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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish the fun police would just go away and leave people alone

83 replies

Jusfloatingby · 04/11/2012 16:25

I was at an anniversary party last night. In the living area there was music and dancing, in the kitchen there was a gang of people (including me) sitting around chatting, drinking and having a laugh. In comes one of the fun police insisting we should 'join the party' - which we thought we were doing- and come into the sitting room and dance around the place with them. The reason we had chosen the kitchen in the first place was because we didn't want to dance and preferred to chat and joke and enjoy ourselves in our own way. She just wouldn't go away and everyone reluctantly trailed after her into the living area.
Its the same at weddings. These pests just won't let people sit back and watch the dancing or slip into the bar with a group of friends they want to have a catch up with.

Why can't people be left alone at parties to just enjoy themselves without knowing that any minute some jolly 'rocking around the Christmas tree' type is going to come up and start haranguing them and forcibly pulling them out onto the dance floor, or up to take part in the karaoke or do the conga.

AIBU to think these self styled 'life and soul of the party' types are a PITA?

OP posts:
MickeyTheShortOne · 04/11/2012 22:02

This thread is the best one I've seen all day!! YANBU!! YANBU!! Joins in with the singing "You'll always find me in the kitchen at parties".. god I love Ikea.

I do like to get up and danceif everyone else is absolutely trollied and I don't mind kareoke, but I'm also one of the ones that will quite happily sit and chat to people instead- if I don't want to dance to shit music, then I bloody well won't!!! Depends what kind of mood I'm in, but I certainly don't force people up with me (only DP, who enjoys it when he gets there Wink )

My grampy hates this so much he refuses to attend all kinds of social gatherings- least of all weddings.
He did at least attend my uncle's wedding Wink

MickeyTheShortOne · 04/11/2012 22:03

VolumeofACone I'm with you- I know how much I can drink and forcing me to drink any more will not have good consequences! must admit i've always managed to vomit in a toilet though, not the hydrangeas Wink

FromEsme · 04/11/2012 22:05

I feel so reassured that there are other people who have noticed and dislike this phenomenon.

Mrsjay · 04/11/2012 22:07

oh god yes I was at a christening once and we were asked to do a 'turn' we made a quick exit and left ,they are a musical family and friends we are tone deaf and we don't do 'turns' Confused I am in the kitchen chatting and drinking with the rest of the boring sods

pictish · 04/11/2012 22:08

SGB - when you say that those who dislike fancy dress shouldn't go to fancy dress parties, I think that's unfair. I don't like fancy dress (and believe me, I've had a word with myself and tried really hard, but nope, it's just not my idea of fun) but I still like my friends, and I still like socialising, and if there's a party I want to be there.
Fancy dress should always be optional by default. If you want to be encased in nylon with facepaint sweatily obscuring your features then that's fine. I don't like it.

As for "come oooon - you've got to daaaaance" - get stuffed. I always dance - at every party I will be up there giving it yahoo, but I would never haul some poor bugger minding their own business to their feet shouting about it.

So OP yanbu.

Mrsjay · 04/11/2012 22:10

\I have no issue with people having their kind of fun just leave me to mine Grin

maddening · 04/11/2012 22:13

There are those who prefer to chat and those that prefer to dance and those that like both.

The problem is that those that like to dance seem to require everyone to do the same - as if their own fun relies on it.

Yanbu

maddening · 04/11/2012 22:14

Ps my friend pretends she has a pin in her hip when people try and make her dance - it generally works and they leave her alone.

bitsofmeworkjustfine · 04/11/2012 22:17

I have a cunning plan... i always sit down, and when they try and make me get up, i do that two-year-old trick of making yourself really heavy.

The last time a bloke tried to pull me up out of a chair, when i didnt want to nearly had a hernia!

Gotta be thick skinned though, now everyone thinks i'm really HEAVY!

Mrsjay · 04/11/2012 22:18

I was at a 'party' wedding a guy tried to get dd up to dance to join in the fun she had a BROKEN LEG even the infirm are not safe from these people they are everywhere

sashh · 04/11/2012 22:19

Buy a bandage.

Before the next party / wedding etc claim you have a sprained ankle

wrap bandage around foot

Get friends to tell the fun police they are keeping you company as you can't dance

Mrsjay · 04/11/2012 22:20

Buy a bandage.

