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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sorry, another rude freecycle one

74 replies

moogstera1 · 08/11/2012 09:51

offered a car roof box on freecycle. Not a cheap item to buy and it's in really good nick.
About half the replies simply say something like "yes please" or "I'll have it"
AIBU to think just a couple of polite words are common courtesy when trying to be offered something worth at least £100

OP posts:
SecretCervix · 08/11/2012 10:14

It doesn't take long!

silverten · 08/11/2012 10:14

Having said that I've been caught out by some people posting sob stories about setting up their first home after a catastrophic fire that killed their budgie, who then didn't bother to turn up after going to the effort of arranging collection and everything.

Some people seem to enjoy messing others about...

amck5700 · 08/11/2012 10:17

I don't like all the made up or otherwise reasons tbh - i'd rather get a polite "i'd like it thanks if it's still available" or even a "me please" would do - at the end of the day you are giving something away that you don't want and can't be bothered selling - if they are picking it up then i view that they are doing me a favoiur as well so unless they are rude or cheeky then I just give it to whoever asks first.

EdsRedeemingQualities · 08/11/2012 10:17

Well Paivaiso it just means that if you repliedto anything I was offering, you'd probably get ignored and someone like the OP, or me, would be more likely in with a chance.

So it's up to you and no need for the FFS.

MrsDeVere · 08/11/2012 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theDudesmummy · 08/11/2012 10:19

I have to say that when I put things up for offer for free on Gumtree, which I do pretty often (baby/toddler stuff so far), and I get a lot of replies, I tend to pick the ones that say something a litle more than basically "I want it so give it to me" (which is surprisingly the majority) .

I choose the ones who give a little backstory eg "It woud be great to have your cot/clothes etc as I have a baby/ little boy etc who could really use them".

ByTheWay1 · 08/11/2012 10:20

I give to whoever asks first - in the listing I always put when I want it collected - if the first one to answer can't/doesn't collect it then, I go to the next...

If you are giving something away you set the collection terms (it is not like when someone is paying money for it) ... then there's no messing about - be ruthless!!

theDudesmummy · 08/11/2012 10:20

PS long sob story would also eliminate someone for me, generally.

ImperialFireworksInMyKnickers · 08/11/2012 10:21

Just checked back, OP hadn't realised it was EdsRedeemingQualities who wanted people to grovel, not you, so apols Grin

EdsRedeemingQualities · 08/11/2012 10:22

Yes a sob story would make me go Hmm but a reason for wanting the blooming thing and an assurance it would be used well goes a long way - without being OTT.

It's just friendly conversation, like if someone speaks to you at school and says 'can you look after my child' - you'd be a bit hesitant, unless you knew them, but if they said 'please could you look after my child as I have booked an appt and it's at the same time as pick up, and I can't change it' you would consider their reasons and probably agree.

EdsRedeemingQualities · 08/11/2012 10:23

Actually I didn't say anyone should grovel. I think you'll find that was someone called ManifestingMinge.

TwitchyTail · 08/11/2012 10:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sashh · 08/11/2012 10:25

I delete the rude ones too.

The ones that say, "call me NOW, I will pick up in 20 mins"

slartybartfast · 08/11/2012 10:25

a sob story coudl well be a lie anyway.
just make the decision op [grin

ManifestingMingeHooHoosAgain · 08/11/2012 10:37

No I didn't say I expect anyone to grovel either Grin

Just an email that mentions the item (so I know it's not an automated - I'll have it response)

Preferably starting with Hi and containing please or thankyou somewhere.

Like

Hi I would like the toaster if it's still available, thanks, Bob

Rather than

When can I pick it up
sent from my iPhone

ManifestingMingeHooHoosAgain · 08/11/2012 10:39

People can choose whether or not to be polite, that's up to them.

But they don't get offered stuff by me if they CBA to have a tiny bit of courtesy. No grovelling required.

