MIL visited her son who I'm separated from. We live 8 hours drive away. I have asked her to let me know in advance so I can facilitate her seeing the kids. She didn't inform me of her visit and DP precipitated this on me just hours before she came.
I had other plans for my dcs, so I texted to say shame they won't see her due to short notice to which no response was given. I proceeded with what I had planned for dcs but they did see her briefly(30 min) at her son's house and I know she expected to see them longer than that .
This is the 2nd time this happened( but I dropped everything the last time and she spent hours with them). But this time she had to learn a lesson.I don't care not to be informed if they visit when dp has the dcs, only if I am expected to drop plans for her.
I feel blindsided and disrespected. MIL is not keen on me and I struggle to reconcile her disrespect for me and her love for her grandchildren. I worry about how my dcs will perceive this relationship. (I'm not comfortable for people who dislike me spending time with my dcs). DCS like visiting MIL's place for a few days and she is happy to have them(Ages 7 and 5).
Was I unreasonable to go to this free activity with dcs than spend time with grandparents who they don't see often, just on principle?
Can I stop dcs's visits to dgp's house on the basis of my cold relationship with them(they can see them here) as I'm uncomfortable with this?