I don't want to be childish but I am hurt

[WinkyWinkola]

A good friend of two years or so has just moved. She had a house warming and a bonfire party. She told me all about them - friends with kids were there, how much fun etc.

Now I could be hormonal and over sensitive (ds3 9 weeks old), but I did feel really hurt that we weren't invited. Perhaps she just wants to keep her friends separate groups and I shouldn't be so touchy.

Dh thinks that perhaps she's not quite as good a friend as I thought a d I should invest less time and energy. And he's annoyed about the bottle of champagne we gave them for house warming gift.

AIBU and childish to feel hurt?

No, they weren't. We have two other mutual friends who weren't invited. One lives quite far away though so probably couldn't come but the other could have. I only know of the friends she did invite - met a couple of them once or twice in passing - and so perhaps she just wants to keep her friends separate and therefore saw no harm in telling me about the events.

I'm just going to let it slide. Thing is, she and her dh and one of our mutual friends and her dh are coming to dinner in two weeks. Gah.

There could be valid reasons for you not being invited like she didn't think you'd want to with such a little baby. And you don't say if she's moved very far away. But if neither of this applies then she is being totally insensitive and rude telling you what a great time she had. I don't think I'd bother that much with her in future.

I am going to go against the grain here and say there was nothing wrong with what she did in my eyes.

I am someone who doesn't mix groups of friends and hates to be mixed myself. I have a friend who seems to make it her life's work to merge all of the friends she has met in the various stages and places in her life into one big happy mass and it just doesn't work. We have vaguely interesting and superficial conversations at these various dinner parties and nights out etc but it feels like hard work - not like letting your hair down with people you know really well.

It doesn't sound like what she had was a major housewarming party - just a small gathering at her house on bonfire night for some specific friends.

Everytime I invite friends over for dinner, I don't/ can't invite them all even from one group (we only can seat 6 for a start and DH and I take 2 seats) so tend to see friends separately or in sub groups quiet often.

Can't see the harm.

i am not the friend in question by the way!