounds fair to me, what's his problem really?

[ImaginateMum]

One of my good friends, already a highly qualified and experienced lawyer, took a job as a toilet attendant when she first moved to London - it was afternoon and evenings, leaving mornings for job hunting. It wasn't for long and it brought in money. The Golden Circle law firm that hired her were really impressed, said it showed she was a grafter not a princess.

She was hired over other highly qualified and experienced lawyer because she handed out loo paper and wiped basins for a few weeks - this is what OP's son needs to recognise. OP too maybe.

(Gave her some pretty decent anecdotes too - all sorts happens in posh loos!)

[ChristineDaae]

Bogey your sons sounds lovely. OP - I worked in mcdonalds, then waitresses right through my teens. I have thankfully never had to sign on and by 19 had moved to a different island than my parents and now work 2 jobs. (one a very cushy bank job, that they told me get liked me fit due to a serious lack of gaps in my CV since I turned 16) and one waitressing, because it's what iv always done and I enjoy it (and it pays some bills!)

[KelperRose]

thank you for your replies.

he didn't walk out of work placement, he walked out of the company JHP when they told him he was being put on work placement as a 'punishment'

He has work experience , he has been employed in several part time jobs whilst at school and college , then it dried up

Several posters recommended the kick him at the door at 9am and tell him to go and look for work.

He's done that and has found that whatever shop/cafe/restaurant he walks into the answer is always the same 'all our vacancies are advertised on-line, apply on-line........I think the days of just turning up somewhere and saying 'have you got any jobs' are long gone?

I'd like to ask though if there are any members here who would be willing to have a look over his cv and perhaps suggest improvements?