To think 'arse' and 'bugger'

[Woofsaidtheladybird]

So, friend coming for lunch today. We organised it last week and she said she doesn't eat bread at the moment as it makes her feel bloated. Ok, thinks me. So I get out the freezer some pumpkin soup I made last week. She called this morning to confirm today is still on, and I said 'Oooh you like pumpkin soup don't you'. No she doesn't. In fact, she only likes to eat her home made leek and potato soup. Grr. Some fresh pasta in the fridge? No, again the wheat makes her feel bloated. Jacket potato? No. Too 'carby'.

FFS. WHAT THEN??! It's going to be a few bits of green salad at this rate. I can't 'nip' out and get anything as you can't 'nip' anywhere with a toddler and a baby and a sprained ankle.

Bugger and arse. And help!

Have you got rice in the house? Tell her that you'll cook rice but she'll have to bring something, chilli etc, to go with it.

She can cope with being bloated for one meal, or bring her own delicious soup with her.

and be thankful you're not going out for a meal together, can you imagine the faff with the menu?

Rice won't be any good either.

I'm usually low carb as well, but I bloody eat what I'm given at friends' houses! It's not an allergy.

Omelette and salad if you can be arsed.

She'll try the soup? That's big of her.

Sorry, OP, I know she's your friend and all, but she just sounds a right royal pain in the arse. And condescending.

I think I'd rather eat out than cook for fussy people. It's tedious listening to them going through the menu and giving a dull self-obsessed fascinating commentary on everything they won't order and why, but at least you don't have to worry about feeding them.

I would be bloody pissed off that she didnt mention her fussiness restrictions when she accepted the invitation!

I would have cancelled by now tbh.

Packet of Quavers and a Mars bar.

Yum.

It's tedious listening to them going through the menu and giving a dull self-obsessed fascinating commentary on everything they won't order and why

Why do some people do that? It has to be an attention seeking thing. When I was on a very restricted diet to sort out my IBS triggers, I didnt say anything to anyone, just ordered whatever I could eat!

I think any diet only brings out any self-obsessed tendencies that are already there. DP's best mate is vegan but he doesn't do the commentary thing either, just cheerfully eats whatever he can eat (even if it's only salad) and doesn't whine about the rest.

Bogey, I'm convinced that it's just attention-seeking. And a wrong conviction that the rest of the world finds them and their food issues as captivating as they do themselves.

Meet her in a cafe

You're right, Ladyclarice. She's not normally like this though. Am not arsing about with lunch. Shes here now - better go.

Might just swig the gun and be done with it

Woof dont use the gun just yet, see if she eats the soup first :o

Ask me to lunch I'll eat anything and be grateful afterwards!

Me too, Pickled! It's so nice to be catered for, who cares what you get served?

Loving the idea of the OP wielding a gun.

Make sure you wangle a return invite to try her amazing made-with-pure-unicorn soup!

GIN not gun!

Good idea though.

We had ham salad. I'm bloody starving. Poxy bit of meat and a few green leaves.

AND she said 'look, I'm really easy to feed really, aren't I?'

AND she's having her bloody leek and potato soup for tea.

AND she's burping. Loudly. A lot.

Can I come over for pumkin soup? Sounds great to me I will happily help you dispose of the body if you've shot her by now, in exchange for soup

I hope she is lovely to you cos she sounds hard work to me!!

Cold ham salad on a day like this?

Root veggie soup for me!!

I would have loved pumpkin soup Woof!

Bin the friend.

She's gone.

I'm raiding the leftover Halloween sweets.

My tummy is gurgling.

Can I come over for pumpkin soup, OP? It sounds delicious to me. I promise not to fuss. I'll even bring cheese or something

I'll come for pumpkin soup and carby bread, what time do you want me and can I bring anything with me since you can't get out due to ankle?!

I do have to admit that although I would eat most of what I was served at someone's house, even if I wasn't that keen, I would have to say something if it was pea and ham soup as I can't even smell it without getting morning sickness flashbacks nowadays

With all due respect to the pea and ham soup fans, pea and ham soup probably looks like morning sickness

That's a point. She didn't bring anything either.

Tons of pumpkin soup here! I'm having it tomorrow with warm ciabatta - c'mon over!!

Haha, yeah, it's not very attractive, is it?! I could tolerate it pre-pregnancy, but then morning sickness hit and my boss at the time was doing The Atkins diet so brought it in for lunch every day and stank the office out. I haven't even been able to even smell it since without feeling ill.
But that definitely doesn't apply to pumpkin soup, that sounds amazing, especially with ciabatta
I can't believe she didn't bring you anything either, if I had a friend with a toddler, baby and sprained ankle, she would be first on my list for a visit with a massive box of doughnuts that I could share

Eeew. Why are you her friend? I'd dump her just for having the audacity to burp loudly in public. Dis-bloody-gusting.