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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to take in next-doors parcels?

65 replies

issiri · 07/11/2012 08:32

I moved into my new house 3 weeks ago. My next-door neighbours must run a business of some sort as they get parcels from DHL or YODEL almost every day.

Almost every day we get a knock on our front door. "sorry to bother you, these are for your neighbours who are not answering their door"

On next-doors front door they have a sign saying "If we are not in, please leave parcels at Number **"

This has presumably always been an arrangement with the previous owners of this house. However, they have not asked us if it is ok and tbh I'm getting VERY sick of opening the door to receive more parcels and then having to wait for next-door to come knocking, usually after 9pm.

I've spoken lightheartedly to next-door saying "You do have a lot of parcels, dont you" and "I think we'll need a bigger house for your parcels"

Without causing problems between us and next-door, what I can I do about this situation?

OP posts:

Whoknowswhocares · 07/11/2012 09:12

Haha. With nine children I'd keep on the good side of the neighbours! It's only a matter of time before they are all out in the garden kicking balls over the fence, making a noise and generally being...kids
friendly relations with the neighbours easily outweighs dragging in a few parcels, surely?

senua · 07/11/2012 09:13

You either have to look them in the eye and say you don't want to do it any more or, alternatively do such a bad job that they don't want you to do it.
It ust be difficult keeping track of all these parcels - have any of them got, ahem, temporarily mislaid?

GhostShip · 07/11/2012 09:13

Aw they should lovely but they should have still asked you

Also, I wouldn't want to put myself in the position of being told a parcel had been delivered to my house, when in fact it hadn't. Yodel and DHL have serious history of this. The drivers keeping the items for themselves, signing them themselves, and blaming it on the neighbour.

tiggytape · 07/11/2012 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrikeyOHare · 07/11/2012 09:26

I would do as most other suggest and just politely tell the driver that you can't take the parcels next time he calls

The problem is, she's going to have to open the door every day to politely refuse. It won't always be the same driver & they'll all just see the notice and show up at her door. How really annoying.

OP, I think you have to take the bull by the horns and talk to the neighbours. Explain that you're more than happy to take things in from time to time, but you're uncomfortable about the sign they have up as it makes you feel as if you're duty bound to open the door to the driver (and it's not always convenient to do that) and be around in the evening to let them have their parcels.

You could also say that with some of your kids are very nosy when it comes to other people's parcels (even if they're not) and you can't guarantee they won't get prodded or even opened when your back is turned.

They do sound like nice people - but even nice people can take the piss sometimes and they are definitely doing that here.

HecatePropylaea · 07/11/2012 09:27

A few?

Parcels almost every single day is a few?

If that's the new definition of a few then I'm going to ask you to lend me a few quid

Mrsjay · 07/11/2012 09:28

Maybe they actually are nice people and didn't give the money to be manipulative

I was joking too early for sarcasm then

AKissIsNotAContract · 07/11/2012 09:30

I clearly didn't get it as I'm still psyching myself up to pop next door and ask for my parcel :)

Mrsjay · 07/11/2012 09:32

I'm still psyching myself up to pop next door and ask for my parcel

just go get it mumble thank you and scurry home

diddl · 07/11/2012 09:35

Have I missed something-are next door actually in & not answering sometimes?

Can they not be left in next door´s garage/back garden?

OP-could your husband/eldest take all the parcels round when they get in & leave them on the doorstep if necessary?

VonHerrBurton · 07/11/2012 09:37

My ndn are exactly the same. They're a couple with 4 teenagers and I reckon if not everyday, then certainly 4 times a week there are loud bangs on our door (use the fucking doorbell, fuckwit) with parcels from Amazon, Next and Sports Direct.

A particular one of their dc comes round at about 9.30 - 10 to collect. We open the door and he just stands and mutters 'blablaparcelbla' Never a please, a thank you...

I've started ignoring the delivery people. 'Tis the only way. I don't want four miserable teenagers with a grudge living next door.

