Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have realised that I REALLY dislike the toddler stage?

34 replies

TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras · 07/11/2012 15:11

I am currently on my 4th (and LAST) toddler, why did it take me so long to realise this Hmm?

Tantrums, running off, hand holding refusal, food refusal and throwing, toy playing refusal as plug sockets and anything electrical or even remotely harmful is more interesting, climbing up on everything, turning taps on full blast and leaving them on, night waking and 5am screeches of 'UP Muuummmy' (he's even figured out that if he shouts that he's done a poo (which he has'nt) I will get up straight away instead of telling him '5 more minutes sleep').

THIS IS NOT FUN!

Rant over (gritted teeth Grin).

Love him to death of course and all that but I would like to run away and come back when he's 5 (not that the older 3 are any easier to deal with either but I don't have to constantly be on alert to thwart the next suicide mission with them at least)!

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 07/11/2012 15:14

I used to think I hated the toddler stage but now mine is a teen I long for those days back

It is really tiring though.

Original poster
TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras · 07/11/2012 15:17

valium Nooooo! My teen is pretty vile but I can take her on any day (and my pre-pubescent drama king twins).

Tis the toddler who makes me want to curl up in a corner in a gibbering wreck!

OP posts:
MrsWolowitz · 07/11/2012 15:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bearandcub · 07/11/2012 15:19

YANBU, definitely not BU.

Snowflakepie · 07/11/2012 15:21

Each to their own! I personally hated the newborn stage but my toddler is a complete delight most of the time. Which is why I am having another newborn, clearly. We all cope better with different things. So no, YANBU. Grit those teeth and cross the days off on a calendar!

nethunsreject · 07/11/2012 15:21

Yanbu. They are hard work!

but I bloody love toddlers. They are so funny and cute.

At least by number 4, you know it'll pass...! Wink

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 07/11/2012 15:25

They've got humor on their side though - dd is 11mo and entering that toddler "will not stop throwing, crawling away, shouting in anger" but then she winks at me and I pee my pants Grin

Im another one who disliked the 0-6month stage.

I know ilk come into my own when she gets to Reception-to year6 Stage. God help me in the teenage years.

Teladi · 07/11/2012 15:28

I'm really hoping that I do like toddlers as I found DD1's babyhood very hard. She is 14 mo and enjoying it a bit more now! Having said that she is not actually toddling yet...

Icelollycraving · 07/11/2012 15:35

I think I'll find every stage hard :o
The baby stage was isolating for me. I felt I'd got a busy week by baby group on Thursday for two hours & baby clinic. I did end up sobbing to the hv.
I'm in the young toddler stage which is knackering but I'm back at work full time & the biggest challenge is ds being ill frequently. He is just recovering from pneumonia :(
I think actually I'm kind of dreading the school age as nursery is until 6,school isn't. I think dh will have to re look at his work then.
Children just appear to be knackering full stop.

fromparistoberlin · 07/11/2012 15:40

I like toddlers

they LOVE you so much

newborns however, love them but gods its hard

Original poster
TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras · 07/11/2012 15:40

Babystage 0-1 and aged 5 onwards is my best time. Still hard but not so hair pulling out frustrating! We have coat refusal now as well just to add to the collection of refusals Hmm. Oh and seat belt unbuckling and leaping out of the car seat just to add to the fun!

It will pass. It will pass. It will pass.

OP posts:
Original poster
TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras · 07/11/2012 15:45

I really cannot remember my older ones being like this but they must have been. I can remember always being on top of the washing and cleaning the house throughout daily even with the twins, can't seem to manage that now although I am home alone with the toddler whilst the others are at school. Very short memory or brain just completely gone to pot - probably both!

OP posts:
JoinTheDots · 07/11/2012 15:51

I am not very good at either the newborn stage (they take a lot and give very little I find) or the toddler stage (they are just so challenging!) so I hope I come into my own when DD goes to school, because if not... I have kind of failed! I also notice I am hoping to enjoy it more when someone else has care for her 6 hours a day.

StarsGhostTail · 07/11/2012 15:53

YANBU
DD1 was absolutely exhausting. She didn't tantrum, but she did everything else you list.

Run off, climb, pull wires, put things in her mouth, play with anything that wasn't hers, wasn't safe and definitely wasn't a toy. Refuse to go to bed before 8-9 pm and get up when I'd rather be asleep. Decline to learn to talk and expect you to understand sign language and decide you were a very stupid mummy when you didn't. I think that's a fair summary.

