To think a grandparent would at least ask if there's anything they can do while child's in hospital?

[kchivs]

I just need to know im not going crazy here! One of my twins who just turned one had a severe anaphylaxis shock to peanut butter last week (half term). Also have a four year old. She was very unwell when the ambulance came it was blue light all the way and she was rushed to resus. I text my dad and sister from the hospital to tell them the situation, they live some 70 miles from us but dad was on half term. We had to leave the two at home with a neighbour they hardly know. My sister who has two kids if her own and doesn't drive immediately offered to drop everything and come and help with the two at home. My dad made no offers to come and help and just said let me know how it goes! Even no offer when told him she would be staying there for some time.
Am I being unreasonable to think anyone with a caring bone in their body would have the immediate reaction to say at least 'let me know if there's anything i Can do' or ask who was looking after the children?

Some people are like that (not in my family, thank God). I don't think UABU.

Also, have you found your way to the Allergies board on Mumsnet (under Health)? Lots of support and advice as you navigate the bastard wonderful world of children's allergies.

How scary for you. Yes, he should have offered. No excuse for that.

My ILs were like this when our DD1 had cancer and when she was dying.

We no longer have contact with them.

It seems to be quite common, doesn't it, MrsD, these family who can't be arsed.

MIL left after 2 days in a hotel when DD1 was on a vent as she 'couldn't bear it'. We were dropping with exhaustion. I begged her to stay another day. She left.

They never once offered to come through to our home (80 miles away) and look after our other two so my husband and I could be together with our extremely ill daughter.

sorry that this has happend and hope your dt is getting better.

My parent would have been on his way, I called two years ago to say dd was in hospital and fine after an op - he phoned back the next day and said he was on his way and had driven 400 miles of the 1600 mile journey, he was home within a week to make sure we were both ok.

Some families are like this nad unfortuantley others are not, I am glad though that your sister is a true gem and there to help you out.

Glad to hear that your dd is better now.Poor baby and poor you.What a terrifying experience.

I can understand GP being reluctant to babysit under normal circumstances,but I cannot imagine refusing,not that I'd have to be asked,to help out in an emergency of any nature,and particuarly not when a family member is seriously ill.

When DD1 was diagnosed with leukaemia, they were scheduled to come in for a holiday here, half-board in some hotel.

They took a leisurely breakfast, read the papers, before coming to ours so DH could come see his ill child 1.5 hours away, but reminded him to come back before their pre-paid dinner. They did this the entire weekend and didn't stop by the hospital to visit her on their way back because they don't like to use the motorway.

Another time DH came and got our laundry, and instead of bringing it back to us on their way home, he had to drive all the way back, both kids in tow.

And on and on.

Useless. FIL didn't even come to DD1's funeral. He was 'in agony' from having a knee replacement 5 weeks before.

Kchivs - my Ex step MIL is of the opinion that it's precisley BECAUSE she had three children and 'no help', that everybody else should just get on with it. I sense a very lonely old age for her

Glad she's on the mend firstly :)

I'm lucky in that my parents and in laws would drop everything in a heartbeat and come running. Which is what I 'expect' family to do and what I would do without a hesitation for family especially, but hopefully also for friends, neighbours, anyone who needed help.

expat. I'm so sorry that your in laws were just pure shit. How do people like that live with themselves? :(

expat - that is too horrible for words.

I would hate them forever for that.

Yanbu, my parents drove for 4 hrs to look after my son when he had a sickness bug so I could go to work. Family should support each other, the belief that they have done their job raising their family is frankly bollocks. I would drop everything to help my family as would they for me and I know so would my ils.

dear god i am horrified to hear of the way some relatives ahve acted welsh expat and mrsdevere :( just beyond belief :(

my ds1 was admitted to hospital for na emergency op, it wasnt life threatening (problem with testicles!) and yet my parents offered to help and were in contact overnight via txt/phone to check how he was, if there was anything they could do etc.

my mum works full time but i know my dad would be here within hours if i needed him and my mum would as soon as she possibly could do. my mil doesnt drive but other relatives do and would pick her up and drive down, or she would get the train if needed. my family are not perfect and have their faults (dont we all!) but when push came to shove they would be there for us and ditto us for them, isnt that what families are for?!

Was going to say it doesn't surprise me after seeing some people...but then you have already posted expat

Hope lo is better soon :) You soon learn who you can rely on!

Sorry to hear about your daughter OP, hope she is feeling better now.

Some relatives just suck. DD spent a month in and out of hospital recently and most of my and DH's family and friends rallied round, helping in different ways with the exception of my father who is a waste of space and cannot deal with it if attention is diverted from him. Luckily I have known for a while that he is a waste of space and ignore him, that's the only way to deal with such people.

I remember my conversation in the PICU waiting room with her. There are no words strong enough to describe my feelings about her.

I was so exhausted I was stunned, giraffes. Oh, yy, we had no end of hearing how 'tired' they were. Once, they were again in the hospital canteen stuffing their faces and FIL went on and on about how BIL, no kids, was so 'tired'. I had been living next to our seriously ill child for over 3 months.

Honestly, kchivs, I'm not surprised how they behaved.