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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think if they are taking MY child benefit away the letter should come to ME?

129 replies

PanicMode · 08/11/2012 08:13

I don't want to start another debate about the fact CB is going - it IS going to hurt us as we have four children, but we'll have to live without it!

However, I am so cross that although the CB comes directly to me, the letter has gone to my husband. AIBU to feel as though the Govt have turned 50 years of feminism on its head and turned me back into a chattel?!

OP posts:
SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 08/11/2012 20:40

So are't they going to have to put more staff on the helplines to cope with the influx of people who won't have a clue what they're doing??

Original poster
PanicMode · 08/11/2012 20:45

It's not my DH who is losing out - it's our household. As we have four children, it's worth almost £250 a month, which is about £5k before tax - a not inconsiderable amount. It's not 'his' money or 'my' money but 'our' money - and in fact in this case it goes straight into the children - clothes, books, shoes etc.

I'm obviously in the minority of women on here who think that it's now ok that the independence that women fought so hard for, in terms of their own tax affairs, has now been lost again.....

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 08/11/2012 20:50

Jesus fucking Christ, talk about making mountains into molehills!

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 08/11/2012 20:54

presumably you prefer to not be treated as an equal partner

catgirl1976 · 08/11/2012 20:56

But.........if you consider the CB to be "household" income and not "your" money, why start a thread stating you consider it firmly to be "yours"? Confused

They wrote to me about my tax affairs. They wrote to your DH about his.

Doesn't sound sexist to me. Just sensible.

notactuallyme · 08/11/2012 21:12

lisaro I'm not holding them accountable, I'm stating a fact. The claim pack was given to me in hospital, I never mentioned it, he never really knew about it. That's all.

sweetkitty · 08/11/2012 21:22

Panic mode - I feel the exact same, 4 DC nearly £250 a month, 5K loss before tax, given that DH hasn't had a pay rise in 2 years, not likely to get one this year either, we will feel it too.

The whole almost 100K family income thing v 60K single income thing really annoys me plus all the self employed people who can just "hide" earnings and still get it on way above 60K.

NewRowSees · 08/11/2012 21:22

Maybe yours is in the post? We both got one in my house, only DP got his a day before me. The CB payments currently go into my account, so I was initially a bit confused, but seems like all is well.

ceeveebee · 08/11/2012 21:47

Exactly catgirl.
OP, which is it - your money or household money?

onelittleclara · 08/11/2012 22:33

DH recieved his today. He doesn't understand (and neither do I)how legally that if I have claimed a benefit without his agreement or signature and only I have the power to cancel the benefit, he is taxed for it? He cannot control my finances, but my actions control his?

FourthTimeAround · 08/11/2012 22:33

sweetkitty

I'm with you on this one. It's sh*t on stilts, it really is. What makes me laugh is the government bangs on about people living off the state and then punishes working people by increasing their tax, so disincentivising middle earners from working

FourthTimeAround · 08/11/2012 22:35

Another good point! Think I'd better go and open that flipping brown envelope!

KatAndKit · 08/11/2012 22:52

onelittleclara I agree with you about that. the problem with this benefit reform is that is totally erodes the principle of a couple's tax affairs being separate.

Original poster
PanicMode · 09/11/2012 06:03

Onelittleclara bangs the nail on the head.

I claim the benefit but I choose to put it straight into the household pot. I don't see that as being particularly relevant for the purposes of my rant. I am just very angry at how cack handedly this very unfair withdrawal of CB is happening and especially as the Govt made a promise not to touch it before the last election. If I thought it was going to save money I'd be more forgiving but I suspect it's going to cost far more to take it away than will be saved.

I am obviously BU/irrational though considering the responses!

OP posts:
3bunnies · 09/11/2012 07:04

So are the letters coming in the brown envelopes? dh doesn't believe in opening post as most of his is junk, I deal with the finances . Not had one yet. Dh is due an increment in jan, which might put him over but depends on pension etc coming out. If it is just a few pounds over we would probably increase his pension / he'll take a week's parental leave so don't have the hassle of tax return, but how will we know this until the end of the tax year? If we are over likely to be a few pounds rather than a few thousand so easier on us and probably HMRC to reduce income than faff with forms etc. Never had to do a tax return and would rather not have the hassle for a few pounds. Different if he gets a pay rise, but not likely on the NHS.

3bunnies · 09/11/2012 08:09

Managed to get dh's pay slip, looks as if after pension we are about 5000 under, so no brown envelopes yet!

JakeBullet · 09/11/2012 08:16

Apologies if this had already been asked but how do they know who lives with who if you are not married for example?
Surely they can't know that Mr Jones lives with Miss Smith and they have 3 children together and as he earns £51k then Miss Smith loses all her CB.
Or can they only be sure about married couples?
Am I asking a really stupid question?

KatAndKit · 09/11/2012 08:17

I had a baby this year and although the child benefit is claimed in my name it did ask me for my partners details including NI number on the application form. Presumably not telling the truth about this would be benefit fraud.

CarolynKnappShappey · 09/11/2012 08:24

It is up to you to tell them Jake - but if you don't, and they find out (not too tricky since they have your addresses) then you'll get fined.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 09/11/2012 08:27

But they presumably do know, as the envelopes are coming out!
I don't understand about the self assessment stuff, will every PAYE person also have to do one now if they have to have the CB element taken back?

suchnonsense · 09/11/2012 08:29

So, in our house I'm the higher earner and also I'm the one who claims CB, but only DH got the letter. How does that make sense?? Are they assuming that the "man of the house" must be the higher earner? Makes no practical difference as it all goes into one pot, but I'm a bit confused by the logic of this. Ironically, DH rarely opens his post so I'll end up sorting it out anyway.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 09/11/2012 08:30

Yes, that makes me angry. Why have they sent it to your DH?

ByTheWay1 · 09/11/2012 08:34

Everyone who earns over £50k at an address where child benefit is claimed will receive the letter.

So if your childless lodger/flatmate earns over £50k and you claim CB they will get a letter even though unrelated to you/your child... they would do nothing as indicated in the letter - If later it is found that the lodger "lives" with you not merely resides there, they would be done for fraud.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 09/11/2012 08:36

ah thanks BTW
such's case makes no sense though!

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 09/11/2012 08:37

and do they then have to do all the SA tax return stuff? Are they expected to know that this is necessary? Isn't it a huge pain?