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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have accepted this ppi refund?

37 replies

ariane5 · 06/11/2012 20:07

Long story......

12 years ago (when I was young and foolish) I took out a loan for dh's mother as she was in a lot of debt and couldn't get one in her own name. She promised she would pay it every month but only paid the first 2 repayments then stopped leaving me to pay them.I had no choice as the loan was in my name so as far as the bank were concerned it was my debt even though I hadnt had the money.

DP (he is now dh) and I split up and I was 8 weeks pg, I had to pay the loan payments from my benefits and struggled with bringing dd1 up because we had no money.
In the end I repaid the loan (took 3 years) and I took mil to small claims court and she had to repay me every month which she did (eventually-she still missed payments and tried to get out of it).

Recently I was short of money again so I claimed back the ppi on this loan from 12 yrs ago BUT dh says that really the £1900 I got back is technically his mums and never to mention it to her as she will want the money as she did eventually repay me

After the way she treated me and the fact the loan was in my name I thought it was fine for me to have done this or AIBU? Is the money really mil's?

OP posts:

aimingtobeaperfectionist · 06/11/2012 20:10

I wouldn't mention it and I'd bloody well keep it after the way she behaved. Technically it is your money as the loan was in your name.

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/11/2012 20:11

Since presumably taking her to small claims proved that it was her debt not yours, the PPI should be her money not yours. Legally.

Morally, however, she is a rotten baggage who left her DGD without for ages. Cobblers to her.

Goldmandra · 06/11/2012 20:12

Call it interest.

Original poster

ariane5 · 06/11/2012 20:12

just to add I know what I did was probably not legal and I shouldnt have taken a loan out for somebody else but I was 18 and really immature

OP posts:

galwaygirl · 06/11/2012 20:13

YANBU - consider it compensation for all the stress and hassle he put you through!

ALittleBitOfMagic · 06/11/2012 20:13

YANBU . Keep the money and treat yourself .

galwaygirl · 06/11/2012 20:14

*she

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/11/2012 20:14

You can take out a loan for someone else, you just probably shouldn't

discrete · 06/11/2012 20:14

If she paid you late, then you were out of pocket for a while until she did so.

It would be perfectly reasonable to take this refund as compensation for that, imho.

If you want to be scrupulously fair, you can calculate the delay between when mil should have paid you and when she did, take the interest and fees your bank charges you for an unauthorised overdraft and apply it to the amount she owed you for the period until she repaid you.

I'm guessing it comes to less than what you got back.

discrete · 06/11/2012 20:15

What you did was not illegal, just a bit silly.

AnyFucker · 06/11/2012 20:16

it is yours, morally, I wouldn't give a shiny shit about what might be the legal stance

two fingers to her

HecatePropylaea · 06/11/2012 20:16

I suppose although the loan was in your name, you used your loan to lend her money and you got all that back (eventually!) and then got the PPI back so I suppose she overpaid you by £1900.

But I'd just keep quiet. After the aggravation she caused, the fact you suffered massively financially because of her, had to go to court, I don't know if it damaged your own credit rating if you missed payments or had to make reduced payments?

So yes, it's probably hers, but I seriously wouldn't give a shit.

Moominsarescary · 06/11/2012 20:20

Don't tell her, she doesn't deserve it after the way she behaved

Original poster

ariane5 · 06/11/2012 20:21

Only a couple of payments got missed but it got paid back within the agreed time-we went without though, my mum had to pay for dds nappies/food etc and let me live with her. dd never got toys or treats I used to walk round woolworths sometimes desperate to buy her a treat or a little outfit but I couldnt as wanted the loan paid off so we went without.

Credit rating was unaffected but I was really depressed over it all. I hadnt really considered the ppi refund wasnt mine untill DH mentioned it.

OP posts:

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 06/11/2012 20:22

How is it 'technically' his mum's? You made the repayments, the loan was in your name therefore the PPI payment is yours and yours alone.

midseasonsale · 06/11/2012 20:24

It's her money.

Keep it in an account and let it gather interest. You can use it in the future for her grandchild.

HecatePropylaea · 06/11/2012 20:25

I think because his mum did eventually pay her all the money, including the £1900 she's now got back.

Original poster

ariane5 · 06/11/2012 20:25

she did eventually repay the full amount through small claims court-years later but it still got repaid so dh said really it is hers and told me not to mention it.

I think as well becauseSIL has just been served an eviction notice they are desperate for money to avoid her losing her house (rent arrears) so if they knew I had received the ppi they would want it to help sil out.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/11/2012 20:27

No one in your DH family seems to like to pay their bills.

KellyMarieTunstall · 06/11/2012 20:31

Well since you actually paid the loan and she paid you , obviously the money is legally and morally yours. No contest.

Get it spent before the vultures inlaws start gathering

Original poster

ariane5 · 06/11/2012 20:36

DH wont say anything so I think I will just keep it quiet as advised. I dont like taking what is no legally mine but given the circumstances... what she doesnt know wont hurt her

OP posts:

Goldmandra · 06/11/2012 20:39

The money is yours.

You used your good credit rating to take out a loan in your own name. You then lent the money to your MIL and then took her to court to get it when she failed to pay it back. She eventually paid you back, not the loan company.

You took the risk to your future rating and experienced significant hardship in order to pay it back and protect it when she failed to pay up. Any company lending her the money would have charged her a higher interest rate in order to make the increased risk worthwhile. This is you imposing a similar charge and rightly so after the way she behaved, especially as she should pay extra interest for the extra time she had the money.

You are legally and morally entitled to keep the money.

VirginiaDare · 06/11/2012 21:09

why wasn't your man paying up after his ma left you in the shit? Why wasn't he paying for your child's nappies?
and then you went and married him?

edwinbear · 06/11/2012 21:19

Who went through the hassle of claiming back the PPI? You, not your MIL, so the refund would never have happened were it not for you. Technically speaking, the cost of the PPI would have been added to the loan, therefore, if she has paid you back the loan in full, she paid the PPI premiums and I suppose should be refunded the PPI cost. However, if you had needed to claim on it, it would have been based on your circumstances not your MIL.

Technicalities aside, I would keep quiet and put the money towards something for your daughter.

CatsRule · 06/11/2012 21:35

Yanbu.

She was happy to leave you to be responsible for her debt and you wete kind enough to help her out and ended up paying for it even when you couldn't afford it...it doesn't matter that she paid it back eventually she still left you in the shit!

I also think your dh is being unfair to you...surely he can't condone how his mother behaved and say something like that to you!

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