By comparison, DD2 was a delight. She held hands, kept her feet on the floor, played with toys and other children (something else DD1 doesn't get), still BF so went to bed late, but in a relaxing manner. learnt to talk at the right age and generally was much easier.

Except she was and is a complete horror about food and she learnt to tantrum from 6-9!

diddl · 07/11/2012 15:56

Babies are great until they´re mobile, aren´t they?Grin

Mine are teens now & it´s fab.
But where does the time go?

MolotovBomb · 07/11/2012 16:06

My DD1 will be 4yo in February. DD2 is almost 7mo.

I lamented DD1's baby-phase passing. She was extremely cute at 14/15mo but I missed her being a baby. We were (unsuccessfully) trying to get pg again which kind of spoiled my enjoyment of her when she was between 18mo and almost 2.5yo.

I regret that.

I utterly adore the age she's at now and fully intend to live-up DD2s toddler years without trying to get pg again! The baby-phase lasts such a short time; I really appreciate that now DD2 is here.

Sorry, OP, I'm waffling! I don't think you're being unreasonable - wait til you can reason with your LO and I found it all gets easier then.

SamuelWestsMistress · 07/11/2012 20:28

I'm there with everything you're saying! I am on my third and he is the most emotionally charged full on ball of energy from the second he wakes until the moment he falls asleep. He is far more sensitive and typical in his tantrums and misbehaving a than my other two were, but for some reason I find him the most fun to be around. The love and affection I get back from him is just amazing. We have the most incredible cuddles then two minutes later he's having a meltdown because I've changed the tv channel or won't let him play with a candle etc..

They're so funny too. I definitely prefer toddlers to babies.

MrsDeVere · 07/11/2012 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shuffleballchange · 07/11/2012 20:34

I LOVE toddlers, trying, but oh so funny, ds2 is very nearly 2, cute, loving and very, very naughty!! My 7 year old is pretty darn cool too.

shuffleballchange · 07/11/2012 20:37

MrsDeVere, so true. Not a fan of text speak but am well and truly lolling at your list of toddlerisms Grin

HollyHopDrive · 07/11/2012 20:50

My 2.4 yr old is loving, funny, playful and absolutely adorable but he is equally naughty, tantrummy and quite frankly a little sod sometimes!

He hits his 10 mo brother when he doesn't get his own way, he throws things in frustration and gets bored easily. But today he found his Dad's backpack, put some cars in and said 'zip it up mummy', then 'on back mummy' so I put it on him and he toddled off saying 'see you soon darling!', came back to kiss his brother on the cheek then kissed me saying 'bye bye darling!' then walked off!

I suspect a lot of my frustration with the toddlerisms are having a small age gap and DS1 being too young to understand DS2 crawling, grabbing things and not even able to contemplate sharing, can't say whether I prefer the baby stage or the toddler stage though!

FreddyMcKruger · 07/11/2012 20:52

I am with you OP. I have two older DSs and. 23mo DD, I have done it all before but this time the queen of the house is killing me, she is well and truly in charge and I'm shattered.

She won't put her coat or shoes on, she refuses to have her fringe clipped out of her eyes, she loves nothing more than sucking on a sneaky tube of toothpaste, some days she loves to colour but the next day she will throw the crayons and scream nooooooo mummy, no colour.

Tonight she refused to eat her own peas but wanted to eat her brothers instead........he gave them to her for a quiet life.

LucieMay · 07/11/2012 20:58

I worked full time from ds being 2 till 4 and I don't regret it! He seemed to tantrum constantly and work was a welcome relief! I may sound like a bad mother for saying that but it's true! Come school and age four and he was, and still is, a lovely little boy.

KellyElly · 07/11/2012 20:59

I personally hated the newborn stage but my toddler is a complete delight most of the time. Agree with this. The baby stage was so hard. I couldn't do it again. I find the toddler stage challenging at times with the naughtiness but DD is also funny, good company and has a proper little personality now :)

Softlysoftly · 07/11/2012 21:04

Totally with MrsDeVere although it's usually "ICECREAM".

I have enjoyed every minute of toddlerdom, even her tantrums are funny. However I hated 0-4months and have a very good toddler (tempts tantrum fate).

DD2 on current showing is likely to dispel this feeling and she's only 5 months....