to feel so sad that DD is discovering awful things about the world? From Rolf Harris?

[IHeartKingThistle]

It is silly, but I AM sad.

DD is 5.5. I always sing her a song at bedtime and for the last few nights she has asked for 'Two Little Boys'. For the life of me I can't remember how on earth she knows this song, but anyway. Lots of questions about soldiers, and battles, and war.

I have explained as clearly and gently as I can. She was not upset, just curious and interested.

But I feel sad. It feels like the beginning of her finding out how evil the world can be. I don't want her to know .

Is banning Rolf Harris the answer?

Kewcumber - your montage is beautiful, and so moving.
And it is so lovely of you to share your story with Ophelia so she can draft her happy ending to the orphanage song.

I remember hearing the song Strange Fruit on the radio, and asking my mum what are the strange fruit? Poor thing, she then had to explain lynching to a sensitive and curious school kid.

I worry about this, mine are both under 3. I remember when I was little I used to become hugely upset by the Gulf war, and famine on the news. My mum and dad talked it all through with me and showed what we could do to help - donate money, sponsor a child (which we did) etc. It is a horrible wake up call to kids and something you want to shield them from.

I've just remembered asking my Year 7s about this last year - did they think we should protect them from horrible things or did they want to know? They were lovely kids and they all said they wanted to know what the world was like. Of course they did. And I agreed with them.

So can I wait until she's 11?

Dd got upset when she was 6/7 when they started to cover war at school. The did Florence Nightingale and Poppy Day.
I got my mum to talk to her about it as she was 2 when WWII started so she could tell what it,was like for a child in war.

My parents must have been the melancholy sort. I used to be wary of the record player (I'm fairly ancient) coming out of the cupboard becuse I hated the sad songs.

There was one about a horse dying in the snow a few miles from home, and the rider talking to him. Oh look, it is.

And one that might have been by John Denver, 'We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun...' it went downhill from there.

I went to a Catholic school too, so assemblies were not 30 minutes of joy. And my parents were Irish, so maudlin ballads about dying mothers left back at home were the standard.

Was if Rolf Harris who sang about the dog that died?

I developed an inner cheerfulness very early on.

The sadness of realising that your child will have to lose their initial innocence is part of parenthood.

But with it comes the pride and reassurance of seeing that you are raising a strong and caring individual who will be able to help others through the hard times and cruelty that life is bound to bring sooner or later.

Ds at 11 supported dd and got her medical care after her suicide attempt last year. Last night, aged 12, he sat with her in A&E as we were waiting to have it confirmed that the voices jeering in her head signalled her spiralling down into schizophrenia or other mental illness. He was not afraid, he knew something very frightening was happening and he was there for her.

That is one man I shall be proud to have given to the world.

So don't be too sad. Even for a mother there are good things about it too.

My parents were of the "let us protect our children's innocence and never speak openly of scary things"- school of thought. I think that left us very helpless. I hope I am giving my children the tools to handle disaster rather than the reassurance that it can't happen. I haven't gone out of my way to rub their noses into world wide disasters, but when they have come to their attention, I have tried to talk about what we can do.

Yanbu to ban rolfey but kids like gore, the most famous nursery rhymes are full of it! Red riding hood, granny gets eaten, some prince is always killing a witch etc.

I thought this was going to be about rolfs new animal hospital type show which is devastating enogugh for me!

Enough. Must spell check before posting.

OpheliaPayneAgain, when I was a child it was a family joke in my household that I would reliably burst into tears when anyone sang the nobody's child song. My mother used to sing it to me for fun to watch the tears well up!

Also, the incarceration of Dumbo's mother. I still can't handle that.

I think Rolf Harris should be banned because yesterday on telly he showed me how horses with blocked sinuses form rubbery pus clots inside their face, and little squares of skull have to be drilled off to hoik them out,

Obi-Seasons in the Sun was Terry Jacks.

I grew up listening to John Denver-"Take me Home (country Roads)", "Annie´s Song", Grandma´s Feather Bed-great stuff!

cory
So sorry to hear about your Dd.Your ds sounds lovely
My teenage dcs had to go through dhs breakdown over the last few years. They have been brilliant, and the one good thing is they have come out the other end, the most understanding people for it. I am so proud of them.

Don't you all remember Rolf singing bits of 2 little boys for the queen at the jubilee? tHat had me blubbing!

Just don't get them onto the other classicsof my child hood- Jake the peg and Lily the pink!

wilson I just cried at "Going Home" I googled it on elyrics and found a video but it wonet me link .

I remember DD crying silently in the back of the car one holiday as we were playing " Waiting at the border " on cassette tape in the car . The lyrics really got to her , she would have been about 5 . " it's just so-oo sa-ad "

Glad to see Puff the Magic Dragon gets a few mentions ... me and my DD listened to it last year and we both ended up crying - well she was actually howling - and then she insisted on listening to it twice more!!

I think kids are naturally drawn to sad stories, like they know they need to be prepared for this stuff. You are right OP, we are doing them a disservice by sanitising.

num and trumpton Now imagine you're 6, standing next to a coffin of a complete stranger singing it. I'm going to have one of those jolly funerals, tis all planned.

I think sad songs and stories are very cathartic. ( Little match girl anyone ?)

Has anyone read the Oliver Jeffers 'heart in a bottle' book, btw? Heart. Breaking.

And it's so important to remember that innocence and ignorance are not the same.

This is the saddest song in the world my Nanna used to sing it to my sister and I.We howled!

When the dewy light was fading
And the sky in beauty smiled,
Came this whisper, like an echo,
From a pale and dying child:

"Mother, in that golden region
With its pearly gates so fair,
Up among the happy angels,
Is there room for Mary there?

"Mother, raise me just a moment;
You?ll forgive me when I say
You were angry when you told me
I was always in your way.

"You were sorry in a moment,
I could read it on your brow,
But you?ll not recall it, mother;
You must never mind it now.

?When my baby sister calls me
And you hear my voice no more;
When she plays among the roses
By our little cottage door;

"Never chide her when you?re angry.
Do it kindly and in love:
That you both may dwell with Mary,
In the sunny land above.

Then she plumed her snowy pinions
Till she folded them to rest.
Mid the welcome song of rapture
On the loving Saviour?s breast.

In the bright and golden regions,
With its pearly gates so fair,
She is singing with the angels.
Yes, there?s room for Mary there.

In my basket now !!

Good luck with that!

Depression often feels like the inability to feel grief, and so grief, when it does come, can be very curative and resolving.

Do you remember that when you were tiny, the moment when you felt most comforted was the time when it became possible for real sadness to seep out? For example, when a parent arrives to pick you up from nursery, or when a parent is hugging you and singing to you at bed time. And even in adulthood, the time we are most likely to cry is when someone has been kind to us in our suffering.

Deep sadness and deep comfort are fused, I think, in our minds, and that is part of the reason why sad songs and stories are so very compelling.