Everlong · 07/11/2012 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

helpyourself · 07/11/2012 09:44

I sounds like it's the collection after 9 that's the problem. Ask them for a key and deliver the parcels to their house.

It might be that they are uncomfortable giving you a key, in which case they'll find an alternative delivery address.

Brycie · 07/11/2012 09:44

Don't ask to remove the sign, look out of the window, if it's a delivery, don't answer the door.

mumnosbest · 07/11/2012 09:46

Just don't accept the parcels.

YouOldSlag · 07/11/2012 09:49

If you have nine children, your house will hardly be as quiet as a library. You will need understanding neighbours.

I think it's fine to say something like you can't do after 9pm or you can't always answer the door (what with your nine children!)

Oh and OP- how do you manage with 9?

anothercuppaplease · 07/11/2012 09:49

Considering there's a note on their door, I think they should have asked you.

If I was you, I would have a polite chat with them saying that you can't accept the parcels because your children often sleep during the day and this is waking them up, or say that you work so hard with 9 children that you need to sleep during the day and you can't accept the parcels anymore.

Or speak to them and come to an arrangement. In any case, I think that speaking to them is better than refusing the parcels. I think anyway.

We do accept parcels for all our neighbours but it happens probably once or twice a week. Thats fine, no probs. But every day?...

Justforlaughs · 07/11/2012 09:50

Sounds like you need to bite th ebullet and speak to them. You don't need to be confrontational about it, ask if there's anyone else that could accept their parcels (mother/ friend/ other neighbour) and point out that it is a bit inconvenient to you. Many postmen will leave parcels in a designated place, we have a large garden box where ours get left if we are not in.

kige · 07/11/2012 09:51

Don't answer the door when the delivery people ring the bell. I have had to start doing this - my neighbours have a fair few parcels and I have taken them in numerous times without complaint and handed them over politely when they come to collect them. They have often been very large (size of a car wheel).

I have stopped answering the door because:

a) sheer volume of their shite taking up space in my hall (once was so large had to open my garage for it!)
b) the fact that one of them will come home for an hour at lunch time and not bother to pick the parcel up from me , instead choosing to leave it in my hall for the rest of the day
c) the ONE time one of my parcels was delivered to them (when we were abroad for one week only - we had a card to prove they'd had it), they chucked the parcel on our (not covered) porch 5 days before we returned home . A passing relative saw it and picked it up and took it home for us!

Never again, lazy ungrateful shits.

diddl · 07/11/2012 09:57

I think it´s really rude of them to leave their sign up & not ask you about it.

Also, is it just me that thinks it´s odd if they are running a business but are both out all day & are therefore dependent on the goodwill of a neighbour?

I think that you have to tell them "no can do" tbh.

Or just leave the parcels outside your house for them to collect.

Mousefunk · 07/11/2012 10:12

I don't really understand why you'd order parcels every day knowing you won't be in to collect them..

chattygirlneedsacuppa · 07/11/2012 10:20

My neighbour is in but doesn't get up until 2 pm so doesn't answer the door (doesn't work just goes to bed late!). I am then left with huge parcels filling up my hallway until she collects them. YANBU!

chattygirlneedsacuppa · 07/11/2012 10:24

Also forgot to add she never takes any parcels in for us - as she doesn't answer the door before 2 p.m. so I always have to go to the main post office to collect them when I am back from work!

Katisha · 07/11/2012 10:28

Next time they come to collect ask how much longer this parcel-fest is going to continue for and is it their business? Doesn't have to be said in a narky way.

Then say "Oh dear ...long pause...well please can you at least collect by 7pm" (or whatever time)

HecatePropylaea · 07/11/2012 10:34

Yes, Katisha. That might work. Good idea.

She could also say "wow, so many parcels. I'll be glad when your christmas shopping is finished! Have you got many more deliveries?"

That makes it clear she's thinking it's temporary and tells them she's not going to want it to continue and means that if it's not christmas gifts, they'll have to say so at which point she can say oh, well, sorry, that's not going to work for me as a long term arrangement. You'll have to make other arrangements.

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