Before the next party / wedding etc claim you have a sprained ankle

wrap bandage around foot

DID YOU NOT READ MY POST Grin

BeatTheClock · 04/11/2012 22:26

Oh god I hate fancy dress.

Shaky · 04/11/2012 22:32

bitsofme how do they do that! And the almost dislocate their own shoulders so you can't get hold of them!

Fakebook · 04/11/2012 22:34

Yanbu, my sil is like this. She makes people feel uncomfortable if you sit and talk in a group. She has self esteem issues too and thinks everyone is always talking about her.

bitsofmeworkjustfine · 05/11/2012 08:02

its easy... you just put all your weight in your bottom. think about when you sit down you 'make yourself light' so you dont fall, try making yourself heavy and you will crash down!

JazzyTheSnowman · 05/11/2012 08:24

YADNBU

I'm 22 and I just want to apologise for my age group. Went out for Halloween with 6 girls and two blokes (one being my DP), was roped into dressing up, was forced into drinking with minimal resistance.

Was having a lovely time until an unnamed female in my party cried ...
"HEY GIRLS COME ON GET YOUR TITS OUT FOR THE LADS!"

I folded my arms and glared as I was exposed to ten breasts of varying sizes whilst my DP was desperately averting gaze because he has to work with two of these nutters.

I'm all for fun, but for fucks sake that took it to a new level...

(You will always find me in the kitchen at parties...)

Original poster
Jusfloatingby · 05/11/2012 09:54

So glad I am not being unreasonable.

I don't know why some people think its up to them to go around making sure everyone's 'having fun'. As someone who has two left feet and would rather eat my own shoes than get up and dance in public it is not 'fun' to have someone annoying and pestering you all night to get up and dance or someone who keeps jiving up to tables of people who are quite happily chatting and herding them on to the dance floor to wave their arms in the air and sing along to 'Come on Eileen'.

Fuck off Eileen and let me enjoy myself in peace.

OP posts:
mluddy · 05/11/2012 10:03

God I hate it too. I can only dance if it's music I really like and I've had a couple of drinks. I loathe enforced dancing. Would much prefer to catch up with friends and probably have a dance later in the evening. I think herding people to make up numbers on the dancefloor is just awful.

Original poster
Jusfloatingby · 05/11/2012 10:19

Actually, I've noticed that not one person has come on this thread and said 'well I like to do that YABU because...........'. Is it because they're sitting at home mortified at how they're being portrayed on here or (more likely) that they genuinely don't realise that they're like that and don't identify themselves in anyway with the type of person being discussed here?

OP posts:
MickeyTheShortOne · 05/11/2012 11:16

"Fuck off Eileen and let me enjoy myself in peace"

Sprays tea all over my keyboard Grin

I personally find the "oops upside your head" dance a bit embarassing..!

JazzyTheSnowman · 05/11/2012 12:31

See, I'm hardly a shirking wallflower - I id the entire choreographed routine to Thriller in the middle of the dancefloor last time I went out and then guzzled the champagne I received on the house - but I'd never be so rude as to interrupt everyone else just to make sure thy're having fun!

I will say though, there's a limit to this "fun police" thing. I threw a house party once and everyone was happily milling around in the lounge. Two blokes I know through work turned up, didn't bother greeting me or any of my guests, grabbed a bottle of plonk from my wine rack, sloped off into the kitchen and huddled in a corner playing poker with cards and chips they had brought along in their pockets!

I had no compunctions about telling them that, if the truly were going to be this rude, they could fuck off to the far side of fuck, but then I got abuse because I'd challenged them! I was very unimpressed...

Moominsarescary · 05/11/2012 12:51

I've never been one for dancing, I occasionally for up in my teens and early 20s but I'm a stubborn bastard and if I don't feel like it there is no moving me

I don't mind dressing up or party games and I'm more than likely to get pissed and hog the karaoke, I just really dislike dancing.

SusanneLinder · 05/11/2012 12:51

I have had a few house parties due to various events in last couple of years, and in MY house the kitchen is where the action is :o. Thats where the food and booze is kept , so only makes sense that people congregate in there. Plus where thats where you learn all the gossip!

I also provide an outdoor covered bit for the smokers (with patio heater), and it was standing room only in there, even though there were seats

You can all come to my next party! I won't make you get up to dance or drink yourself silly.

to be honest,as a hostedd,I prefer you in the kitchen, due to spilled drinks down me sofa :o