OnwardBound · 08/11/2012 10:41

I also give away a bit on freecycle. Sometimes quite good condition, expensive stuff.

I also like a bit of a backstory and a sense of communicating with a person who would be grateful for said item and will make use of it.

Not a sob story about their personal circumstances but a genuine sounding "We could really use the toddler bed, our little boy has just grown out of his cot. We can pick up asap when is convenient for you. Thanks for your consideration" or somesuch.

These sort of replies always get my attention and I respond to them first. I also extend the same friendliness and courtesy when I request something on freecycle.

It's not about making someone beg for your charity but most of us like to get something out of the exchange if possible, that something being a warm glow that we have been able to help a nice person who needed our unwanted item. Surely that makes sense?

Of course whatever the person then chooses to do with the item once it is theirs is up to them, whether they re-freecycle it or sell it on ebay or whatever.

But the "I'll take it" responses make me think it is someone who trawls freecycle purely for the purpose of selling the item on and I would prefer for my donation to go to someone who genuinely needs it and will use it.

letsgomaths · 08/11/2012 21:46

I use Freecycle a lot, both for giving and receiving. If I am giving, I offer it to the first person who replies, who is reliable enough to collect it.

When replying to an offer I would like, I usually say "I would like x if still available". But it didn't occur to me at all that Freecyclers would really vet the replies for "most grovelling", "most back story", etc. Many of us don't have hours and hours to spare, and indeed, if something good is offered, you want to reply before someone else takes it.

Phineyj · 08/11/2012 21:52

I have found the politeness of the request is often a good proxy for whether they'll be polite enough to actually turn up and collect the item at the time arranged, or at all.

I have stopped using Freecycle after waiting in for people so many times who just didn't show.

dolcegusto123 · 08/11/2012 21:57

I have never been on freecycle so not sure how it works but I would expect the person to say something along the lines of a simple 'I am interested in this item. I would be grateful if you would contact me regarding this on [telephone num]'.

BellaVita · 08/11/2012 21:58

See I hate the bloody sob stories, really I do.

We offered a roasting tin last week...some of the replies were...

Single mum with two kids, have no money
Student with no money
Old one going rusty - no money to buy a new one.

I told DH to give it to the person that said simply "I would like it please if it is still available".

Blipbipbeep · 08/11/2012 22:01

the best reply I ever had was when I offered a hoover that I described as virtually new but really crap quality (it was true I hated the thing), a girl wrote a short paragraph detailing her recent vacuuming disasters culminating with her last one sucking things up and then depositing them in neat little piles all around the room - she made me laugh and got the damn machine Grin. one of the replies did try to stick up for that particular brand of hoover and she was a close second place.

YANBU. If it a popular item you need more than "I'll take this off your hands" to make a judgement on who to give it to

PickledFanjoCat · 08/11/2012 22:03

ed I love yours you have made up a whole back story and everything! Grin

LineRunner · 08/11/2012 22:04

I would say

'Hello, I just saw your Freecycle ad for the car roof box and it's just what we are looking for. If it's still available we would love to be able to take it off your hands! This is my number: 666-6666, if you would like to text me, and and we'll be round at your convenience. Many thanks. Liney.'

How is this grovelling? I think it's polite and friendly.

pamish · 08/11/2012 22:04

When I put things on Freecycle I just delete the 'I want it' replies which I presume are auto-responses. I leave it 24 hours, then I put the rest in a hat and pick at random. I don't just give to first one in, as that cuts out people who can''t be monitoring FC all day/don't have access to PC. Sometimes it goes to the best story if particularly interesting. For the rare times when I ask for stuff, I would always say, briefly, why I want it. I've been challenged that this discriminates against those who don't write well, or are not native English speakers. Sorry, they can add something personal even if they can't spell. Good practice.

Freecycle rocks, it's a brilliant idea and I've used it for years. If people don't show, it's annoying but there's always another in the queue, and often I just leave stuff for them hidden in the front yard, not had problems with that.